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When His Ex Girlfriend Keeps Coming Around

Updated on February 14, 2016

When His Ex Girlfriend Keeps Coming Around

When His Ex Girlfriend Keeps Coming Around

You are in a new found relationship with a wonderful guy. However, there is one problem, his ex girlfriend keeps on calling him and showing up at his house, despite his protest for her to stop calling and coming around. He is cordial and tries to keep the peace between he and his ex, so he doesn't let his anger rear it's ugly head when she calls or comes around. He makes pleasant conversations with her, they even joke about the past when they were together.

You always become angry whenever you hear that your boyfriend is talking to his ex; and nothing you tell him about how wrong it is absorbs into his mind, in fact he thinks that you're overreacting over it; But, letting go and trusting him to handle the situation with his ex in his own way might be the best thing for you to do. Although, there are issues when your partner can still have feelings for his ex and in that case, you should have an in-depth talk with your boyfriend about the time and attention he is giving to his ex and the fact that you just don't feel comfortable with it.

Confronting his ex girlfriend in a calm manner is possible if you don't bring your temper into it, which might be highly unlikely in many cases, where many have ended up in shouting matches, hair pulled out and blackened eyes while sitting in the back of a policeman's squad car after you have been read your Miranda rights. Without causing a scene tell your boyfriend that he should end all contact with his ex, before someone is seriously hurt physically or emotionally.

Whether negative or positive, your boyfriend and his ex share a strong history together; and sometimes feelings just aren't resolved overnight. They may have been through so much together and being around each other stirs up old those feelings. Feelings of romance, love, resentment or disappointment, none which is fair for you. Therefore, getting to the core of his true feelings for his ex has to come to light so that you will know where to go from there; and where you stand in his life.

In order for your relationship to perservere, he will have to quit all communication with his ex cold turkey and devote all of his time with you. If that is something he does not want to do, then you have your answer and nothing should prevent you from moving on to find a boyfriend whose faithful and not attached to an ex girlfriend or ex wife.

Sometimes there is nothing else you can do about a boyfriend stuck on his ex, but give him his freedom so that he can go back to her if he chooses. If the relationship he has with you is valuable to him and he wants it to work out, but his ex is still a hindrance or he does not know how to stop her from contacting him. He's still dealing with old feelings for her, the two of you will need to seek counseling from a relationship therapist.

It is also a problem when you end up on the back burner to an ex whose in distress or she's just needing your boyfriends company. If your boyfriend doesn't have priorities and he doesn't make you his one and only concern, you really don't need a guy like this in your life and you should be spending your time searching for a guy who knows what he wants.


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    • Affinity2010 profile imageAUTHOR

      Leslie Trotter 

      7 years ago from New Orleans, La

      That's the best thing any woman or man can do if they are faced with a girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse who is putting them on the back burner for an ex.

    • styles4luv profile image


      7 years ago



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