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Why Are Eligible Black Men in Short Supply

Updated on September 22, 2009
glendoncaba profile image

Glendon and his wife have led church ministries, conducted empowerment seminars, and travelled to faraway places on business and vacation.

Eligible Black men are short.

No, I don’t mean physically. I mean that Black women, especially women in the church just can’t get a mate. And I fear two things are going to happen if this continues. Firstly, and this is my subjective opinion, lesbianism might very well increase as women turn to each other for emotional comfort. Bad news for the Christian church despite the new concept of family being touted by many liberal theologians. I mean the thing does not perpetuate the human race, and is unnatural.

The second danger is the unequal yoking. Taken to the extreme we are seeing a deliberate decision by many successful women to just find a man to mate and get and child. Just that. No permanence, no family ethics.

So why are men short? As I look around I don’t believe that men are short. Eligible men are in short supply. So we can address the imbalance by educating our boys to become achievers, and by persuading our women to marry below their social status. You still believe that a man and a woman married to each other is the best context in which to rear children? Right?

Source:  Wikimedia Commons.
Source: Wikimedia Commons.

Where are the ineligible bachelors? Two places. They are in prison. Let us rehabilitate and release them into the arms of love. Love is the best rehabilitation. The other place, the street corner watching life passing them by. Let us rescue them. Train them with employable skills, mentor them into success, and point them into the arms of love. I mean, it’s not that simple. But we have to do something or we will have a generation of loveless women, lonely women, or that tricky creature who is adept at stealing love. You know, bread eaten in secret and all that.

Yes people we will have to arrange some marriages soon or the Black race will become a herd of coke heads and gangsters hopping into the beds of overfed concubines. Just listen to the rap music or the dance hall DJs and scream in terror at what they glorify.

Then pray, really pray, that the Black man in the Diaspora will find himself. For when he does he will find himself a woman and call her his wife.


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    • Levertis Steele profile image

      Levertis Steele 5 years ago from Southern Clime


      Your point is one of the reasons some black women are not getting married. Have black women all of a sudden changed? Are they so different than they were when I got married a few decades ago? It seemed that all of my peers got married. All of the girls in my family got married during my generation. Most of us got married before 24. All of my siblings, close friends, and their spouses had children before my husband and I did. I was 28 when we had our first. Many family members and friends teased me and said I had a baby during my old age. Youngsters were pressured to marry during their early 20's. My mom and dad and all of their siblings married. All of their children married. My children's generation is slacking in marriage. We can blame the changes in time.

      We black people get excited like Chicken Little and blame ourselves for everything that goes wrong. Yes, it is our fault to an extent, but not all the way. Don't you think that ways of life, media portrayals, too many distractions, and an increase of promiscuous living--shacking, sex before marriage, everybody's doing it kind of thinking all play a part in how young people today feel about marriage? Youngsters watch the soap operas. What drama they behold! Everything goes. Youngsters go to the movies, watch other things on TV, read magazines, play video games, work and pay for cars, get around more, and are just exposed to so many distractions. It is like being a child in a big candy store. They do not know which way to go. They do not long for much. Everything is before them. When they view the media, they see everything from sex before their eyes on prime-time TV, drugs, alcohol, gang banging, illicit affairs, adultery, fornication, you name it! You turn on the TV and see 15-year olds faced with having sex, babies, forgot to use condoms, and you name it. I cannot name it all. The media and society in general affect the way people think. Youngsters are not ashamed to have illegitimate babies because it is all over TV, the Internet, and magazines. The rich and famous singers and movie stars do it! These are many youngsters' role models. It is not only black women who have some corrupt thinking; it is all of society. The world is corrupt.

      Some black women are faced with brothers, boyfriends, husbands, fathers, uncles and cousins in prison, on the streets, cheating, doing drugs, gang banging, etc.--so, some black men have problems that turn women off, too. This is enough to make these black women think that they are the only one in a relationship who knows how to use a brain.

      Now, we do have some fine black men and women who have it together! We do not want to make the mistake of stereotyping.

      My point is, yes, some black women can be difficult as some women in all races are, my goodness! Society is changing more than black women. Look around at other races and see changes. I don't see perfection anywhere. The world is corrupt. While your point is true in some cases, please look at the big picture.

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      MidnightSunshine 5 years ago

      Cost of living, lax ways of life, media portrayals, downsizing and stereotyping of black men, societal acceptance of promiscuous behaviors all play into their marriage disinterest.

    • profile image

      Levertis Steele 5 years ago

      @ Glendoncaba: You wrote, "Where are the ineligible bachelors? . . . . Let us rehabilitate and release them into the arms of love."

      Most of the released felons are NOT rehabilitated for two reasons: they do not want to be, and most prisons do not have an effective rehab program. Many, if not most, of these guys are repeat offenders; they return to prison. Most of them were repeat offenders before they went to prison the first time. How many times have we heard in the news that John Doe has a rap sheet of 15 burglaries, 8 spousal abuse charges, and 6 drug-related crimes? So, he was a repeat offender before he was imprisoned.

      Many women would not date such a person, but there are always daring ones who would. A man who is truly rehabilitated would live and behave like a real man as soon as his feet touches the ground. This type hits the ground rolling and keeps moving in the right direction. He would probably be a good husband and father. Have you ever seen a girl who was proud to be the woman of a notorious drug dealer? Pathetic. A woman needs to know the difference between a repeat offender and a truly rehabilitated man. (This could be a good hub project for someone who is interested.)

      Many women are afraid to date a convicted murderer, rapist, child abuser, and doers of other violent crimes. Our males need intervention before they are adults. Intervention needs to take place in the home when they are children. Fathers need to intervene and stay with their children. They need to father children with their wives only and not complicate things by strewing their seeds. What sense does it make when many men are running from child support? It is obvious that a man has enough challenges being husband and father of one home. Too many men “bite off more than they can chew,” and the children suffer for it. Fathers need to concentrate on raising their boys to be respectful and protective men, and their daughters to set standards, respect themselves, and act like ladies. Yes, it is good to be a strong woman, not domineering. The strength of ladies has brought many black families through storms of life. If a husband dies, a woman’s strength needs to take effect to guide her children. So, women are not masculine because they are strong. If they act like men and disrespect their husbands, then, that is another issue that needs attention.

      "As I look around I don’t believe that men are short. Eligible men are in short supply."

      When I read or hear that black men are in short supply, I look around and say, "I suppose they are more concentrated where I live." I agree with you 100% that black men are not in short supply, but eligible black men are. This really got my attention considering the many declarations that black women out number black men. Maybe they do, but black men are plentiful. Women may be seeking good men, but it must be understood that many men are not interested in marriage. It could be that they have not been exposed to enough good marriage examples.


      Color is a major issue, but it is not the only one. There are many white-skinned black people, so, why is there still an issue? Race, period, is an issue. Other features such as hair color and texture, eye color, form of nose, facial and body contours, size of feet, color of gums, dialect, and more. Unlike animals, human beings are "a piece of work"!

      I really think that black women need to calm down about seeking other races. They need to light candles where they are to contribute to the light needed in their own race. After that, if they want to step out, go on with your bad butts. When you come back alone with a few mulattos, don't apply for welfare. Get your butts to work!

      I am not as hard as I appear to be. I like humor, but I mean what I say, in a positive way. I am just protective, not hateful.

    • profile image

      Levertis Steele 5 years ago

      Black community leaders are not reaching these guys. They are skeptical of going to the streets, and the guy do not go to church to benefit from the religious leaders' messages about family and community. Many of the guys who could turn over a new leaf are not in the right places to get help with turning their lives around. The eligible black men are in short supply because others are not prepared to be husbands and fathers. They are focused on making money and being financially stable, and their resources are slim. Many have made the mistake of dropping out of school. Many cannot land the jobs that they want. The girls are too liberal with them, so they do not see a need to marry. Morals and standard of the men and women have lowered. The media's influence is great.

    • profile image

      Levertis Steele 5 years ago

      Oh, my! Ilost focus on the subject. Sorry.

      Black men are in short supply for many reasons. I agree with someone who said that they ae not really in short supply. It is a complicated issue. I see young black men everywhere. Some are taken; some are not marrying; some are not marriageable. I could write a long list of why many black males are in short supply, but I think we know them.

      According to statistics, 10% of married black men are married to women of other races, so they are unavailable to black women. Some black men are in jail. But there are many other reasons! Some are homosexuals. Some are out of jail but have felony raps that women cannot live with due to a trust issue. There are countless women who are waiting for their men to get out of prison. There are women who are so desperate that they are scrolling the inmate profiles looking for men. Need I go on? You can find these same problems in other races, too.

      I would not advise women to go to the departments of corrections to look for a man because many look for foolish women to send them money and noodles. Keep your noodles, girls! I must admit that the prisoners often look clean, physically fit, properly nourished, and all-around healthy while locked up! It seems that prison is good in the way of health. I suppose beans, cornbread, noodles, peanut butter sandwiches, and oatmeal are nutritious.

      If the guys returning from prison are truly rehabilitated and prove themselves, maybe a woman can find a good thing in them. One question, what percentage of released prisoners return to lockup? Most prisons need to revamp their rehabilitation program. Most of all, black men need to stay out of them. Soon they will learn the meaning of economic slavery because, when the prison's are privatized, the inmates will be sold like mules. Privatized prisons need lots of "big bucks" to prosper. The more prisoners they have, the more money they will make. "Come out of her my children!"

      There are many black guys around, but they are shacking with women or not interested in marriage because marital priviledges are free, even children are thrown in as a bonus. In plain words, "The cow is free" and sets no standards. All the guys have to do is go to pasture, entice a heifer, and get all of the steaks and rump roast they want. Milk? Joke! This is not a black thing; it is universal. Blacks are a minority and the numbers cause quicker reactions to these problems.

      The big picture is SIN. It is the category that causes the domio effect of problems.

    • glendoncaba profile image

      glendoncaba 5 years ago from Somewhere in the hubverse

      Megan: Unnatural means against the order of nature, the order of nature in humanity is heterosexuality.

      Families and communities can not survive on homosexual ethics. You may argue until the cows come home you will not convince me that it is natural. It is a biological paradox and especially for buggery a medical risk. Despite deviations seen in nature.

      We perpetuate the race by heterosexual families.

    • profile image

      Megan 5 years ago

      Homosexual behavior is not unnatural. It has been seen in the human race since the dawn of the human race and it's been documented in over 1000 species of animals, including insects. How is it "unnatural" when it's been going on on this planet since before humans were humans? It may not produce children, but neither can infertile heterosexual couples, does that mean they don't deserve to be together? Sex isn't just about making kids, and towing the line of fundies without educating yourself of the facts is sad. Do you really think Jesus' message of love really said "Love thy neighbor, oh, except for all the homosexual people. They can go to hell, we hate them!" I die a little inside every single time I see a Christian person outcast anyone who isn't a heterosexual, because we know what it's like to be persecuted and hated, yet we can't look past misguided traditions that have nothing to do with our Religious guidelines and love properly, the way Jesus intended.

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      Rosemarie Back 5 years ago


    • Bellz23 profile image

      Bellz23 8 years ago

      Being in my early 20s I see what you mean especially the lesbian part I know too many females who are all of a sudden lesbians only because they can't find a decent black man. I don't know any females (out of my friends) who have a decent black boyfriend or husband NONE!, and its truly sad and discouraging to me. My generation really has failed in this area, the females friends I do have, are looking forward to being single parents or are already.

      I honestly think black women need to stop being so loyal to black men and consider dating outside our race, just as our brothers are.

    • glendoncaba profile image

      glendoncaba 8 years ago from Somewhere in the hubverse

      No body: sorry about death of ex. I feel your love for your family. Happy to hear of your son's success. Thanks for sharing.

      I travel a lot so we might meet someday. We are not perfect at all, but work at it with word of God. The pic showed a perfectly happy moment except the little one was hugging us so tight he was choking us :)

    • glendoncaba profile image

      glendoncaba 8 years ago from Somewhere in the hubverse

      james: thanks for very kind words.

    • no body profile image

      Robert E Smith 8 years ago from Rochester, New York

      I recently helped my son bury his mom. His mom and I adopted this very handsome black man when he was 4 days old. He was so cute and cuddly and we loved him so. It was so sad for my son, my daughter and me. His mom and I had been divorced almost 11yrs but it was still hard for me - and to see them hurting like that. I watched as he read a eulogy written by my daughter and he read it so bravely and manly and I was so proud. I told him with a smile that when I grow up I want to be half the man that he had grown into. He has character and wisdom and I also told him that I had been ashamed of the family name but I'm not anymore because he has given it style and class and so has my daughter. Yes there are fine elegible black men out there and they go fast because they are a godsend to a woman who will love them. I thank God everyday for His love for my children and pray for the children of other folks of color so that men of character will be there for leadership of homes and government. PS. Your family picture makes me wish I knew you personally. You guys look so happy together. God bless you.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 8 years ago from Chicago

      I enjoyed reading your Hub. I can see this as a real problem. And I can see that the Sisters are losing quite a few of their men to white girls, too. I think I'll write a Hub about that.

      You are a good writer. I'm glad you put this out there.