Find Love Where You Don’t Belong--Weird Places!!
After a three year relationship, I was back on the market. I thought it would be easy to find my next girlfriend, or lover, or, even one night stand. After all, walking down the street beautiful women seemed to be everywhere. But something happened I wasn’t meeting any of them. Each night it was the same thing, lonely, in my bed reminiscing of the days I had the company of my ex-girlfriend, when I could run my fingers through her hair and bite her soft lips, pathetic! I was out of practice, out of ideas, and every lonely night with lower and lower self confidence. I went to clubs with my friends, but it was the same old places with the same old buddies and no luck.
That’s when, on one lonely Sunday morning, I made an actual list of all the women I had been romantically involved with and thought about where and how we met. That’s when it appeared; the common denominator. It seemed I had met almost all my ex-lovers in odd places, in places where I felt out of place. Julie, at my first Bikram Yoga class, Angie at a small cowboy bar in Eastern Oregon, Alicia at a strange hippie fair, Melisa on a vacation to Bogota Colombia. It became clear, I had the most luck with the ladies when I was out of my comfort zone and not out with my pack of buddies or co-workers. I thought about this and wondered why that seemed to happen. I came up with the answer. In strange places, away from my normal routine, my normal friends, I was the unusual one, I was interesting and different.
I needed implement my new theory. I made an excuse one Thursday night, when my friends invited me to go out to the same old dive bar and I headed out by myself to a part of town that I wasn’t part of my routine. I wandered into a salsa bar that was offering free lessons before the floor was turned over to the DJ. I am not the dancing type, “Perfect!” I thought. I awkwardly struggled through the instructions when something interesting happened. The instructor had the participants switch dance partners every few minutes, I was required to dance with every single woman in the class. Not all the women were single, some came with their boyfriends but others were out with friends just trying something new. By the end of class I was on my own but with a group of girls that wanted to continue practicing. I obliged and found myself with three single women who wanted to dance. I got a phone number and an invitation to go to another class with Elena, a beautiful brunette the following Thursday.
There it was! I had a new philosophy on meeting women, and this is my advice to you. Think about who you are and where you “belong.” Are you a corporate lawyer who hangs out with a bunch of other corporate lawyers at the same martini bars and Starbucks every week? I say switch the routine up. Ditch your buddies for the weekend and sign up for line-dancing lessons, or just go to a dive bar where you feel out of place, make yourself conspicuously out of place so that a woman looks at you and thinks, “what the hell is that guy doing here? He looks interesting!” Are you a cowboy? Go to a Martini bar! Switch it up and watch the women turn there heads and notice that interesting guy who is out of place. Are you a lonely Harvard graduate? Where do you not belong? A hip hop club on the east side!
Does that sound too extreme? Its not! The more extreme the more likely you are of being spotted. They say that opposites attract and I find that to be true. You may believe that if you were to meet someone so different then you, you won’t have anything to talk about. But I challenge you to give it a try. You would surprised that there are intellectuals that like to dance hip-hop and there are cowgirls that write poetry. Besides if you don’t click you know how to meet more ladies! Just go where you don’t belong!
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