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Why Did My Boyfriend Cheat?

Updated on August 6, 2020
Sychophantastic profile image

I'm an eclectic gal with many diverse interests. They include relationships, film, trivia, and an assortment of other things.

Cheating is Painful

Why do some men cheat? It's a question many women ask because a man cheated on them. If you're one such person, it's a bad time for you. You've come to this article for answers. While there are answers, I urge you to move on as quickly as possible. Cheaters aren't worth your time.

If you're in a relationship with a man who has cheated on you, then I feel your pain. Men are often pigs.

However, it's always a good thing to try to understand the reasons why men cheat. So, you might spot these characteristics in a future mate and get out of there.

Remember something about evolution: it programmed me to spread their seed as far and wide as possible. Evolution taught women to nurture and stay in one place to raise a family. That's just how it's been for millenia. Do women cheat? Of course they do. Keep in mind, a cheater's cheating usually has more to do with them than with you.

So the first key to understanding why men cheat is that they're programmed to do it. However, we also live in the modern age. Clearly, men should be smart enough to understand that cheating and committed relationships do not go together. Thus, if a man cheats on you, he probably has a reason, though it might be a really bad one.

Honestly, sometimes those reasons will have to do with you. Other times, they'll have nothing to do with you. Either way, it's best not to dwell too much. Move on. Find somebody who isn't a cheater.

Here are a few reasons a man might cheat:

Source

There's Something Wrong With Him

Something damaged people who cheat. They may think it's exciting behavior, but something is wrong. Somebody cheated on him. He doesn't respect himself and he doesn't respect you. He grew up in a home where his parents fought and eventually divorced. Long-term relationships don't work for him.

Whatever it is, blame cheaters for cheating. Stand tall. Tell your cheater he made a mistake he will regret for the rest of his life. Then move on. That is my best advice.

Did You Cheat First?

If you really need a reason, then okay. Did you ever cheat on a boyfriend? Did you cheat on this one? Maybe it was only a small indiscretion, but you worked through it. Did you tell him about it? No matter, if you cheated first, that might be it. Any cheating creates mistrust.

Cheaters deserve each other. I suggest you find another guy and try to have a committed relationship with actual commitment. I am not prone to blame the woman for what a man does. But if you're at fault, you're at fault. Oh sure, they're two entirely separate events. Tell yourself that if you need to. Unfortunately, once you break trust, the floodgates to betrayal and revenge open up.

Make sure your own behavior is 100% solid before casting blame.

You're Not Hot Enough For Him

This is why should always go out with a guy who is uglier than you. Otherwise, hotter women than you are going to hit on him all the time. Everyone knows that men cannot control themselves in this situation.

However, if you date a guy who's just a shade less attractive than you are, then you're a lot safer. He won't have these opportunities. If your girlfriends tell you that you could do better, that might be a good thing. Basically, you don't want to feel inadequate in a relationship. If you do, it's an invitation for the guy to cheat.

The Sex Isn't Good

If there's no sex inside the relationship, then there's going to be sex outside the relationship. And if the sex inside the relationship is bad, then he's going to go looking for good sex outside the relationship. In other words, make sure you're putting out or you're going to be putting him out. And if you're putting out, but not well, go get some lessons. The best thing you can do is ask him what he likes and what he needs from you in bed. And, of course, make sure he knows what you need. This is the best way to insure that he doesn't cheat.

It Was Thursday

Guys don't really need a reason to cheat. They're guys. Thursday is frequently as good as reason as any to cheat on you.

You Smell Funny

You stopped using deodorent. You roll in manure. Stop showering? You're a corpse.

Men don't like it when their women start to smell funny. So if you smell funny, your man is likely to seek companionship elsewhere. This can also mean smelling funny downstairs. Thus, make sure you've got that area of your body groomed and smelling good all the time. Remember, if ice cream smells like roadkill, a man is going to go buy his ice cream at another store.

It Was Friday

See above.

He was Drunk

Everybody, man or woman, like to play this card. Personally, I'm not buying it. I've never been that drunk. I don't believe it. So drunk that you don't know right from wrong? Imagine murdering somebody and then using drunkenness as an excuse. I didn't think so. Does it lower your inhibitions? Sure it does. But I believe that anybody who says they got so drunk that they didn't know right from wrong is a liar in addition to being unfaithful.

What do you think is the most likely reason men cheat?

See results

His Mother Didn't Give Him Enough Affection as a Child

When a man grows up not receiving enough affection from his mother, he becomes prone to having sex outside a relationship because he's continually seeking female approval. So, assuming your man hasn't already cheated, make sure you meet his mother and try to get a handle on whether they have an affectionate relationship or not. Do they hug when they see each other? Do they kiss goodbye? If his mother an icy, cold bitch, there's a pretty good chance that he's going to look outside your relationship for some nookie.

He Was Bored

Men bore easily. Most people think about the grass being greener anyway. This is something you want to remember for your entire life. Because if a man is capable of cheating and feels desired by another woman, he'll think about it. Limit that temptation, if you can. If you work to be an exciting partner, he'll weigh the risks. And if he cheats anyway, you know it's not your fault and you can laugh at him.

He's Stupid

Stupidity is just getting harder to avoid these days. So, if you think about it that way, you have high odds of encountering a stupid man. Being with a stupid man is inevitable. Thus, if he cheats on you, maybe he's just stupid. That gives you a very easy out. You can just move on and not worry.

Help yourself out be asking questions early on in the relationship. For example: "What's two plus two"? "Who is the President of the United States"? "Where is the clitoris"?

He Doesn't Care About You

People who cheat don't care. Always remember that. Do not beat yourself up and look for explanations. The bottom line is that a cheater cares more about his feelings than yours. Is that really the kind of person you want? Is that your soulmate?

It isn't. This is about self-respect. Forgive yourself for making the mistake of choosing a cheater. Then go look for a non-cheater. Wave goodbye to the cheater and never talk to him again.

You'll be better off for it.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2013 Sychophantastic

Comments

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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 

    8 years ago from Chicago

    Men and women cheat for the same reasons. They want to hold onto all that is good in the "primary" relationship while addressing their other needs on the side. Cheaters don't believe they will get caught!

    Cheaters lack the courage to walk away from a (known) present relationship to fully pursue a future with an (unknown) person. Every betrayed person always asks "why" as a reflex question. The truth is they really aren't looking to gain some "understanding" and would never believe the cheater was "justified". Therefore asking (why) is nothing more than an rhetorical question! We don't care why! :-)

  • Levertis Steele profile image

    Levertis Steele 

    8 years ago from Southern Clime

    Sadly, women cheat almost as much as men.

  • fpherj48 profile image

    Suzie 

    8 years ago from Carson City

    Sycho....LOL....Yes, they DO indeed, continue to ROAM.....and make a stop, here and there. Technology has made it much more difficult to be discreet or keep it secretive.....nearly impossible, in fact. I would state that "cheating" has been a reality since Day 1.....but, since "Adam" would have had NO ONE to cheat with.....I'm afraid it had to be much much later.

    FYI.....to all of you devout "Creationists," you do realize, do you not, that this Tale of Adam and Eve, can mean only ONE thing?......we are ALL the result of the "Original SIN/CRIME of " Incest". Not anything I like thinking about........YOU?

  • Levertis Steele profile image

    Levertis Steele 

    8 years ago from Southern Clime

    You wrote: "So the first key to understanding why men cheat is that they're programmed to do it."

    So, men are not separated from animals in this respect! Who programmed men to scatter their DNA? If this programming is natural, then fornication/adultery is too. Then, men are programmed to have children outside of marriage. They are programmed to produce babies with more than one woman. Solomon, the wise, had the right idea, I suppose.

    Men may have a desire to scatter their seeds, and women may have a desire to receive them. Every time a man scatters, a woman is involved unless he is gay. So, who is programmed? Men want women to think that they are programmed to sit at home and wait for them to return from cheating, but that is not the case in this century. They both cheat. As men exercise their “natural right” to cheat, women are becoming more and more promiscuous. Men are natural leaders, and they are leading by examples. “O, what a tangled web we weave!”

  • Sychophantastic profile imageAUTHOR

    Sychophantastic 

    8 years ago from Texas

    I'm totally feeling the love here! I would just say, fpherj48, that try as we might, it's hard to change millions of years of programming even though men aren't roaming the hillsides hunting for food. They're still roaming the hillsides.

  • fpherj48 profile image

    Suzie 

    8 years ago from Carson City

    Jeannie.....I do believe "poopy head," is an authentic, technical term. Sounds perfectly good to me.

    Seriously now, folks....how about some excellent and realistic explanations, from a very wise, EXPERIENCED, mellowed, older woman?

    Do you REALLY want to know......as in the TRUTH? or are we just being silly here? Or, do you want to hear something you can live with and help you refrain from hurting and or killing someone?

    Sycho.....You were actually fairly accurate in stating that man's basic nature, is at work here. That being said, this is now 2013 and we surely need no more seed spread about, nor do men go out into the wilderness all day to hunt and fish, to feed his flock, that Mama has been tending to and breast feeding all day. I believe it's called: "Evolution."....which may have lead us all, away from temptation and into civility, The Puritanical age, morals & codes of ethics and all that rot.

    Why......as a matter of fact, Sycho.....we have come SO far, girlfriend, that every single reason you listed, with a few minor verbiage adjustments, are some of the exact same reasons WOMEN cheat!

    Very amusing hub. I like it!...........UP+++

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie Marie 

    8 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Some men are just poopy heads. Yes, that is my technical term. They are just simply going to cheat no matter what. Of course, it does help it if I try not to roll around in manure, too. As a matter of fact, I try to achieve that goal everyday and so far so good.

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