- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
Where to Look For a Spouse, or Someone to Just Date
Open Your Eyes
We don't even have similair interests
Why can't I find the right guy? This question is possibly the most common one asked these days, by most of my friends, and here online. I thought about it for quite a while, but it wasn't until my oldest son asked me that the answer came to me in a flash.
I am not going to just give you a quick answer, but let's look logically at the problem, and our possible solutions.
Most people meet others wherever they go. At an other's house while visiting, the store, and many other places, but let me ask you this question.....
When you meet someone at a bar, what kind of person do you expect him or her to be? Moreover, do you think that it might be a good possibility that they might have alcohol issues? I believe the answer is quite evident.
I believe when you are in school, and find a possible partner there, you will find that you have someone with goals. Not only short term goals, but long-term goals for where their life will be headed in years to come.
When you attend church on Sunday, and find someone there, you will quite possibly end up with a person who is very spiritual, and possibly fanatical about it.
When you find a person from the workplace, you will find a person who works hard and might have issues with money.
Now don't get me wrong, these are not fail-safe rules, but just generalities and possibilities. My mother used to say all the time, and to the point of making me mad---"You are your friends". I don't think I understood her meaning when she said that, but to some extent she was very correct. Look at your friends. What are they like? Do they work or are they lazy and losers? You can learn a whole lot about yourself, and even deal with some personal issues by just taking a good hard look at the people that you socialize with, and spend most of your time with.
Take your time, and look in the right places for the qualities you want, and have fun doing it, it should not be work...
Do online dating sites work?
There are many ads on television about dating sites from the computer. These sites will at least match you up with someone that has the same interests as you do. The same interests at least give you a place to start when you sit down with a person at a dinner table. Communication is important.
But then one must stop and think aibout getting to know someone who you have never met before. Dating sites all have one thing in common, and that is whether the person you will be going out with has been honest about himself when they filled out their application for the website. There is the issue as far as whether you want to take the chance being alone for several hours on your first time out together, with someone who may be a stalker, or even worse, a thief or a social deviate.
It is all very difficult and confusing. I believe that the best way to go, is to simply go out and enjoy yourself doing the things you love to do, and just keep your eyes open for those around you that could potentially become a good friend. Then you can take it from there as to whether you care to take it further and get closer and spend more time.
I don't know if debating these issues have helped you decide where to go and how to look for a person you care to become close to. Hopefully, if nothing else, it has given you some things to think about and possibly a way to think differently and be succussful.
Good luck in your endeavers.