ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Why Am I In The Friend Zone?

Updated on May 23, 2014

Neil Goldman, Friend Zone Escape

Keep in mind, Goldman is a fictitious character.  Escape is not typical.
Keep in mind, Goldman is a fictitious character. Escape is not typical. | Source

You're Too Aggressive

Nobody likes the hard sale. Demanding an answer to an invitation to lunch, reacting poorly to rejection or being inordinately persistent are off limits. No one wants to be in charge of your happiness or afraid you might go home and kill yourself just because they aren't sure about going out. That is way too much pressure. Be friendly and polite, not pushy. You catch more flies with honey. Also, learn to grow a thick skin. Life is filled with rejection, and if you are that angry at the word "no" you probably suck at life in general. Grow a pair.

You Suck At Life

I know your mom told you how special and awesome you are, but you should take it with a grain of salt. She loves your dirty draws. The people do not.

Maybe your issue is not hygiene. Maybe it is a general lack of ambition. If you are looking for a serious relationship, the person you want will likely not be interested in shaping and guiding another adult. If you end up in a relationship, your partner is probably an opportunist with designs on you.

Maybe you are one of those really rude people who mistakes a lack of tact for honesty. Love is unconditional, but relationships have terms. You can only say "Oh well, their loss" so many times before you realize the things you do aren't working.

Captain Friend Zone To The Rescue

Another classic friend zone character.  He had to become a smooth, debonair alter ego to get the girl.
Another classic friend zone character. He had to become a smooth, debonair alter ego to get the girl. | Source

You Don't Express Interest

So you like someone, but you find yourself hanging out all the time with nothing coming of it but friendship. You visit each other, go shopping together, but nothing has progressed. Sometimes you lash out by pulling passive aggressive stunts (i.e., I'm not going to answer the phone) but even if you are directly asked, "Is something wrong?" you will lie. You tell yourself you don't mind being a friend as long as you are around, but you do mind. You are just afraid of being rejected and losing access to the person altogether.

Tell them how you feel, and accept what they may say in the end. You do not want to be an emotional mess because you have been friends for years and the love of your life is in love with someone else. You also don't want to be the shoulder to cry on too often. It never feels good to idolize the person who treats you like an option. Stop living in limbo. Find out for yourself where you two stand and make a choice.

The Object of Your Affection Is a User

Maybe you are trying to sell your sweetie on the idea that being with you is a dream, so you do too much for him or her, and he or she is in love with the benefits, not you. It sucks to discover the person you want in your life just likes free lunch, but it happens. Females are usually guilty of this, but males are definitely not exempt. Women will take dinners and quality time freely and never take the relationship anywhere. Men usually abuse a friendship with a needy or insecure woman, simply because she is never going anywhere. Once you see you are in a one-sided situation, cut it off. A simple test you can do is to not call. If you receive a call in a couple of days and it is not to receive anything from you, you may not have a user.

Your Reputation Precedes You

Do you have a history of being a douchebag? Are your exes disgruntled with good reason? There is a chance your crush is fully aware of your track record and unwilling to subject themselves to such foolishness. Be honest with yourself about your past, and if you have some skeletons in your closet, consider being forthcoming. If you have, for instance, been physically violent in a relationship, but you are a recovering rage-a-holic, let it be known. Maybe you will miss out on being with someone, but there are plenty of people with checkered pasts who have found love. I mean, look at Kim Kardashian!

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)