- Gender and Relationships
What's Your Number?
Just A Thought
So I have to admit I saw the movie What's Your Number? I thought Anna Faris and Chris Evans did an awesome job and they had excellent chemistry. I liked it and it made me laugh for the 1.5 hrs I was in the movie theater. I know it got slammed in the media and by anyone who had a microphone. But I ask you, if you pay your ten dollars and for an hour and a half you forget how crappy life is can it really be that bad? Those of us in the younger generation said well it doesn't matter because that is old time thinking. And what I found out recently is those in the older generation said why do I want to see a movie about a promiscuous girl. No one keeps track of that anymore and whats good for the men is good for the women is the general standby for those in the middle of the two age gaps. I'm going to suggest you watch the movie because it sounds like a bunch of women writer's got in an uproar about what was simply a comedic attempt to make light of something no one admits, but at one time we all think about. Then again maybe men don't.
In this day and age we are all aware of what is waiting out there in the world for the sexually promiscuous. All I'm going to say about that is responsibility people and condoms. Use them and respect yourself enough to look out for yourself. Now that I have done my public awareness announcement I want to talk about the crux of my page.
So when I went to see the movie I was laughing hysterically and there were steamy shots of Chris Evans and some equally stimulating shots for me. And I enjoyed myself. Then I left the theater and the next day I started to wonder if what I really should have taken from it was an evaluation of my past. I'm not ashamed of that number and I don't think it makes me promiscuous or anything like that. I do think it makes me incredibly feminine and the reason I say that is because I don't think men think about it. Maybe most women don't either and I am the corky exception to the rule.
What I have been thinking is ......8.
That's my number. Eight times I have chosen Mr. Wrong. That got me thinking why? And why got me here to an evaluation of that number and what it really says about me. I'd have to agree with a lot of the people who told me that first time was a mistake. Oh boy were they right and Oh boy would I take it back if I could. But I can't and having said that it made me a lot wiser not at the time, but now. I can see how naive I was and what a mistake it was to get involved with a loser like that. So just for the record girls, if your young and he is promising you the world, but has no job run. He is up to no good and you want no part of it. If he shows up wherever you are all the time and you never have a moments peace. There is a word for that: STALKER. And if the hairs on the back of your neck stand up or your gut tells you there is something wrong trust it because him being a bad boy or misunderstood is just not worth the pain and trouble later.
There are genuinely good guys out there and I really wish I could take out the one I just went off about and put the one before him in there because there is not a day lately that I don't wonder and hope he is well. And though I might have regretted it later I think my regret would be of a different type.
See what I realized looking at my 8 is most of them have a pattern. And if most of them have a pattern then so do I. I have 2 one night stands. I cannot begin to judge those two guys because I barely know them and I have no clue other than I was lonely and It seemed like a good idea at the time. 2 Emotionally unavailable which at the time so was I so lesson learned that basically there was no glue in this relationship just a need to escape and I have found better ways to do that since then.
Which leads me to the last 3 which basically are just lighter versions or same versions of my first. Control freaks! What I realized is that my apple has not fallen far from its tree. In one way or another I had wanted someone to tell me what to do or to be in control. It was easy to not be the one in control because they had all the power and having all the power meant when whatever endeavor I was in did not work it was not my fault.
So what I learned about that number. It's not just a number, its a chance to gain some perspective. Take life at a different angle and let the mistakes of the past go. Maybe make some news one. I can't make it go away, but I'm a little better for those eight. Four, I know I won't be choosing anyone like them again. I'm finally ready to be the adult me in a relationship without the doubts and concerns of my inner voice. No one else needs to tell me someone knows better. Just look where that has gotten me this far. Another words I found me on my own and I'm comfortable with who she is. No more control freaks. I want an equal shake/voice in the relationship. Then again if I do mess up someone smack me with a print out of this page.
Emotionally unattached are only good in your twenties when you yourself are also emotionally unattached. Emotionally unattached are usually that way for awhile and there is very little you can do to change that. In the end you will probably wish you hadn't been involved. The one thing that they can teach you is that you can't change anyone in a relationship, but yourself.
And well one night stands serve no purpose other than their name. I guess at the time if you knew they were going to be one night stands you might not do it. Thankfully none of mine had required me to gnaw my arm off. Thank you whoever was looking out for me those very happy nights .
We all get to where we need to be it just takes some of us longer to get there. And maybe sometimes a movie joking and making fun of the process gets us there a little bit faster. Live and learn and let your past be a beacon to move away from the mistakes you made and to help you grow into the person that will make you an awesome partner in the future.