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Why Would You Be Friends With Benefits?

Updated on February 25, 2015
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Is there a problem with having sex just because?


This is a pretty common relationship in this day and age. Most people know someone that has done this or is doing it. Having intimacy without dating, or without a relationship. Is there ever any harm in this or is it just all fun and games? I know a lot of people who see no wrong in this. I am not talking about a one-night stand; I am talking about frequent get together’s as friends with benefits. Many people fall to this level when they break up with their boyfriend or girlfriend, or just are sick of trying to find that special person. Being friends with benefits can get complicated especially when that person used to be in a relationship with you.

I believe this kind of relationship should really be avoided because it does not help you move on, and just prevents you from finding love with someone who would matter.

Using someone to fulfill your sexual needs just for fun isn’t exactly ideal. What if you met someone you were actually interested in and they find out while you went on a date you were with this other person? That could certainly ruin an opportunity. If you are having benefits with your old boyfriend or girlfriend this can really make it harder to get over them. So many people do this just to hold on to that person. Usually these relationships come about because of the aggravation of failed relationships. But do we really want to waste our lives with someone we aren’t going to be with? It is so different to have sexual benefits with someone you have never been involved with than someone who was deeply involved because that adds emotions regardless if they are welcome or not.

Everyone is different in their views on life and relationships. I always find that there is no purpose to being with someone you are not going to be with in the long run because I don’t want to waste years of my life. Intimacy is not the same without love. Just being with someone only to sleep with them seems kind of promiscuous to me. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Was there any purpose to this, and how long did it last? Do you feel embarrassed or regretful? Eventually this ends, so what is the point? It can be nearly impossible to have sex without developing feelings or feeling awkward. I know that I would never consider having a person in my life just for this, but many people disagree.

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    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 

      6 years ago from home

      Jess,

      yes it was a bad "occurrence" though i love my daughter...has had to go through allot of crap between her parents/// it has proven to be real tough for all of us...she was concieved whilke we were kinda apart in the situation you describe here....

      TH

    • JessicaSmetz profile imageAUTHOR

      Just Ask Jess 

      6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Definitely not. I never have, and most of my friends haven't either. There is clearly no point that's the problem. & if you accidentally knock up your sex buddy that definitely would lead to issues haha.

    • GleedenUS profile image

      GleedenUS 

      6 years ago from Los Angeles, California

      Hasn't every person had at least one such "friend"? As long as there're clear boundaries both parties are okay with, what's the harm in having a bit of fun?

    • Guy Collins profile image

      Guy Collins 

      6 years ago from United States

      A long, long time ago, I ran into a "friend with benefits" while I was on an actual date. We kissed each other on the cheek, and made quick plans to see each other the next night.

      Things have changed since the early 80's.

      P.S. I've been married to the same wonderful woman for the past 21 years. When you decide you finally want to commit, FWB no longer seems like a good idea.

    • JessicaSmetz profile imageAUTHOR

      Just Ask Jess 

      6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Yes being friends with benefits sure can make things complicated, and cause you to lose someone you may have wanted. A lot of guys will say, well im not gunna say no to sex..but in the end that's not what they want when they miss out on a relationship.

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 

      6 years ago from home

      jessica,

      Hello, My name is Tom and i am a seial monogamist...

      crowd "hi tom"

      well lets see- I am not a guy who seriously dated more than 1 "gal" at a time two weeks maybe and I was never "in love" with anyone i half dated....So for me i could not do it, I find it disingenuos and i felt creepy doing it even for gals I was not really into them.... I understand people who do this I understand why i did not like being guy #2 or three for sure in fact one gal I was "dating" was also dating 2 other guys...even though she was sleepin with them n not me... but had the nerve to say she liked me best..."funny way of showing it " so i said I must go i stopped calling her and started dating another gal and gal-#1 got mad said "you are cheating on me"... In what world does that logic work...well i wasn't dating her for her brains...

      TH

    • JessicaSmetz profile imageAUTHOR

      Just Ask Jess 

      6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Haha..well I am against this so I hope not!

    • eaglecreek profile image

      Jason 

      6 years ago from Vilonia , Arkansas

      Jessica you are to good looking for hubs like this, now your just gonna have a bunch of wishful thinking guys sending you Pms lol

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