- Gender and Relationships
What really is a true friend?
Is your best friend really a friend at all?
Friendship or Aquaintence
All through our lives we come across people, some we love and never want out of our lives, then there's others who came and went, even on a good note. No hard feelings. I've met such people in my lifetime. Glad I got to know them, even if it was a short time. It didn't mean they were not a REAL friend at the time. For those people, they'll always be in my heart, and I will never ever forget them.
The aquaintence-friend is when you question how long will this person be a "friend" to you. They are the person who shows you friendship one day, but they don't really LISTEN to the things you say, or they are just flat out users. You have something they want. Whether it be an item or even your lover!
Finding and figuring out these things can sometimes take just days, on the spot, or sometimes years!
I have found that some people will befriend me, buy me a trinket, or do something for me, only to have some expectation of me doing something in return. I don't believe that's a true friendship in the making. When I do something for someone, whether I know them well or not, I don't expect anything in return (although a thank you would be nice lol ;) but I do it from the heart.
If you've found that person who you believe is of a good heart, and they mean well, and they do something for you, and do not have an expectation of you doing something in return, you've probably found a person who'll be a good friend to you, and for a lifetime, hopefully!
I've come to the conclusion, that time isn't really a factor in true friendship. What really matters is how they treat you, and are they there for you if they can be. Especially during times of dyer need of friendship. Unconditional friendship.
My father passed away last week, and of course I'm still mourning his death, but I have learned that some of my friends don't know how to deal with death, but were still there for me. They didn't know what words to use, or what to say to console me. But that doesn't matter, when you don't know what to do or say when your friend is dealing with such a situation, then just knowing your friend is there, even if it's just sitting and saying nothing, listening to music or distracting you from tears, THAT is true friendship. One can only say they are sorry it happened so much, and that's fine.
There really isn't any one thing anybody can say anyway, so just being there, being a phone call away, being invited out, being visited even though you look like hell, and not judging you, that is true friendship. Just the fact that they've been with you, and have acknowledged you are in pain or saddness, that in itself is comforting.
A true friend will let you be YOU in your darkest hour, and a true friend will tell you, yes, dear, those jeans make your butt look fat, CHANGE. :) A true friend will tell you when you have bad breath, in a discrete way! A true friend will never put conditions on you. A true friend will go out of their way to make you feel better when you are down, even if it's not the right thing you're looking for, it was still done with good intentions. Also, they will laugh with you when things are happy. A true friend will acknowledge how you feel at any given moment. A true friend will not do anything more harmful to your situation than you're already in, regardless of how they feel.
If you find yourself questioning, is your best friend REALLY your best friend? Then you've already answered your own question. Questioning it, leaves you with the answer. No, they are not a true friend. They are a person in your life of convenience. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Sad, yes, but also very true.