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When You Love Someone Who Doesn't Love You

Updated on March 21, 2017

When You Love Someone

Do You Need to Let Love Depart

When Love Isn't Worthy of You

How many times have you been in a relationship and given your all and never gotten an ounce back? You do everything you can for the person you love, but they never do anything for you.

He doesn't hug you or kiss you or want to be seen in public with you. She takes everything you do for granted and keeps wanting more but never gives you anything back. These are relationships that should make you run quickly.

In this day and age men and women seem to have forgotten what it means to love unconditionally. There is no reason why anyone should feel unloved or less than perfect to their mate.

If you are dating a married person my question is why? Do you feel you're not worthy of being loved one hundred percent and need to be shared with someone's spouse? But they love me you claim. Do they really love you? If they are willing to cheat on their spouse with you then what makes you think they won't do it to you?

I cherish my husband every single day and we love each other without conditions. Do we always agree? No but we don't argue either. We talk to each other like two adults should.

If you are constantly complaining to everyone about your significant other, then you need to take a hard long look at your relationship because those people you are complaining to are wondering why you don't just get out of it and leave that person alone if they make you that unhappy. They get sick of hearing it every single day of their life how unhappy you are.

Do you expect your significant other to do everything for you and yet you do nothing for them? Well if you do then let me just warn you that eventually there will be someone who will appreciate them and you won't have them anymore.

People get tired of just giving love and never getting love in return. If you are a giver and not getting in return then you need to find someone that treasures you for everything you are worth.

Love yourself first so that you may love others better. If you can't love yourself and do not feel worthy of love then it will be very hard to find someone to love you.

Love Yourself First

Keep in Mind it's Not You

A lot of times men and women who are in toxic relationships will feel like it's their fault. Believe me it's not. I spent two ten year periods of my life, loving two separate men that I married, but they never loved me.

The first one thought love was abuse. He abused me physically and mostly mentally. I was called names, made to feel worthless and I actually believed he would change. Well the problem is he was never going to change and I finally became the wiser and left.

The second one thought women should be subservient. I should just about bow at his feet. He would get up in the morning and sit on the couch and wait to be served breakfast. When I was near the end of this relationship I asked him to name 10 things he loved about me. He was silent. That is when I woke up to reality that it was never going to get better then that and if I wanted to live like this the rest of my life then either be worthless according to him or move on. I chose to move on.

What Love Is Not

Love is not hitting, punching, calling names. Love is not financially abusive to the point you have no money and your partner controls it all. Love is not being able to be with your friends or family.

Abuse is not love. Many times in relationships, they person will be so sweet in the beginning, until they know they have you reeled in. Then the abuse starts. It might just be punching the wall first to scare you and if you would rather him punch the wall then you, it's time to go. No one should try to scare you just to prove something.

Love is not sex. If you think your partner loves you just because they want to have sex with you, they can have sex with anybody it doesn't mean they love you.

If you are afraid to come home or have to walk on egg shells around your house because you don't know what will set your partner off, its time to leave.

You can not stay in this toxic relationship or they will beat you down to nothing. You will be damaged. You will feel worthless. Get out as soon as the first abusive behavior starts. They will come and say they are sorry, but they aren't.

Iyanla"s Fixins

What is Love

First of all true love does not come with conditions. You shouldn't have to change your hair, the way you dress or how you act. If these things are unpleasing to your partner then nothing will change his or her mind.

The ancient Greeks called love “the madness of the Gods.” Modern psychologists define it as it the strong desire for emotional union with another person. But what, actually, is love. It means so many different things to different people. Songwriters have described it, “Whenever you’re near, I hear a symphony.” Shakespeare said, “Love is blind and lovers cannot see.” Aristotle said, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”

Biologically, love is a powerful neurological condition like hunger or thirst, only more permanent. We talk about love being blind or unconditional, in the sense that we have no control over it. (The physicist)

The answer remains elusive in part because love is not one thing. Love for parents, partners, children, country, neighbor, God and so on all have different qualities. Each has its variants – blind, one-sided, tragic, steadfast, fickle, reciprocated, misguided, unconditional. At its best, however, all love is a kind a passionate commitment that we nurture and develop, even though it usually arrives in our lives unbidden. (the philosopher)

Love is patient, love is kind, love is spending enough time with that person, but leaving enough time to grow as an individual.

Love is accepting your flaws, yet helping you to improve them but never with discouragement or with vial talk. We all have faults, but if someone loves you, they can see past your faults and see your needs.

If your love is required to have conditions, then it will be an unhealthy relationship. People do not change because you asked them. People change because they want to and because they love you enough to change their flaws.


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    • Nakia Deon profile image

      Nakia Deon 4 years ago

      Love...why does it have to be so confusing? I have been in every situation you have described. Except for the happy one.

    • FreddyDeLaSalle profile image

      FreddyDeLaSalle 5 years ago from Ohio

      It's all true but the hard part is learning how to love properly. If one is too 'nice' it can backfire. It is about respecting yourself and your partner and having strong barriers even though you are in a relationship.

    • EZFITNESS profile image

      EZFITNESS 5 years ago from Dallas,Texas

      I feel that's why when a lady find someone that truly love and want to treat them like a queen they find it hard to accept! !

    • NiaLee profile image

      NiaLee 5 years ago from BIG APPLE

      Yes Cheryl, that love has to be through you and your happiness, then you can love someone else.

      Always take the time to meditate so you rely to yourself, relate to yourself and sustain your self. Love is great, the most powerful feeling that create and accomplish every and anything

      We need to focus on ourselves to be a full person and be able to enjoy yourself, life and others and be able to love others.

      Love love love is the key, the way, the purpose.

      Love and peace to you.

    • Author Cheryl profile image

      Cheryl A Whitsett 5 years ago from Jacksonville, Fl

      Yes EZ true love is wonderful

    • EZFITNESS profile image

      EZFITNESS 5 years ago from Dallas,Texas


    • Author Cheryl profile image

      Cheryl A Whitsett 5 years ago from Jacksonville, Fl

      Dashingscorpio while I believe that yes you need a deal breaker to a certain extent in order to get someone to be attracted to you, once in a relationship a person should not put demands on another in order to be loved. Unconditional love does not mean having boundaries it means accepting a person as they are and not placing uncomfortable demands on someone for your own pleasure. Some men and women thrive on making their significant other miserable and although we do have a choice in every relationship there are many who choose to stay and be treated other than they are worth. Some people have no self worth and settle for anything. There are many women and men who stay in unhealthy relationships for a long time because of the children, because its not the right time to leave and for many other reasons. Some people choose unhealthy relationships because that is all they knew growing up. Everyone has a choice but not everyone chooses the right choice. There is such a thing as unconditional love but too many times people come with too many conditions in order to be in a relationship. Those people are just needy souls that need some good old therapy.

    • EZFITNESS profile image

      EZFITNESS 5 years ago from Dallas,Texas

      I feel that love is the key to life !!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 5 years ago

      If a person subscribes to the philosophy of Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself... then they aren't likely to stay in unhealthy relationships for very long. No matter what is going on in our relationship it is important to remember we are there by "choice". No one is "stuck" with anyone.

      Each of us (selects) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. People change when (they) want to change. You are responsible for your own happiness. Too many times people are quick to point the finger at the person they are with instead of trying to figure out why THEY chose them to begin with. Hopefully with experience comes wisdom and we learn to make better choices or ourselves. To say there is such a thing as "unconditional love" means to me that a person does not have any "deal breakers". Anyone who truly loves themselves has "deal breakers" and boundaries in my opion.

    • Author Cheryl profile image

      Cheryl A Whitsett 5 years ago from Jacksonville, Fl

      I totally agree these are important issues for people to understand. Love is about giving unconditionally always.

    • EZFITNESS profile image

      EZFITNESS 5 years ago from Dallas,Texas

      Now that is very bad that's is a terrible place to be !!!