ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

What is the Meaning of Love? How to Know If You're Truly "In Love"

Updated on October 14, 2016

What Exactly is Love?

Can "love" really be defined?

"Love" is a word that can mean so many different things. You can love chocolate and you can love your pet, but these are two completely separate emotions. You would probably not grieve for months if your chocolate got run over by a car, and If you eat your pet at 4am when you have the munchies, then that might be considered a trifle eccentric. You can love an object, love an activity, love a feeling, love an animal, love a place, love an acquaintance, love a celebrity, love a friend, love your family, love a partner, be in love and make love. Love can be a verb (to love) and a noun (my love). It can even be a zero score in tennis!

Here I am going to explore the definition of "love" in the sense of being "in love" with someone to whom you are sexually attracted.

Define "In Love"

The dictionary will tell you that "in love" means to be enamored of someone.

This seems a very bland definition when love is so much more.

To me, being "in love" with you means something different as the relationship grows.

When I first fall "in love" with you it means that I cherish every moment we spend together, and I think about you frequently when we are apart, waiting for the next time I'll see you. I respect you, I admire you and I support you. I think you are beautiful, inside and out. I am proud of you, and proud to be seen with you. I want to make love to you, and have you make love to me. You make me feel wonderful and special and amazing. I will do pretty much anything for you. I will give and give, and love giving to you. If you feel the same way about me, it seems almost incredible - I feel elated and excited and all is right with the world.

As our relationship develops, my being "in love" with you changes and deepens. I trust you, and know that we can spend time apart, and still be there for each other. I love your company and also love pursuing my own independent interests. I want to share with you those things that make me happy, and angry, and sad. I want you to share your feelings with me, but understand that we are individuals. I feel a physical pain for you when you are unhappy or hurt. I need you, and want to please you, and appreciate all you do for me.


How Do You Know You're In Love?

This is an age old question, and one that is difficult to answer because everyone is different.

Sometimes the only difference between a crush and being in love is whether the other person returns your feelings. Othertimes, a crush has nothing to do with love, and is based on just one feeling, like sexual desire, without the emotions that go with it.

Physical desire, feelings of excitement and joy, fantasies, dreams, wanting to be with that person, thinking about him or her all the time, wanting to give ... these are definitely components of being in love, but are not necessarily the real deal.

As I said, everyone is different, so there are no definite rules. Here I am talking about being in love just after falling in love - unfortunately you can be in love with someone who changes, and then, of course, the rules change.

If you have just realised that you might be falling for someone, perhaps try to put these obvious feelings together with my personal list below of the essential ingredients to help know if you are truly "in love":

  • You know the person very well
    I don't believe you can really be "in love" with someone unless you know them well as a person. It is possible to experience a lot of the symptoms, for want of a better word, but not actually be in love with that person. Without properly knowing a person, your imagination will fill in the gaps with a fantasy of an ideal person, so you can have feelings towards someone who doesn't actually exist. You can only fall in love with a friend.
  • Your feelings are returned
    It is possible to be in love with someone who doesn't love you, but only if a once loving relationship has broken down. When falling in love, you will usually share your feelings, and tell each other that you love each other. That person will be caring and kind, and make you feel confident in yourself.
  • Your feelings are positive
    If you feel anxious, jealous, spiteful or anything else negative about the relationship for more than a very, very short time, then you are not in love. Love is about complete trust and surrendering your heart to another person. It is not about playing games and testing another person. All feelings associated with being in love are positive.
  • You trust the person
    Love is about trusting someone else completely. You will feel secure if you are in love. If you don't trust the person to nuture you and care for you, you are not in love. If you feel uncomfortable or pressured, you are not in love.
  • You can be yourself around that person
    When you are in the company of the person with whom you are in love, you should be able to feel completely relaxed and at ease. You should feel at peace with him and with the world. If you pretending to be something you are not, or changing yourself for that person, you are not in love.
  • You can express your true feelings without fear
    People who are in love don't have to agree on everything, but they do need to be able to listen to the other person's point of view. You should be able to honestly say how you feel, and even if you fight, you make up quickly.

You'll Know

The funny thing is, we can go through all of this questioning and researching, but at the end of the day, if you are in love, you'll know for sure.

There is nothing else like the feeling of falling in love and of being in love with a person who loves you in return.

There will be no doubt when you really experience it. Don't try to define it, just enjoy it!

You deserve to be in love.

© 2010 herpointofview


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)