- Gender and Relationships
When Your Secrets Are Revealed : Should You Trust A Friend With Your Darkest Secrets
Sharing secrets with our friends, is like being a part of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Your are sworn to secrecy and promise not to say a word. You share your weaknesses, relationship woes, fears and are confident that they will not use them against you. Not sharing secrets makes the bond between both of you a life-long commitment. What both of you share can be endless; talks last for hours. Both of you have developed an understanding that you will not kiss and tell.
The general population believes that women only share their deepest, darkest secrets with each other. Statistics show that men also share secrets with there best buddy. They to discuss relationships, finances and share their hopes and dreams. Secrets are share by both young and old alike there isn't any age limit.
Sharing your deepest thoughts, hopes and desires with a friend is witty; but it also builds a lasting bond with each other. You are building your friendship on trust. Sharing secrets helps you understand the other person.
Are you concerned about the person that you are sharing your secrets with?
Test the waters and see how reliable and trustworthy they are. If you find that your secret has leaked, re-evaluate the friendship. If the person passes the test, they are definitely trustworthy enough to be your friend.
Guideline To Sharing Secrets
If a friend shares a secret they are trusting you to confidentiality. Do not disclose the secret with anyone, this is between you and the person that releases the information.
If the secrets are harmful; do not get the itch to share it with another. It could definitely destroy the friendship.
Don't beg a friend to tell you their secret, when they are ready to tell you they will.
Do not run your mouth like a babbling brook at the beginning; test the strength of the friendship first. Disclosing to much information could be costly in the end.
Respect your friends privacy. Although another source may have already said something about them. It is not your place to bring up what you heard. Wait for your friend to disclose what they would like for you to know. Do not probe or inquire him/her.
If your friendship has taken another direction. Never share those secrets both of you had together. It will show the other person how trustworthy you are even though the friendship may no longer exist.
The secrets that both of you share are treasures given to one another. They are not to be blabbed about town, used against another person or told to the person that they are with. It is a priceless gift that is tucked away and entrusted to you for an eternity. A true friend will embrace you, not pass judgement or use your secret to make themselves look better. They understand you and should you decided to ask for advice, they will lovingly give it to you without any questions asked. They will defend you when you are in trouble and tell you when you are wrong. But a true friend will take those secrets that you have shared and tuck them away for nobody else to hear about or know.
The cost of divulging secrets? A friendship. The cost of true friendship? Priceless.
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