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When nothing seems to add up?!

Updated on January 4, 2014

Welcome Readers! :)

Congrats to my readers on the New year! Now typcially the new year makes us think of starting over or at least doing something different. This is the time of year that A LOT of relationships have a major falling out. No need to panic because I have some advice that may help you! It goes without saying that relationships are one of the hardest things in life to maintain. Although when you have constant problems and on/off breaks in the relationship is it really helping? Not a chance. When you agrue with someone it is healthy because your sharing thoughts but it becomes problematic when your attacking or using verbal threats or hateful words. So lets jump to the point shall we? When your relationship (either exclusive or on the record) gets to the point where your not seeing each other, than snapping right back into the relationship a few days later, I am going to say this right now you're missing the point. Before I go on I want to state for the record I am not a medical professional and my advice shouldn't replace a medical professional advice. My advice is OPINION based and taken from experience, books, and basic pyschology. With that being said, please don't leave hateful comments at the bottom of the page because those will be deleted. If you would like to give your feedback either positive or negative please do so in a respectful manner. Thank you. Now lets get to the advice solutions!


Advice Solution #1

When you can't seem to reach an agreement on anything anymore and their behavior is just so appalling to you, take a step back and ask yourself this. Is it them or you? Maybe you're starting to see things differently because your overall feelings for this person has changed. That doesn't always add up to a bad thing. If it is little stuff they do that gets under your skin then remember nobody is perfect and their is no such thing as the perfect relationship. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and take one for the team. Although on the other hand, if it serious things about their behavior towards you or it is affecting your self-esteem in any way then that has to be addressed. If you already had this conversation and you was not heard than you need to keep in mind that your self-esteem should never be lowered just to be with someone. If they can't accept and love you as you are than they don't deserve you. Simple as 1,2,3.


Advice Solution #2

This goes without saying but still needs to be said. Know when to pick your battles. A lot of break ups are over simple little disputes that could be solved with an asprin and a clear head! If the issues that are troubling you keep reoccuring and almost haunting you then you need to ask yourself this. Are they good or bad feelings? If it a good feeling like your pumping yourself up to ask your loved one a question than do it. Or you just really want to spend more time with them. IF the feelings are always bad and troubling to you, than you need to stop and listen to yourself. What are YOU telling yourself to do? If you wasn't you and your friend or family was going through what you are what would you advice them? Sometimes we need to listen to ourselves because its our best warning! With that said, am I saying to go start some trouble? Noway. I am saying do what is best for you. Just do it in away that doesn't end with someone in handcuffs.


Advice Solution #3

This is my all-time favorite! Love vs War! What is the difference? Love and war are like husband and wife or twins. They just go together. You can't have one without the other being near by. Now how we love and war with each other determines the outcome. If we love and war fairly, avoiding playing dirty or hitting below the line than it usually ends up very well. If we are always at war with the person we love more than your actually enjoying being together than ask yourself what has changed? Is it that you have grown apart? Or that your sick of the same routine? Or is it that you can't seem to understand each other anymore? Well you have to remember love and war have a very fine line. So keep in mind that if your consistently feeling like your void of emotions or your fed up than you need to either fix it or leave. Their is no in between that will just confuse you and hurt both of you.


Final Advice

I wanted to keep this article short and to the point. When your going back and forwarth with each other you have to find out what the REAL problem is. Rather it be trust or hurt feelings, repressed feelings, or anger. Its your job to solve it. If you keep going out and then in one day your going to wake up and realize that you don't where you are anymore. Meaning your going to get lost. You have to either make a decision and live by it or walk out for good. The lines of hurt do exsist and too often the wounds are self inflicted. You can't keep hurting yourself or offering yourself up because want to make others happy. It is about you. Your life. Your control. If it can be fixed try it out. If it is love than in the very end it will still be there. Love never dies, it just can be suppressed. So if you truly feel their is real love between the both of you by all means fight for it. If it is not obtainable than it is time to walk away. Simple as 4,5,6. I hope you enjoyed this article and found the advice somewhat useful. Until next time readers ciao.

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    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Good advice for the New Year! Happy New Year to you!