- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
When family uses family
Author: W. K. Hayes
Avoid being used by family
Relationships are very complicated. Even worse, one sibling will become lax in their responsibilities and they will begin pulling on their siblings love to milk them for money, shelter and things that cost money. After a while, that sibling's lack of responsibility puts a strain on the relationship until there is not one left worth trying for.
The same thing happens in a marriage. If the man is working all the time while his wife does nothing to contribute to the family, the man will soon resent her and the love will fade. The same is also true of women with men that do not work.
It takes teamwork to make a family work. Any good relationship is about helping one another. Families need to be there, for one another and work together. Unfortunately, some family members take advantage of this.
Foolishly, I made the mistake of paying my brother's rent for five months while he looked for a job, which, he never did. Finally, after that time, I told him the free ride was over. I went in debt trying to give him a fighting chance while he spent day after day playing video games and making excuses for why he didn't work.
As for my, other brother, I tried helping him any way I could but his continual lies became more than I could bear until I distanced myself from him. This was never what I wanted but it became necessary.
Family lacks in being a family anymore. However, sad it is very true. Most have forgotten what family is or how important it is to have family. Family should be able to count on one another but such is not the case, it seems.
All too often, family does not exist, in this day and age thanks to, drugs, laziness, and selfish interests. If you see this endless cycle of self-destructive behaviour on the behalf of your family members...pull away from them or they will take you for everything and leave you with nothing.
As for ways of mending a family, there really is no way to fix a family, per say and hoping for better behavior out of a family member by helping them, time and time, again will lead nowhere. Unless that person makes drastic changes and each family member learns to respect their family by taking care of themselves, and their loved ones, it will not work.
Some people refer to these problems as crutches…but when the loving family member becomes the crutch, it will drain them until they are no longer able to ebar the load. Love each other, look out for one another, but never use that love against each other.
As adults, we struggle every day with paying bills and taking care of our own families. Trying to support an adult is a fool's errand. Laziness is an addiction and just like any drug, if you enable it, the addiction will remain.