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What to do after the first date

Updated on January 13, 2012

Before we discuss: what to do after the first date, you should understand that guys and girls have very different post date behavior. It is unreasonable to expect that your date experienced the date in the same way you did or that they are thinking the same things you are.

What to do after the first date really depends on how the first date went. I would split dates up into 3 categories: the train smash date, the OK date and the perfect date.

The bad date

Immediately apply some of your favorite comfort food followed by a hot bath. Resist the following: badmouthing your date on the phone to your friends, blaming yourself, giving up on finding love or over indulging in bad behavior.

Life is just too short for bad dates.

Prepare yourself, so if they contact you and want to go out again you are ready to say: ‘no’. It’s nobody’s fault that you don’t work together, that’s just life.

The OK date
After the date you need to take some quiet time to put it all in perspective. Reflect on the good parts and the bad parts of the date. Once you have taken some time, make the decision as to whether trying it again is worth it. Personally I have found in the age of internet dating it’s not worth settling for OK. It’s easy enough to setup new dates with new people every week and wasting my time on a second best candidate is just not worth it.

The perfect date
Now it’s easy to get carried away by a perfect date. The key is to keep your expectations and fantasies under control. Let’s take a look at what’s probably going on in your date’s head after the perfect date.

Girl’s head
Moonlight walks on the beach

Guy’s head
But mostly lust

Remember that turning a great date into a great relationship takes time and effort. But ultimately you are on a very rewarding path.

The phone call

When it comes to making the first call after the date, my advice would be let the guy do it. He should call between 24 and 48 hours after the date. There is no need to setup a new date, at that time, it’s only to talk. Calling before that might leave you looking a little needy. Waiting any longer might upset her.

The phone call for girls
Now, if you had a great date you might expect the guy to call you right away. So you wait by the telephone. But a guy having the same great date, might wait a week before calling you. It doesn’t mean anything, that’s just how guys think and behave. If he waits a week before calling you don’t go off on him, just pretend you are happy hear from him.

There is nothing wrong with you deciding to take the initiative and call him. You should however wait at least 24 hours, otherwise you are going to seem over-eager.

I hope we have given you some helpful ideas on what to do after the first date.

What to do after the first date
What to do after the first date


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