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What is Love!

Updated on June 22, 2011

Unrequited love?

What happens when you catch the car



Isn’t it funny how difficult a topic this is. After all what does a 60 plus male married twice, first time over 32 years, second time 6 years (so far) really know about love?


Perhaps it is an illness!

When I met my first wife at age 21, I recall meeting this absolutely gorgeous living doll. She had long red hair (all natural), and a figure to die for. She was a dancer so had a dancer’s figure and legs too. This was the sixties so the mini was de rigeur and seeing great legs was legally possible. I recall shortness of breath, a racing pulse and an impression that colours were brighter and events more intense. I swear I was not on anything even though this was the age of Aquarius and grass, LSD and the like were pretty freely available. I could not wait to see her every day. I still lived at home with my parents, as did she. She was still at school so our dating nights and weekends were subject to curfew around the requirements of her schooling. She was in a commercial college at that time. A sort of precursor of secretarial schools.

Our romance flourished and we finally got engaged and married. Fast forward 32 years. 4 grown up kids. Two boys, two girls. The youngest killed a car wreck at 26 and subsequent break up. She left me for my neighbor.


I was living at my club prior to and during the divorce. This was an old spooky place with me as the only resident at that time. The nights were pretty empty and alone and Christmas was coming. One of my pals suggested I join him and his wife for the annual Christmas brass band carol sing along and dinner. At my state and stage of life this was the last thing I was keen on. He told me that he had told his wife that I had a ticket (I did not but he had surreptitiously bought one for me). I said no. I then said (firmly tongue in cheek) that unless he organized at least 3 women to join our party and they had to be single, available ,one a businesswoman, one had to have an arty background and at least one must have nymphomaniac tendencies. He laughed and said my wife will phone you. She did. I agreed, very reluctantly I might add, to go to the function.

The meeting.

The night of the function dawned ( mixed metaphor if ever I heard one) and we were due to meet in the main bar for pre-prandial drinks. As I had said before I was not too keen so I dallied until I was fashionably late and made my entrance. I sought them out and there, lo and behold, were my friends accompanied by three beautiful, nay stunning, girls! But of course here I am taking some poetic license in the use of the word “girls” as we as a group were all 50 plus! As it turned out the one was a florist, the other an owner of an art gallery and the third a successful group executive in a computer company.

At any rate, we had cocktails, had polite social intercourse and finally traipsed off to dinner.

Sharing Spectacles.

After dinner, the carol singing began, but one of the ladies had left her specs behind and had an empty spectacle case. I offered to share mine with her so we spent the evening singing from the same hymn sheet so to speak and swapping the specs. We enjoyed each other’s company and agreed it would be nice to meet again. It transpired she lived in Pretoria and I was due to go to a job interview there on the following day and we agreed that perhaps we could meet for coffee after my interview. And so to bed (Alone)!

The next day

The next day I went to Pretoria for my interview. After it had ended (It was unsuccessful in case you were wondering) I contemplated whether I should contact this lady or not. After much debate with myself and staring the prospect of returning to empty club which had now closed for the Christmas season and I was well and truly alone as the only incumbent, it was a definite maybe!

I phoned the lady on my cell and we agreed to meet for coffee. She was obviously not going to invite a potential axe murderer to her home, so neutral venue seemed a good idea. She suggested a venue at the CenturionLake. This is an area with coffee shops, restaurants and a mall. I said I thought I could find it. I eventually arrived and ordered a bottomless coffee. Five cups and an hour late, the said lady had not yet pitched up and I was now finally coming to the conclusion that I had been dumped. I decide on a sixth cup. My bladder was bursting, my eyeballs felt as if they were about to be submerged below he coffee line in my eyes. The phone rang and she apologized for being so late but as she was going of to the Eastern Cape on holiday in the following week, friends and family had arrived on her doorstep with presents that she had to take with on the trip. She then asked if it was going to hail. I said I thought not. She said ok in that case she would still come for coffee. Odd question!


Finally a half an hour later the lady arrived. I then said I had had enough coffee and as it was dinner time what about dinner. She agreed. I then found out she had a new car and was afraid that it might hail and damage her car, hence the oddball question.

We talked until we were thrown out of the restaurant in the wee hours.

I asked if she had ever been to Melville, a bohemian area in Johannesburg. She said no. I suggested we go there on the following day (it was so late it was actually the same day). She said she would call but probably she would go with me.

The weekend

We did meet the next day and I discovered she was also recently divorced after 30 odd years (serial cheating spouse) and that she planned to drive to the Port Elizabeth (a 12 hour road trip). She also told me she falls asleep at the wheel of a car and had already done so recently on a relatively small road trip to the game reserve. As far as Sunday was concerned I had already made lunch plans with the same friends who had arranged the brass band affair. I asked whether she would be there, she said no she was not included in that outing. It turns out the other two ladies were indeed invited. After lunch I phoned her and we agreed to meet at her home the evening. On the spur of the moment, offered to drive her to PE and fly back. She said I would have to meet her daughters first and only if they approved would she accept my offer. We all met for dinner and the daughter approval was obtained.

The trip.

I met her every night of the following week and I drove her to PE. I spent the weekend with her (separate accommodation). As I was leaving at the airport, she offered to pay my airfare back, if I agreed to return and drive her back at the end of her holiday. I agreed and we agreed to stay in touch by texting and the odd phone call.

Suffice to say I flew back on the New Year weekend and we saw the New year in together and drove back the following day.

The end

On the way back we both were finding excuses to break up our romance. I said she was like a dog chasing a car, but she had caught it and did not know what to do with it.

We never broke up and she and I have been married for six years. She is my dearly beloved

So I am still not sure what love is or whether it is a sickness but we have a special dinner every valentines day and have not missed out – so far!


Another Great HubMob from sixtyorso


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    • sixtyorso profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Fagan 

      8 years ago from South Africa

      Cocoa_81 Thanks so much for your kind words

      Thank you

    • CoCoa_81 profile image


      8 years ago from Shreveport, Louisiana

      I'm a wife who tries to enjoy and cherish my marriage because love is so short and some tend to forget the true meaning of love. This is a great read. Thanx!

    • sixtyorso profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Fagan 

      9 years ago from South Africa

      Why thank you M'am for your kind words I feel the same about you.I really appreciate your stopping by and commenting.

    • blondepoet profile image


      9 years ago from australia

      Oh what a beautiful story it is like a fairytale ending. You deserve everything you get because you seem to be such a beautiful person. You can tell a lot about a person from their writing.

    • sixtyorso profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Fagan 

      9 years ago from South Africa

      Hi Benji thanks for reading and appreciating. Your comments are most welcome thank you. BTW there was that pop song that had line "when you kiss you get enough germs to catch pneumonia" i think it was called "i'll never love again"!

    • Benjimester profile image

      Benji Mester 

      9 years ago from San Diego, California

      Great story. And I chuckled about reading how love might be a disease. haha, that's an interesting way of looking at it :) I'm glad you found love again!

    • sixtyorso profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Fagan 

      9 years ago from South Africa

      Marisue Your comments are always such a pleasure and a treasure to me. You add so much to my hubs by your thoughtful and incisive comments. I too feel I know you better and better as we communicate through our writing and comments.

      Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting.

    • marisuewrites profile image


      9 years ago from USA

      Ahhh sixtyorso, once again, you have taken me on an unforgettable journey of getting to know you. Such depth and personality you have, all due to life's experiences, both sad and joyful. One cannot happen without the other, yes?

      It seems we must have opposites in life, sometimes we're heavy on one kind for awhile, then we get a breeze that refreshes, renewing our strength for what is yet to be.

      Love, what is love? Love is winning, losing, sharing, taking. love is an old blue nightgown (my latest hub...)

      Love is life, entwined with opposites. How we travel the journey is the story; I think you travel well. =)) If we never meet, I will feel as though you and your wife are my friends. Good writing, my friend.

    • sixtyorso profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Fagan 

      9 years ago from South Africa

      CCR Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. I am afraid you are absolutely right unfortunately. Thanks for your good wishes and support.

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 

      9 years ago

      Ah my man, love is not a sickness nor is it a cold. It can never go away for even in death it is there in one's memory not buried but held fast and dear. Somewhere in your soul is still the love you had for that wretched one who done you wrong, but now another has hold on you srtong. Great hub, thanks for sharing, many happy years ahead with your dearly beloved

    • sixtyorso profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Fagan 

      9 years ago from South Africa

      foxility I hope for you sake (nd mine for that matter) that it does not go away like a cold. But I guess it can and that's perhaps another reason why I compare it to a sickness. But for now I am still feverish! LOL

      Shirley what can I say except Aw Shucks, blush blush.

      Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting, your support means a lot to me and is not time bound! I am just pleased you could give of your time.

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 

      9 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Well, Sixty, I'm a week late but I finally made it here!

      I skimmed the comments and everyone has already said what I wanted to say.  That'll teach me for being tardy.

      It's a great story, Sixty and I'm happy that you found love again.  You sound like such a sweetheart, it's not too surprising that you weren't alone for long.

    • foxility profile image


      9 years ago

      Great stories. I am still wondering what love is though. I'm not sure if I have it... but if I do I hope it doesn't go away like my cold.

    • sixtyorso profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Fagan 

      9 years ago from South Africa

      Hi Rodney

      Absolutely Why not let it all hang out. Thanks for your support as always.

    • Just_Rodney profile image

      Rodney Fagan 

      9 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City

      Nice one there Sixty, really enjoyed the hub, a lot off memories there! Maybe I should cllimb onto the love boat trip and expose some more of my hidden past.

    • sixtyorso profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Fagan 

      9 years ago from South Africa

      Earnest Thanks so much for your uplifting comments

      Bevy Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Yep I think you confirm it, Love is definitely an illness. May you stay ill and never recover. Thanks for your great comments.

      Dottie What can I say. Aaw gee I am flattered. Thanks so much for your encouraging words!

    • Dottie1 profile image


      9 years ago from MA, USA

      Oh how I love this story so much I'm returning to Shirley's V-Day the HubMob Way to vote this one phenominal. Thanks for sharing!

    • bevy400 profile image


      9 years ago from scarborough

      How nice to find love again.....I have been with my boyfriend one whole yr this coming Friday and it is definately love.We met over the internet and he brought me back to life.To me love is being content,feeling desirable even when your wearing your tattiest dressing gown and have mascara dripping down your cheeks .Love is wanting to always make the other half of you smile and chase away their blues.Love is a day dream that you never want to wake from.May your love keep blooming.

    • earnestshub profile image


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      terrific! I enjoyed reading this a lot.I am glad you found someone to love you and share your life with.

    • sixtyorso profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Fagan 

      9 years ago from South Africa

      Violet Yes life has it's ups and downs but one learns to just enjoy life and take it as it comes.Another 24 years (that will make me around 85) whew!.

      Toady I am not sure. But let's simply look on the bright side! grab life by the marrow and suck the juices man!

      Bruce it knocks you on the head when your not looking. Your turn will certainly come!

      Thanks all for stopping by and commenting.

    • profile image

      Bruce Elkin 

      9 years ago

      Great on Sixtyorso. Great story. Well written, and I think you captured a good chunk of the angst and the joy that accompany this strange phenomena of (falling in) love. I'm about your age, single, wondering if it'll ever happen again. And you give me hope. Thanks!

    • goldentoad profile image


      9 years ago from Free and running....

      Great story, my man. I think you gotta a pretty good idea what love is.

    • VioletSun profile image


      9 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      I love stories with a happy ending, that is the meeting of your second wife, and why not, it could another 30 years or a lifetime for both of you. Enjoyed your the story of your dearly beloved. :)

    • sixtyorso profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Fagan 

      9 years ago from South Africa


      Thanks so much for your support, Your comments are always encouraging and helpful. Once again thanks.

    • anjalichugh profile image


      9 years ago from New York

      If love starts with too much of 'Fizz' it, most likely, 'fizzles' out soon.

      Your relationship with your second wife seems to be more stable as compared to the first one. The way it culminated into a long term relationship was really romantic. I loved reading it. Thx for sharing

    • sixtyorso profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Fagan 

      9 years ago from South Africa

      Shalini Pam Chris needful things  CW G-Ma Spryte Misty, Joe and Seetie Pie

      Thanks for stopping by. I must admit this hub sort of wrote iteself. I was going to wri,te about famous love stories Duke Edward and Mrs Sinpson Burton and Tayor Pitt and Jolie, Anthonuy and Cleopatra, etc and this hub sort of weote itself!

      Your comments are very gratifying one and all. I see the double post gremlin has raised its ugly head again. But perhaps that is a sign on my second bite of the cherry!

      Sweetie Pie I agree that a bit more on the sixties is perhaps another hub I should do.

    • SweetiePie profile image


      9 years ago from Southern California, USA

      I think you know about love because you appreciate love in your life. I enjoyed your description of the sixties when you meet your first love, it really allows the reader to glimpse into your world.

    • rockinjoe profile image

      Joseph Addams 

      9 years ago from Standing right behind you!

      Awesome story. You know you're in love when you get thrown out of the restaurant.

    • mistyhorizon2003 profile image

      Cindy Lawson 

      9 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

      whoops ,treble post, feel free to delete last two Sixty :)

    • mistyhorizon2003 profile image

      Cindy Lawson 

      9 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

    • mistyhorizon2003 profile image

      Cindy Lawson 

      9 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

      Ahhh , lovely story Sixty, and I am so glad you found happiness again :)

    • spryte profile image


      9 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Love is very tricky...sometimes it clobbers you over the head and at other times it sneaks in quietly when you aren't paying attention...and then clobbers you over the head. :) I'm so glad you found love twice in your lifetime...and even more glad that you shared it with all of us.


    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 

      9 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Wow... Sixtyorso great Love Story...and  even a Happy Ending...(so far) as you put it. This spured me to read the  other ...and am sorry about all the things you have been through...but has also helped make you the dear Man you are today... Thanks for sharing and giving me hope...I may even find "someone" before it's too late...Hee hee LOL  G-Ma :o) Hugs & Peace

    • Constant Walker profile image

      Constant Walker 

      9 years ago from Springfield, Oregon

      Great story, Sixty. I'm still hoping to find that "one person."

      The best religious slogan I've ever seen is "God is Love." It was on a bumper-sticker. I thought on this, in the literal sense, for a while and I agree. It's the best explination of God I think I've heard.

    • needful things profile image

      needful things 

      9 years ago from Poland

      Love is short... forgetting is long - PNeruda

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 

      9 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      All the world loves a lover it is said. I'm glad you found love again or whatever it is that makes you call her "dearly beloved". Thanks for sharing your story :D

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 

      9 years ago from Manila, Philippines

    • Pam Roberson profile image

      Pam Roberson 

      9 years ago from Virginia

      What a lovely love story. :) You went from sharing spectacles and coffee to sharing your lives together. :)

      I must say you're a much better person than I in tolerating the lateness issue, but I'm glad the ending was so happy. :)

      I loved your analogy about her being like a dog chasing a car, and once she caught it, she didn't know what to do with it. ROFL! :)

    • Shalini Kagal profile image

      Shalini Kagal 

      9 years ago from India

      Dearly beloved - what a lovely description! When you love, it comes back to you in full measure! It's so wonderful to read about a happy ending sixtyorso - may your love go on forever!


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