When The Abuse is Behind Closed Doors

Not all relationships are full of love or even trying to fix the relationship.  How many couples out there are out in public with smiles on and speaking with one another and when you are at home, you barely look at each other?  There’s abusive speech, shoving, pushing, lying, cheating and sneaking around to name only a few.

We naturally because of our human pride and not wanting people to pry know how to hide grief on our faces.  Outside people can’t see the sadness that exists behind those eyes. Others cannot see how mentally and physically drained you are.  It is so unfortunate that you won’t talk or seek help.  Actually you shun help and avoid talking. Even making those you may choose to speak with swear to secrecy.

This has been proven to alter moods, bring up feeling of distress and anger. This is continually watered by hurtful continued talk, and the biggest is the lines of communication are terminated.

This often leads to depression. Long periods of unhappiness, losing interest, not able to cope in situations you used to handle, feelings of restless and agitated and even difficulty getting to sleep or sleeping to much. 

Some are left to wonder, is it time to move on.  They learn their lives have changed.  Their mates/partners wants and needs only suit themselves. They see it’s not their love nor help their mate want or cares for. Those dreams of love are only left as a dream. The inspiration of wanting to go places with this person, they thought only the two of them shared has all but disseminated. The main key in their relationship seems lost.

You look in the mirror and that once vivacious face now has a build up of pain. There is little laughter and many days and nights of pain.  You cry as you pray for relief. You think to yourself if you could rewrite the script of your life you definitely would take out that part. But, you make no progress in making changes to better the situation for yourself. You continue to go through your many travels in life with a smile on your face when there is pain in your heart. In between your feelings of distress, your mate gives you a shine of light here and there.  You hold out thinking maybe there’s hope when really your two hearts no longer match.

You can’t seem to let go of those thoughts of yesterday when you were happy to be in love. You were happy to be with that person. Now the sound of your voice is irritating and so is theirs to you. You wonder does the word, I do, mean I won’t love you or I won’t try. You are looking for an answer still without talking it out with anyone. All your thoughts and inner feelings are still kept built up inside only shared by you.

The problem is this is a form of abuse and we have to know the signs. This occurs when the dominate one in the relationship, through emotional or physical abuse creates feeling of fear or alter the way you would normally have lived your life. Trust your gut feeling, if you think you are, then know you are!

What do you do? Seek Help!! I can’t express the importance of finding someone to take some of your load off.  Someone to help sort your feelings out and can assist with getting you the help you need. Go to your place of worship and tell someone.

Here is a website that asks thought provoking questions to ask yourself if you are being abused. http://marriage.about.com/cs/domesticviolence/ht/beingabused.htm why not just take a chance and see how you would answer any of these questions.

Please never think you have to conquer this all alone. There’s always a better way. More than that, there is always help for you.