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What to do if you are in love with a married man

Updated on June 6, 2012
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Being in love with a married man is one of the most difficult feeling you can ever experience. Its the same feeling when you first fall in love. The only difference is your aggressiveness towards each other.

If you are a married woman and you fell in love with a married man. You will likely to ruin 2 families for the sake of your love. If you are both Muslim which permits up to 4 marriage, are you prepared that someday, the man you love will marry again another woman?

I know you are aware of all the consequences of being in love with a married man and if you want to halt your feelings for him, here are the few best thing you can do.


  1. Do not make the first move

    Do not tell him you like him or you find him attractive. Two things will likely to happen if you tell him your feelings. It's either he will take advantage of you or he will tell his feelings for you. If you make the first move and you begin an intimate relationship with him, prepare yourself for all the consequences that may happen. If you are married, you might ruin your family. If he can marry you because it was permitted on his religion and culture prepare yourself the next time he saw a beautiful and attractive woman. Control yourself, keep silent.

  2. Do not show any signs you like him even if he confronts you

    Do not give any obvious signs or body signals. Do not compliment him even if he was the most handsome and attractive man you saw. If you saw him staring at you, just smile and divert your attention. If he tell you his feelings for you, do not pay attention, pretend you did not understand or hear anything, excuse yourself and tell him you have to do something. If you are not sure what to say, don't say any word because it will just prolong the conversation. Just listen to what he say but do not believe him.

  3. Make yourself busy

    Keep on doing something. Don't let your mind to have extra space for him. Go shopping, grocery or anything that will make you tired and sleep well at night. If you always see him on your dreams, it's normal, you cannot do anything about it. Even if you do not think of him, your subconscious mind is responsible for that, you can't prevent it.


If you can't suppress your feelings because I know its very hard especially when you see him always, everyday, all the time, here are the best thing to do.


  1. Enjoy your feelings of being in love again and let it go slowly

    If you cannot force yourself to forget him, just enjoy your feelings. Smile when nobody looks at you. Shout out loud when you are happy because he notice you. Sooner your feelings will subside and you will forget it. It will then become a great happy memory nobody knows only you.


  2. Make your self more beautiful and charming

    Take advantage of this time. Make yourself pretty and charming. Dress up and enjoy the time he stares at you. If you improve yourself, not only him will look at you, other guys will surely do. Who knows you might hook your Mr. Right.


Suppressing your feelings for him is very hard, but you will never know how hard the consequences can be if you jump on the relationship and continue falling for him. If you have a present relationship, focus your attention to your partner.

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    • idigwebsites profile image

      idigwebsites 4 years ago from United States

      Very nice and useful hub.

      We hear things like you don't find love because it finds you, something like that. But if this kind approaches you just push it away, especially if you know that he's married -- don't let your feelings for him go deeper. Don't fall to your weakness when you know you're stepping on someone else's toes. Be happy with your singleness while you can. :)

      While you say you listen to your heart, there's your brain for you to use -- to keep you in control and to prevent you from getting hurt. :)

    • profile image

      dil 5 years ago

      Thanks. This was very useful

    • bougainvillea profile image
      Author

      bougainvillea 5 years ago

      Hi reema, thanks for dropping by.

      Be wise Reema. Think for yourself many times. Are you ready to be other woman in his life? If he is not really happy with his wife, tell him to divorce or annul his wife, if he didn't do that, back off, he is fooling you.

      You cannot play with a married man because 80% you will be a looser. You can bear a child but he may not take the responsibilities.

      And think about it, If he do that before to his wife, what would you think would be the reason he will not do it AGAIN when you became his partner. Are you prepared if that happen?

    • profile image

      reema 5 years ago

      What to do if someone was in love with you but you have realized it late and now he is married with some other girl but now you want him back in your life and he is also not happy with her wife.

    • Robie Benve profile image

      Robie Benve 5 years ago from Ohio

      Wow, what a hot topic you are writing about. I like how you approach it wisely, giving great advice. It's very hard to control emotions and body language when you are attracted to a man as strongly as you describe, but I agree that keeping it quiet is the best way to go, and time will smoulder the fire.