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When Being UnAshamed to be Yourself Can Benefit Others

Updated on July 8, 2014
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Pride isn't Such a Bad Thing

In my own life, I am aware of the benefits of living in a country such as New Zealand, that embraces diversity and celebrates it. Where being female doesn't preclude you from the top job (many years before the USA even had Hillary running!), where being a set of gay country singing twins makes you (and your sister) local heroes, where there are three recognised National Languages - two of which MUST be on government signs at all times - Te Reo Maori and English - NZSL is a little harder to put on a physical picture sign!

I'm also acutely aware that not every one is so lucky. Sure, until very recently I couldn't marry my same sex wife - but I can go about my life being an out gay woman and no one blinks an eye.....much. Yet, a little twitchy eye isn't anything to complain about - not everyone understand gay people...I get that. At least, I'm legally able to be myself in public, I'm not threatened with death JUST because someone THINKS I'm gay and the law says "Kill em!". I can be me, and be out with my wife and no one gives two hoots - I'm very very lucky.

Yet, Not All Of Us Can Say The Same

I'm so acutely aware of the fact that anywhere else, I may not have the same benefits, rights or even my life, that I realised that there are plenty of people like me out there, but who think that they are alone - there is no one to care for them, because of the way they were born.

In realising this, I've come to the conclusion that one way I can do something about this from my little corner of the world is ebooks. Weird, I know. But most people have access to some books, or even ebooks. Ebooks make it easier for them to 'hide' the book - given no-one has to see you 'buy' it, and it's there. You can delete it if required, and Heck - Amazon will hold it in your account so you can re-download it if neccesary.

So my current project is to create an ebook for queer women world wide - to know they are not alone, that it does get better, and that people in countries with more benefits and rights are made aware of those countries where there are people just like us, who have no rights to be themselves, who face death or 'corrective rape' just for being gay.

Education is what makes the world change - and if I can educate others about the differences in human rights for people like ourselves, then slowly, maybe we can start changing the world?

Yet, I cannot do this alone. Facebook groups have been a wonderful help, and I have met some incredible people who have been willing to share their stories with me, to assist in getting this book out, and personal. Making it real for those involved. People in my life have been wonderful and supportive of my need, and desire to make this happen. And, now, I'm offering up the chance to you all.

You are proud of who you are? Great - be that you are a queer woman (queer - to cover all those who label themselves, and those who don't), or a friend/family of a queer woman - you are welcomed to share your stories with me. I am happier to send out an email interview if you wish to do that - and you will be, what do you say? Help out a fellow queer or 2 million?

Let me know!.

My email ( please add something to say it's about the book!...It gets lost otherwise)


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    • jlpark profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from New Zealand

      Awesome, Laura, I will await your email!

      I think that it's true - "not family, but a well loved in-law" - I agree. Many of my closest friends need this button! People (like an in-law of mine did) think that because I'm gay, I only hang with gay people - nope. I know...3 other couples that I would 'hang' with.

      Being not afforded the same fairness isn't something new, unfortunately. I guess - and I'm not trying to make us sound like the best thing since sliced bread - when you are a minority who has only recently had to fight for the most basic of rights (not to be thought mentally ill for being gay etc), and is still fighting for equality, that you get to be aware that you need to treat everyone equally - we as a collective LGBT group have experienced the un-fairness and it would be hypocritical of us to give that type of experience to others.

      But as a majority, I guess, those who do not know gay people and are not gay themselves, they may not realise that is what they are doing.

      I say this with the upmost respect. I am coming from a minority (LGBT) point, and a majority (White European) point - I come from country with a bicultural heritage - and have experienced the love and support of the indigienous people (Maori) as a NZ European wanting to be a part of their culture, and the racism that I hear on occasion from a group of people who do not feel the same way.

      I believe we are all equal, and that our differences are what make the world, and life, an interesting place. I'm glad I've met a great hubber to talk with! (off to read more of yours now)

    • LauraD093 profile image

      Laura Tykarski 

      5 years ago from Pittsburgh PA

      I enjoyed this. I will be e-mailing shortly in regards to your request. My closest friend since childhood Kelly is a gay female and as two book-ends one straight one gay we have had many occasions to compare her rights in the U.S. to my own. Most of my adult life has been spent "socially" within the gay community although I am hetero-sexual . On my fortieth birthday I was gifted with a huge button which read "Not family but a well-loved In-law!" I've never felt excluded or made to feel different -Kelly put into straight social situations (my maid-of-honor) etc hasn't been afforded the same fairness. It has throughout the past 30+ years infuriated me .


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