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Find Love Where You Don’t Belong--Weird Places!!

Updated on April 22, 2012

After a three year relationship, I was back on the market. I thought it would be easy to find my next girlfriend, or lover, or, even one night stand. After all, walking down the street beautiful women seemed to be everywhere. But something happened I wasn’t meeting any of them. Each night it was the same thing, lonely, in my bed reminiscing of the days I had the company of my ex-girlfriend, when I could run my fingers through her hair and bite her soft lips, pathetic! I was out of practice, out of ideas, and every lonely night with lower and lower self confidence. I went to clubs with my friends, but it was the same old places with the same old buddies and no luck.

That’s when, on one lonely Sunday morning, I made an actual list of all the women I had been romantically involved with and thought about where and how we met. That’s when it appeared; the common denominator. It seemed I had met almost all my ex-lovers in odd places, in places where I felt out of place. Julie, at my first Bikram Yoga class, Angie at a small cowboy bar in Eastern Oregon, Alicia at a strange hippie fair, Melisa on a vacation to Bogota Colombia. It became clear, I had the most luck with the ladies when I was out of my comfort zone and not out with my pack of buddies or co-workers. I thought about this and wondered why that seemed to happen. I came up with the answer. In strange places, away from my normal routine, my normal friends, I was the unusual one, I was interesting and different.

I needed implement my new theory. I made an excuse one Thursday night, when my friends invited me to go out to the same old dive bar and I headed out by myself to a part of town that I wasn’t part of my routine. I wandered into a salsa bar that was offering free lessons before the floor was turned over to the DJ. I am not the dancing type, “Perfect!” I thought. I awkwardly struggled through the instructions when something interesting happened. The instructor had the participants switch dance partners every few minutes, I was required to dance with every single woman in the class. Not all the women were single, some came with their boyfriends but others were out with friends just trying something new. By the end of class I was on my own but with a group of girls that wanted to continue practicing. I obliged and found myself with three single women who wanted to dance. I got a phone number and an invitation to go to another class with Elena, a beautiful brunette the following Thursday.

There it was! I had a new philosophy on meeting women, and this is my advice to you. Think about who you are and where you “belong.” Are you a corporate lawyer who hangs out with a bunch of other corporate lawyers at the same martini bars and Starbucks every week? I say switch the routine up. Ditch your buddies for the weekend and sign up for line-dancing lessons, or just go to a dive bar where you feel out of place, make yourself conspicuously out of place so that a woman looks at you and thinks, “what the hell is that guy doing here? He looks interesting!” Are you a cowboy? Go to a Martini bar! Switch it up and watch the women turn there heads and notice that interesting guy who is out of place. Are you a lonely Harvard graduate? Where do you not belong? A hip hop club on the east side!

Does that sound too extreme? Its not! The more extreme the more likely you are of being spotted. They say that opposites attract and I find that to be true. You may believe that if you were to meet someone so different then you, you won’t have anything to talk about. But I challenge you to give it a try. You would surprised that there are intellectuals that like to dance hip-hop and there are cowgirls that write poetry. Besides if you don’t click you know how to meet more ladies! Just go where you don’t belong!

Language Mixed With Love: How To Really Learn A Foreign Language

Here is a good reason to try something new--maybe Mexico!e

Do any of you readers find this to be true? Tell us about it!

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    • PaulStaley1 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from With the wind---(or against it)

      Yeah, it is just plain fun to try new things, out of your routine--Thanks for stopping by bugslady!

    • bugslady8949 profile image


      10 years ago from The Bahamas

      when you try new things you meet new people, i am not looking for a realtionship just having fun. you did a great job on this hub and i hope you are happy, good luck!!

    • PaulStaley1 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from With the wind---(or against it)

      Yeah 29 confused and going to weird places, thanks for stopping by IN2Deep!

    • IN2Deep profile image


      10 years ago from USA

      So I guess if you know what your really looking for-It's not all that hard to find.You just have to be willing to put yourself out there. Ahh! To be 29 again.

    • PaulStaley1 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from With the wind---(or against it)

      Thanks for reading and commenting Heidesigns!

    • Heidesigns profile image


      10 years ago from North Carolina

      Honest and exhilarating!

    • PaulStaley1 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from With the wind---(or against it)

      Yeah izetti that is a genetic head turner!!! A sense of humor sure helps in awkward situations and gets you through the strange situations you should put yourself. Thanks for the comment.

    • izettl profile image


      10 years ago from The Great Northwest

      Absolutely love this advice. I was always a successful dater in my single years and I had a theory somewhat like yours as well. Mine came genetically though. I've always told people to find what is unique about them and accentuate it whenever and wherever possible. I am 6' tall so I "stuck out" wherever I went- lucky for me. It made me different and noticeable, which was great for my dating life.

      You also bring up something, a little more subtly, that one must be able to laugh at themselves when doing something out of their comfort zone.


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