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When Is Rape OK??? Viral Facebook Post!

Updated on March 26, 2013
For more info on Jacqueline Goodchilds, this study and its validity with regard to this picture, please refer to
For more info on Jacqueline Goodchilds, this study and its validity with regard to this picture, please refer to

Is Rape Ever OK?

Many people via social media, particularly Facebook are posting and re-posting a poll that was taken among teens in regard to rape. The title of the Poll reads "When Is Rape Okay?" However, looking deeper, particularly into the actual question asked among the teens, the question actually asks; "Is is all right if a male holds a female down and physically forces her to have sex if..."

Following the unfinished question are choices given in which percentages are put towards the answers from both male and female students. The Questionnaire itself stems from an alleged 1978 survey of high school students administered by a Jacqueline Goodchilds. Some of the conditions to the proposed question include;

  • she gets him excited sexually?
  • she lets him touch her above the waist?
  • they have dated for a long time?

Many comments on the poll contain remarks of dismay, disbelief and shock. Perhaps largely due to the percentage of responses that seem to 'OK' such a heinous act. For instance, as the figure displays, a high percentage of female students(42%) agree that if she gets her male counterpart excited, then it is OK for him to force himself upon her for sex.

Most people on Facebook and other forums are responding with emotions instead of rationale. For instance, the rational thinking person will clearly see that the test is somewhat bias in that it doesn't give a choice for 'rape not being ok'. Furthermore, the survey doesn't really ask if rape is ok. Instead, it asks if it is ok for a male to force himself upon a female given certain conditions. This is a very different question, and here's the proof.

Rape is a very heartbreaking, hurtful, morally wrong and criminal act. According to the definition of rape via; rape is any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person. But wait a minute, to grant perspective in perhaps playing devil's advocate, let's take a closer look at this meaning.

Some people choose to have what is called 'rough sex', or 'kinky sex'. Some couples choose to, in order to spice things up a bit, engage in role play, where one of the more typical scenes involve the male counterpart engaging in a very aggressive and forceful act that leads to the sexual encounter. Does this constitute as rape? Some may say no because the women is actually in compliance and accepting of the gesture ultimately. Well, so are the female students in this case. At least the 42% that agree that if she arouses him sexually, then he is ok to force himself upon her in a sexual encounter. Many women have even agreed that they like a man to 'take control' and have even admitted to fantasizing about a man just forcing himself upon her, throwing her against a wall and/or having his way with her. The fine line here is willingness and unwillingness. So perhaps it is safe to say that if she is willing to be forced upon, then it isn't rape anymore.......or is it? The question then may not be; "Is rape ever ok?", but instead; "when is rape actually rape?"

These astonishing statistics have many people placing blame in all sorts of areas, and deriving excuses for the results. However, the fact remains that the numbers show what they show. Whether or not it is agreed upon really isn't the issue. Instead, the real issue may be on how to educate youngsters more on sex and the okays and not okays in which is entailed in the act. Sex among teens have been around for ages, so there is basically no denying it nor ignoring it. It is up to rational adults to hit the subject head on and offer tools of advice, knowledge and wisdom about the natural thing that is sex. These same rational adults must also not look at such results in disgust, but instead take such vital information and use it as a learning tool, for both adult and adolescents.

For Further assessment, see part II of this article: When Is Rape OK? Part II-What Does The Bible Say?


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    • profile image

      Richard Rider 

      4 years ago

      1. The "poll" is a misrepresentation of what was asked, and what the answers were. To see more, go to this rather objective link:

      2. If you had asked a classroom of squirrelly high school kids "2 + 2 = ?" (with no consequence for the validity of the answer), I can ASSURE you that some wise asses would intentionally give the wrong answer -- the more outlandish, the better. Make it a sex-related question (I know -- rape is not about sex), and the bogus answers would increase. I would STRONGLY suspect that such is the case here.

    • Breatheeasy3 profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from USA

      Thank you all for your wonderful insight and commentary

    • peeples profile image


      5 years ago from South Carolina

      Wow, Wow, Wow! Quite amazing what they approved of. What is even more amazing in my opinion is that adults see these results and instead of using it as an opportunity to teach many in the comments from the link I looked at were talking about teaching abstinence. This is ignoring the problem and has and never will help the issue. Voted up.

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      See, this is exactly what's wrong with our culture right now.

      We've villainized the WORD "Rape" but not actually the act. So when one person says "Forced to have sex" we have a bunch of people saying "It's not REALLY rape" or indeed "It's just rough sex".

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      "For instance, the rational thinking person will clearly see that the test is somewhat bias in that it doesn't give a choice for 'rape not being ok'. "

      No, the rational-thinking person would clearly see that 1) "holding a woman down and physically forcing them to have intercourse" is actually a reasonable definition of the word 'rape', and 2) a respondent to this survey can easily express "rape is never okay" by simply answering 'no' to every one of the questions.

      You've somehow gotten it in your head that, when sex gets forceful, or the guy plays a dominating role, that the other partner is being "physically forced to have sex" Nope. The woman may be having forces applied to her during sex, but she's not being forced to have it. If her participation is involuntary, then it's rape. If she's voluntarily playing out a control/submission fantasy, then it's not.

      The survey does nothing to imply that the sex is consensual. I expect that if they'd replaced the words "holds a female down and physically forces her to have sex" with "rapes a woman", there would have been way fewer 'yes' answers. But that wouldn't mean that this survey overestimates real pro-rape sentiments. It would only show that the students understand the stigma of the word, but don't fully understand its meaning.


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