- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
When You Love Someone Who Doesn't Love You
When You Love Someone
Do You Need to Let Love Depart
When Love Isn't Worthy of You
How many times have you been in a relationship and given your all and never gotten an ounce back? You do everything you can for the person you love, but they never do anything for you.
He doesn't hug you or kiss you or want to be seen in public with you. She takes everything you do for granted and keeps wanting more but never gives you anything back. These are relationships that should make you run quickly.
In this day and age men and women seem to have forgotten what it means to love unconditionally. There is no reason why anyone should feel unloved or less than perfect to their mate.
If you are dating a married person my question is why? Do you feel you're not worthy of being loved one hundred percent and need to be shared with someone's spouse? But they love me you claim. Do they really love you? If they are willing to cheat on their spouse with you then what makes you think they won't do it to you?
I cherish my husband every single day and we love each other without conditions. Do we always agree? No but we don't argue either. We talk to each other like two adults should.
If you are constantly complaining to everyone about your significant other, then you need to take a hard long look at your relationship because those people you are complaining to are wondering why you don't just get out of it and leave that person alone if they make you that unhappy. They get sick of hearing it every single day of their life how unhappy you are.
Do you expect your significant other to do everything for you and yet you do nothing for them? Well if you do then let me just warn you that eventually there will be someone who will appreciate them and you won't have them anymore.
People get tired of just giving love and never getting love in return. If you are a giver and not getting in return then you need to find someone that treasures you for everything you are worth.
Love yourself first so that you may love others better. If you can't love yourself and do not feel worthy of love then it will be very hard to find someone to love you.
Love Yourself First
Keep in Mind it's Not You
A lot of times men and women who are in toxic relationships will feel like it's their fault. Believe me it's not. I spent two ten year periods of my life, loving two separate men that I married, but they never loved me.
The first one thought love was abuse. He abused me physically and mostly mentally. I was called names, made to feel worthless and I actually believed he would change. Well the problem is he was never going to change and I finally became the wiser and left.
The second one thought women should be subservient. I should just about bow at his feet. He would get up in the morning and sit on the couch and wait to be served breakfast. When I was near the end of this relationship I asked him to name 10 things he loved about me. He was silent. That is when I woke up to reality that it was never going to get better then that and if I wanted to live like this the rest of my life then either be worthless according to him or move on. I chose to move on.
What Love Is Not
Love is not hitting, punching, calling names. Love is not financially abusive to the point you have no money and your partner controls it all. Love is not being able to be with your friends or family.
Abuse is not love. Many times in relationships, they person will be so sweet in the beginning, until they know they have you reeled in. Then the abuse starts. It might just be punching the wall first to scare you and if you would rather him punch the wall then you, it's time to go. No one should try to scare you just to prove something.
Love is not sex. If you think your partner loves you just because they want to have sex with you, they can have sex with anybody it doesn't mean they love you.
If you are afraid to come home or have to walk on egg shells around your house because you don't know what will set your partner off, its time to leave.
You can not stay in this toxic relationship or they will beat you down to nothing. You will be damaged. You will feel worthless. Get out as soon as the first abusive behavior starts. They will come and say they are sorry, but they aren't.
What is Love
First of all true love does not come with conditions. You shouldn't have to change your hair, the way you dress or how you act. If these things are unpleasing to your partner then nothing will change his or her mind.
The ancient Greeks called love “the madness of the Gods.” Modern psychologists define it as it the strong desire for emotional union with another person. But what, actually, is love. It means so many different things to different people. Songwriters have described it, “Whenever you’re near, I hear a symphony.” Shakespeare said, “Love is blind and lovers cannot see.” Aristotle said, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
Biologically, love is a powerful neurological condition like hunger or thirst, only more permanent. We talk about love being blind or unconditional, in the sense that we have no control over it. (The physicist)
The answer remains elusive in part because love is not one thing. Love for parents, partners, children, country, neighbor, God and so on all have different qualities. Each has its variants – blind, one-sided, tragic, steadfast, fickle, reciprocated, misguided, unconditional. At its best, however, all love is a kind a passionate commitment that we nurture and develop, even though it usually arrives in our lives unbidden. (the philosopher)
Love is patient, love is kind, love is spending enough time with that person, but leaving enough time to grow as an individual.
Love is accepting your flaws, yet helping you to improve them but never with discouragement or with vial talk. We all have faults, but if someone loves you, they can see past your faults and see your needs.
If your love is required to have conditions, then it will be an unhealthy relationship. People do not change because you asked them. People change because they want to and because they love you enough to change their flaws.