- Gender and Relationships
Why EXACTLY do we get married?
NOTE: This hub is solely based on the thoughts, opinions and experiences of the author and contents may seem offensive but the author is open to opinions, experiences and suggestions.
Ever wondered why people get married? Not because of love or for the sake of having kids but the REAL reason people get married. In those days getting married was like a necessity, something people could not do without but fast forward to today after years of war, the feminists movements and the rise in divorce rates marriage is like a luxury, something you can do if you have the money, mind or even the time. My question of why people get married arose after an argument I had with my Aunt and grandmother about the benefits of getting married versus the benefits of staying single. My grandmother's best points were that the Lord says we should get married and multiply and that society looks down on people who are single. My aunt argued that I would get married when I fall in love with someone like she has a third eye that can view into the very depths of my soul. Yes, I will fall in love, many times even but that most certainly does not guarantee that i would get married.
"Without sounding pessimistic, I learned that I don’t believe in marriage. I believe in a commitment that you make in your heart. There’s no paper that will make you stay.”
I don't really know about U.S. or U.K. but over here in Africa marriage greatly favours the men. Most guys get married so that they would have a woman that they can call 'my wife', a woman that would cook their food, wash their clothes, clean the house e.t.c. There is almost no such thing as an equal partnership marriage. Take for example my grandparents have been married for 40 something years and not once have I ever heard my grandfather give my grandmother a compliment, he doesn't cook or clean, all he does is sit on the couch all day and wait for his food to magically appear. Honestly it's not being a husband; it's called laziness. My grandmother doesn't seem to care like she was brought up to believe that she is supposed to serve her husband and frankly I don't care either but what really gets tome is when she wants me to take the path she took. I'm not a feminazi. I'm not even a malenazi but if there's one thing I do know is that I am a human being and as a human being I deserve equal rights and I deserve to live my life the way I want to live it without anyone butting in or judging me. Society can go screw itself!
"I've always liked the idea of choosing to be with somebody. I thought that if you didn't get married you wouldn't take each other for granted as easily."
Long ago, people got married so that they could have a stable environment to raise their kids in but I don't want to have kids and I'm sure there are a lot of women who don't (Hey, I've even considered donating my womb to some other less fortunate woman) plus I am really selfish and I get irritated very easily. My Aunt says that it would change over time but I highly doubt that, I want to be known as The Mars Profane not 'The wife', I want to explore, I want to discover, I want to be free . Love is natural, marriage is not. there is absolutely no way that you can love the same person forever and not fall in love with another person. The grass is always greener on the other side that's why dudes in the bible took more than one wife when polygamy was rampant but now that it's not common and sometimes illegal it leaves and person stuck with the same partner in a boring marriage; that's where divorce comes in.
"I think people get freaked out about getting married and spending 20 or 30 years sleeping with the same person but if that's the case, don't do it. Have someone for five years and another person for another five years."
So why exactly do people get married? If you're deeply in love with someone why do you need a piece of paper and a pair of mini handcuffs (wedding rings) to prove it? I don't condemn people who want or people who are married that's their business what I do condemn though are those who judge or not respect others who have chosen an alternative love life. Pre marital sex isn't a sin if you're not going to get married.
You can still have the same level of happiness living with your partner and not having kids just like your married counterparts so why bother?