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When You're Trying Too Hard

Updated on June 13, 2019
EvieSparkes profile image

Evie Sparkes is a published novelist, content writer, and company director from the UK.

When You Think He's Too Good For You

If you are starting from a point of inferiority then you may feel the need to prove yourself worthy. You might feel that you have to work 24/7 at keeping him interested. You don't take on-board the fact that he chose to be with you. Just because you feel he's out of your league, doesn't mean he feels the same.

It's possible to see yourself differently than the way others see you. We look at ourselves all of the time. We become accustomed to our own face and bored with it. We are the way that we are. We don't see all of the amazing qualities we possess because they are just part of us. To others, your wit or your intelligence might be a real turn-on.

Working to keep a guy interested is hard work, it can become exhausting and in the end takes all of the pleasure away from the whole experience.

No-one is too good for you. Let's get that straight from the get-go. You are deserving of anything and everything. If he's with you, then there's a pretty good chance that he's into you.

If you constantly work too hard for it, he will let go a little. He won't necessarily realise it either. I'm not saying we should always looks to be a challenge because that's hard work too. What I'm really saying is that it's important to just be yourself and go with the flow.

You Think Relationships Are Supposed to be Hard

You have this mis-guided notion that relationships are supposed to be hard. Perhaps you've had a bad relationship in the past and you've been left with the over-riding feeling that being in love takes lots of hard work. You think that maintaining something good is improbable but the only way it's even possible is to prove your worth so that he validates it in some way and you feel a little sense of victory. If you carry on like this, eventually he will stop validating and you will continue to work harder and harder in order to force it out of him.

You Have an Agenda

Maybe you are desperate for a relationship and you think he's the one for you when what you should really be doing when you first meet someone is having fun. Going into something with a hidden agenda is going to make you work to get to the point of disaster, or in the very least, his decreasing attention. You might go over the top trying to show him how amazing you are. You'll exaggerate all of your good points to the point that this imaginary version of you becomes impossible to live up to. In the end he will see the real you. It's unrealistic to think you can maintain the enhanced version he's been getting.

You Stalk His Online Profile

Big, big mistake. This will become mentally draining. You will question every like and comment he makes, or is made to him. Our online presence isn't real, it's virtual. The people that like our posts, pics and comments probably wouldn't even say hi if they passed us in the street. Just because that gorgeous blonde liked his comment and hearted it, doesn't mean he's going to run off with her anytime soon.

I have always avoided looking at anyone's profile page. If I no longer have contact with someone, I won't go near it, ever! In fact social media as a form of communication pretty much sucks unless it's for business.

If his interest is waning then you might be tempted to scroll through his virtual life to find out if there is someone else but it will make you miserable and you'll start seeing things that aren't there. Don't actively hunt for something that might hurt you.

Is He Good Enough For You?

The question you should be asking yourself is not 'am I good enough?' but 'Is he good enough for me?'

Stop trying to be something you are not. Start being all that you are. Have fun and hope for the best, that's my motto in life.

Relationships are made tougher these days with social media and a lack of will power to STOP LOOKING. I can tell you with confidence, that not looking at anyone else's profile will make for a happier you.


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