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What not to say to a man: Things to never say to your boyfriend or husband

Updated on March 11, 2013

What not to say to a man? What are the things you should never say to a guy? This tongue-in-cheek post reveals the peculiar things that you should never say to your boyfriend or husband and avoid making the mistake of embarrassing him. Guys are known to be very sensitive about certain things and appreciate their partners to know where to draw the line.

1) Never tell a guy that that he earns less money than his friends

Never tell a man that he earns less money than his friends. It will humiliate him and deflate his ego completely. If you say this to your boyfriend or husband, his confidence levels will drop into negative.

Use better words, phrases and sentences if you must encourage your guy to earn more money but never make the mistake of comparing his income to others.

2) Don't tell him that he is afraid of commitment

Telling your partner that he is afraid of commitment can make him commitment phobic even if he isn't. Your guy may have never seen commitment as a bad thing in particular until the moment you talked about it.

Regardless of whether you and your partner are at a crossroad of life where you need to decide the future of your relationship, don't make matters complicated by telling him that he is afraid of committing.

3) Do not compare him with your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband

You may have gone into your relationship with expectations from your previous relationship but don't make that evident. Don't say anything to your man that vaguely hints towards comparison with your exes.

Never say anything that pokes fun at your guy's muscles. Men are pretty sensitive in this area.
Never say anything that pokes fun at your guy's muscles. Men are pretty sensitive in this area. | Source

4) Don't tell a guy that he has small muscles

A guy's muscles are a core component of driving his manliness, confidence and ego levels. Don't make him feel weak by saying anything that pokes fun at his small frame. Even the toughest of alpha males can feel insulted and humiliated if their girlfriends or wives tell them that their muscles are small.

5) Don't say that you are in awe of his friend

Telling a man that you are impressed by, or are in awe of his friend is likely to send him into a tizzy. Your boyfriend or husband may not express it directly but your statement will plunge him into a dark hole of jealousy and he may even start doubting that you are fond of his friend.

Avoid doing this even if you are genuinely and platonically in awe for your guy's friend, whether you are impressed with his professional life, personality, looks or achievement.

6) Never tell a man that he doesn't know how to flirt

When it comes to knowing how or how not to flirt with girls, most men consider themselves to be experts or at least wish that they were. Don't say to a guy that he is pathetic at the art of flirting. He will feel insulted to the core and may develop a tiny bit of animosity at you for your views.

7) Don't tell a guy that he is insecure about his body

Telling a guy that he is insecure about his body will make him insecure even if he isn't. Even if you feel that your guy is actually not confident about his body, don't spell it out to him. Instead, suggest to him something that helps him get over such confidence issues.

For example, instead of telling him directly that he is insecure about his body because he walks with a hunch, tell him that he will look sexier if he keeps his back straight.

8) Never say that you are not happy in the relationship

This applies especially to couple who have been dating for a couple of months. You may instantly ruin the future of your relationship if you tell your guy that you are not happy in the relationship. He may immediately see the relationship as a waste of time.

Being vocal about your feelings is one of the secrets of being a happy couple. If you must highlight an issue that is bothering you, do it specifically. Saying that you are not happy in your relationship and expecting him to read between the lines can be very risky.

9) Never tell a guy that you cheated on one of your previous partners

Telling a guy that you cheated on one of your previous partners is like giving him a warning sign that you will cheat on him too. Regardless of how strong a bond you have in your relationship, such a statement will do a lot of damage.

10) Don't tell your boyfriend that he is a nicer guy than your nasty exes

Don't tell your man that he is a nicer guy than all your exes will even if you feel it genuinely. A statement like this will give your guy weird thoughts about the crazy stuff you must have done with your exes.

Popular culture tends to glamorize the bad boy image and telling your guy that he is nicer than your exes will not go well with him. Even if you honestly believe that your boyfriend is a nicer human being that your exes, keep it to yourself.

Don't say no to physical intimacy directly or else you are likely to leave your guy fuming.
Don't say no to physical intimacy directly or else you are likely to leave your guy fuming.

11) Never express a lack of desire for physical intimacy

Expressing a lack of desire for physical intimacy will do a lot more than disappoint your man for that very moment. Your expression and words will be engraved in his mind and he will feel constantly feel deprived of a basic pleasure even if your sex life is relatively healthy.

If you have had a tiring day or you are not just in the mood for sex, find better ways to avoid physical intimacy. Telling him on the face that you are not in the mood will have a permanent effect on his excitement levels towards your relationship.

12) Never ask your partner to specifically introduce you to his friends, colleagues or boss

Asking your man to introduce you to his guy friend, colleague or boss is like telling him indirectly that you have an eye for that guy. Unless you have business with that person, don't ask your guy to introduce you to him.

13) Don't say to a guy that he is immature

Telling your man that he is immature can spike a range of negative thoughts in his head. He may start getting intimidated by you, he may start doubting his decision making skills or he may even start questioning his basic maturity levels.

Using the word 'immature' loosely and outside context can be interpreted in many ways. Rather than letting your boyfriend or husband making his own interpretation of how you meant it, don't say it.

14) Never say to a man that his car is pathetic

The bond between a man and his car can be compared to the bond between a woman and her shoes. Telling a girl that her new heels are ugly will instantly deflate her and make her feel depressed. The same will happen to your man if you demean his choice of wheels.

15) Don't talk about the sexiness of another girl in front of your man

Unless you want your man's mind to wander when he is dreaming, don't praise another girl's sexiness when he is around. Avoid asking your man questions like 'Do you find her hot?' or 'She has a good figure, doesn't she?'

This does not imply that he will fantasize about her or he will think about her behind your back. Why would you want to give your man a chance to look at other women or think about how hot another girl is?

16) Don't ask your guy to be like a celebrity

Have you ever said to your guy that he looks like a certain celebrity and that he should have a body like him? You may have done a lot of damage if you have. Telling a guy to behave or look like a certain celebrity is as good as telling him that he needs to improve his looks and personality.

Most men feel that they are genetically blessed with good driving skills. Don't make your guy feel bad by poking fun at his driving.
Most men feel that they are genetically blessed with good driving skills. Don't make your guy feel bad by poking fun at his driving.

17) Don't tell your guy that you drive better than him

It is yet to be established officially whether guys are better drivers than girls or is it actually the other way round. In any case, guys consider themselves to be better drivers and sometimes even think that they are genetically blessed with good driving skills.

Allow your man to bask in the glory of being a better driver than you are, even if he isn't. He will feel bad if you tell him that his driving skills are poor.

18) Never say to your man that he is hopeless with simple tools and everyday fixes

Guys like to behave like gentlemen and come to the rescue of their damsels when they need help with quirky and silly stuff around the house. It gives them an ego boost to know that they helped their girlfriends or wives to help screw in a bulb or tighten the screws to a rocky chair.

In popular culture men are supposed to know how to use simple tools like screwdrivers and pliers. Don't embarrass your guy by telling him that he is a dud in this department.

19) Never express excessive praise for a guy colleague at work

Do yourself and your relationship a big favor by never praising a male colleague excessively in front of your boyfriend or husband. Even if he doesn't show it, your man may develop feelings of jealousy or even start getting suspicious about your relationship with your colleague.

You may be spending 8 hours every day at work and it is not the best of ideas to tell your man that you are in awe of a work colleague, even if your praise stems from your colleague's skills and abilities.

20) Never directly suggest to a guy that you were not satisfied in bed

Telling a guy that you were not satisfied in bed during your steamy rendezvous the previous night will make him feel less of a man. Your boyfriend's or husband's confidence in his love making skills will plummet if you say something like this after having sex.

Your will constantly worry and fret if you tell him that you were not satisfied in bed. This worry will spill and affect his work, studies and personal life. A better option would be to suggest new moves so that you can infuse some excitement while getting what you want at the same time.


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    • emilynemchick profile image

      Emily Nemchick 

      8 years ago from Phoenix, AZ

      I think that this hub has something useful to say - making belittling or demeaning comments to your man (or woman) is harmful to a relationship. If there are legitimate problems, though, they need to be worked out and shouldn't be kept quiet.

      Also, I personally love my husband's bright green chevy spark and don't think it belittles his manliness on bit ;)

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      8 years ago from Sunny Florida

      I think you have made many suggestions to keep a relationship together, especially when it is new. I do think we have to be careful to not lose ourselves in trying to please him. On the other hand, I would not like to hear some of these comments from my guys ( not the must part or car), but several of the others. Honest communication, I believe is healthy, but it does not have to harmful or petty. Good hub!

    • sholland10 profile image

      Susan Holland 

      8 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      It is all right to communicate things, but it should never be with malice or to make him jealous or to feel less or, worse, for control. You have written some good tips! Boyfriends/husbands must be handled with respect and care, as do we. :-)

    • Tonipet profile image

      Tonette Fornillos 

      8 years ago from The City of Generals

      Most often than not, it's best to open things up so both expectations can be met halfway. I believe good relationships repair the worst for the best of the making. Openness can be fun. Thanks for the tips, these are helpful ideas to help us women find the tact if we ever need to tell him something.

    • billd01603 profile image


      8 years ago from Worcester

      Good Hub. The key is to have tact when and where these things are said

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      8 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      It depends on the kind of man you are talking to if he is the traditional kind you got to really watch how you speak to him. Good points to keep in mind.

    • bizna profile image


      8 years ago from NAIROBI - KENYA

      I think what matters most is the way you tell it to him. If it's in a good friendly well calculated way, i guess he will appreciate it. For instance number 20 is a very important area in a marriage to both parties. If you don't tell him, you will continue not getting the satisfaction, i think he should know. That's my opinion anyway.

    • profile image

      Phoebe Pike 

      8 years ago

      I'm sorry, but this hub is damaging to relationships. Yes, be thoughtful and considerate of your love and their feelings, but as a person you can't bottle up your thoughts and opinions... otherwise they will love you for who you aren't. This hub fuels the stereotypes of men and women and basically says women should be second in everything.

      The truth matters. One lie leads to another and if you do not take pride in doing something better, it only causes you to hide your talents. This kind of suggestions will only demean women.

      I say what is on my mind. I will not lie or hide anything from my love. Seth is a wonderful man and he understands me completely. We are open and communicate without fibbing. If he's bad at something, I let him know and we work on it together. If I am bad at something, he does the same. It is disrespectful to belittle our partners and simply hail them as perfect.


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