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When "Keeping it Real" Goes Wrong...Since When Honesty Is An Excuse to Be A...

Updated on March 15, 2012

You Know What I Meant...

Oh, how I love that skit on the Chappelle Show! But anyway, have you heard these following lines: "I'm just keeping it real!", "I keep it 100", or "You just have to accept what I say because I stay keeping it real", "I'm just an honest (dude/girl)" or "I tell it like it is". Chances are, you probably heard it all before either amongst your fellow peers or even those reality shows (which I admit is my guilty pleasure). But do you also notice that the individuals who do claim that they are "keeping it real" every single chance they get are the ones who either don't or use it as an excuse to say how they feel without considering other's feelings?

Do not get me wrong, being honest is a great quality to have in both your friendships and relationships. It lets friends, family or significant other know that you are trustworthy as opposed to someone who is deceptive. I totally understand that aspect of any type of relationship. In addition, when you truly love and care about someone, you should be honest with them. However, it does matter how you are able to assert your thoughts or feelings towards others. There is a difference between expressing to someone what your thoughts and feelings are and just being either a d-bag or a b---h about it under the guise of "keeping it real".

Being real about your thoughts and feelings with someone does not mean belittling them. And personally, I am tired to people using that line of "keeping it real" to justify this. There is difference between giving someone constructive criticism, which purpose serves to help that person do better in something, and just being overtly critical. And what I mean by being overtly critical is that that person (who is receiving the criticism) feels bad about themselves as a result, while the person who claims to "keep it real" feels like they they are justified because in their mind, they are right. Quite the contraire, because it makes that person look self-righteous and has to make others feel bad in order for them to feel better about themselves.

In addition, if a person is so concerned with "keeping it real" with others, they should also be concerned with "keeping it real" with themselves. So many times, people like that tend to point the finger at others and quick to say that person's characteristics in such a negative light, that they forget to check themselves. Whenever someone wants to criticize others is often because of how they really feel: inadequate. It could be because they themselves were often criticized or abused by either people who they love or thought they loved. It could also be that a traumatic experience in their life that resulted in the urge to regain power through victimizing others. While it is unfortunate that a person has to ever go through such circumstances, it is not give a person a reason to treat others like crap. If that is the case, that person has to look within themselves and learn how to deal with their issues before ever being quick to critique others. Because after all, we are all human beings.


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