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The Other Woman

Updated on July 24, 2013

Sit Down Gurl! Let's Talk!

Who Is Likely to Be The Other Woman?

I've known many women over the years who have taken the road of the other woman. Back in the day you could find them at the speak easys, local bars, crowded house parties and the like. You could even catch a glimpse of her slipping discreetly into her lover's car after the children had been called in from play, fed, and put to bed. If you asked the neighborhood's busybody, who faithful sat perched at her window, she would quietly whisper her name to you.

To her credit she may have worked at the local department store but needed the Sugar Daddy to help pay the groceries, electric and rent. Sometimes she was the lady down the hall with an apartment full of children and little or no education and no man. You would find her closing the door quietly behind her with the intentions of being home when the bar closed just in time to see the kids off to school.

These situations don't justify being the other woman but at least you could reason her actions aside, if you didn't look to hard. Least she was taking care of business but needed a little assistance.

Today, this is not as much the case. The women that I meet are well-educated, hold good jobs, but don't have their OWN man! They wait years expecting him to one day wake up and realize that he just can't live without her. The fact that they will spend special days, events, and weddings without him and explaining to family and friends that he had some pressing engagement that prevented him from attending gets old to everyone else, it seems, but her!

What makes "The Other Woman" more dangerous is that you might find her at your next barbecue! Wedding celebration! Church event! Who? Oh yeah! I was just told of a recent episode where the female relative of the male in question went to "The Other Woman," slipped her a piece of paper with her home telephone number and asked her to "call her!" Needless to say, the woman neither called or returned to the Church to watch hubby and wife! You see, the issue is that "no place" is considered sacred from these illicit affairs.

I understand that he's charismatic, entertaining, and handsome. Qualities that makes for a great husband but the fact is that he belongs to some one else!

He's Married

Signs That He's Married
Signs That He's Married

Excuses for Carrying On An Illicit Affair!

I didn't know he was married! Sista gurl! I understand that too. I want to help you with this one. Before I was inducted into the hall of wedded bliss, if a man gave me his beeper (yes, beeper -- now you know that was a while ago...LOL!) number, I took it. Then I asked him for his house number! If he couldn't do so, I gave him back his number and said to myself "next!"

Now, I know, some of you may still have some more questions so I'm gonna list several ways to tell if your man is married/committed (for you new school people).

  1. You can only reach him through technological means: cell phone, e-mail, texting, IMs but you can't reach him at his residence phone.
  2. You can't show up at his residence unannounced. Your visit needs to be scheduled.
  3. Your e-mail or text session is cut short unexpectantly; wife may have entered the room.
  4. DEAD GIVE AWAY: has a light ring around the finger where his wedding band should be!
  5. You have that unshakeable feeling that something just isn't right. Listen!
  6. He becomes uncomfortable when you ask him if he's married.
  7. Details of what he's told you about his past keep changing.
  8. He breaks dates suddenly even though you've planned them weeks/months ahead.
  9. Watch his time. Does he arrive/leave/call around the same time?
  10. What family members of his have you met? Did you meet his mother? If so, is she looking forward to you becoming her new daughter-in-law?
  11. He likes to meet you at out of the way places? Of course, he's just so romantic!
  12. This one I learnt first-hand ladies...He doesn't want you to wear lipstick or perfume. Likes you au naturelle! Boy, I had to laugh at this one! Memories...LOL!

Okay ladies I will be continuing this blog...look for my updates!



Why do we, as women, continue with this act of conduct. Perhaps, we didn't know that he was married in the beginning, at first. Maybe, he didn't wear the wedding band. There was no picture of a wife or family on his desk.

Some women have done some investigation but find themselves getting closer to him before completing a thorough investigation. These men are usually charmers and are good fathers and providers. Oftentimes, they are just not ideal husbands!

Ideally, they fit the profile of what most women want as a mate and that's why they are already married. Married men are already doing what the woman that is seeking a mate desires.

The other woman may hear stories (bad) of how his wife is simply not fulfilling his needs, not taking care of the family, not keeping herself up, and has become boring and out of touch sexually.


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