- Gender and Relationships
Why He Still Talks About His Ex
Truthfully, the answer to this question is pretty simple, as are the thought patterns of most men. Not to say that males are innately simple or that they lack complex thought, in fact, that's the opposite of how most men are. It's just that they're emotional thought patterns are a lot more simplistic then our femininely patterns are. That is the most efficient way for men to deal with things, and so that's what they do.
In short, he still talks about his ex, because he still thinks about her and who he was when he was with her. Just as you compare him to former flings, bf's and hubby's, he does the same with you and his past relationship experiences. It's natural and necessary to do such things.
Why he thinks about her so often
There are only a handful of reasons why he might be thinking about his ex so often (or what you perceive to be often).
- She was a big part of his life, regardless of whether she was a good part or bad part. This is especially true for any LTR or marriages he took part in.
- He was young when he was with her. Men are more emotional when they are younger, and tend to remember painful and pleasurable experiences from their youth more than their current state.
- She was particularly nasty to him, which not only makes a strong imprint, but he's still got some anxiety about your relationship with him turning into the same as the one with his horrible ex.
- He jumped into your relationship to quickly before dealing with the baggage from his previously relationship. Men and women both do this without meaning to. If this is the reason, he just needs time to sort things out. They say it takes twice as long to get over someone, as the time you were with them. So give him time to deal with it.
- He has kids with his ex. Once you create life with another person, you are indefinitely attached to them. The degree to which he is attached, is the key part for you to look out for. If you want to be with him, you'll always have to considerately accept that he will have to be in touch with his ex in order to provide for his child or children. Though there is no reason that communication or interaction has to be anything more than civil and appropriate for the situation.