- Gender and Relationships»
Why I chose to Wait until Marriage
Three percent of the US population currently wait until marriage before having sex. We are definitely the minority and not the majority.
Despite their behaviors, 90% of adolescents "agree that most young people have sex before they are really ready." The average age of first sexual intercourse in the United States is around 18 for males and around 17 for females, and this has been rising in recent years.
To just start off I want to be as honest and transparent as I can, I did have sex with one other woman before I met my wife. I Was involved in sexual activity, until a had an encounter with Christ that changed my life. I then committed myself in 2013 to celibacy until I found the right partner.
2 Years later I met my beautiful wife, and 1 year later we were married. I have been happily married for the last 2 years.
Was it easy? Not at all. Was it worth it? Absolutely! So why did I choose to wait until Marriage?
The first reason was because of my faith in Christ and obedience to the word of God.
In today's society most Churches look identical to the world. Meaning professing Christians are still having regular sex outside of marital covenant which is directly opposing the word of God, that teaches us to Flee youthful Lust. That encourages us to avoid fornication, and sexual immorality of all sorts.
Christians today are compromising Gods word to satisfy the desires of the flesh. When I was 18 before I was truly saved I had my own moral standard. I would only have sex with a woman if I was in love.
Needless to say that is what a lot of Christians are doing today, they think as long as they are in love they can engage in sexual encounters but that is not doctrinally correct.
So the first reason I choose to wait until marriage was to honor God and be obedient to God's word.
Secondly I had respect for my wife's body.
Today most men have no respect for women. Hip hop music has programed the urban community specifically to degrade women, to use women, and to abuse them.
We have been conditioned to treat Women like dogs, and use them for our own personal lust. Main stream Hip Hop has taught us that women are men's tools of pleasure.
Also we saw this in Play Boy magazine, and its objectification of women. Hue Hefner was praised when he died, though his career was built on objectifying women's bodies.
This released sexism in America and changed the way men view women. Also when pornography began to expand, and the internet became infiltrated with the filth of pornography, women were burned in men's minds as instruments for our most filthy desires.
I chose to respect my wife's body in spite of the culture around me. I chose to swim up stream. I chose to be different. I did not hold my wife's hand until our wedding day. I chose honor her for the beautiful woman of God she was.
I chose to wait because we as Men have Male privilege in this country and we can either use that privilege to further oppress women or lift them up, and honor them. I made a choice to respect my lovely wife.
The third reason I chose to wait is to get to know my wife's mind before I knew her body.
How many times have you went out with a man, and the night ended in your apartment or his. And your trying to communicate and get to know him better and the only thing he wants to do is " Hump", excuse my French.
Eventually you succumb to the pressure and have sex, and you never hear from him again.
I chose to get to know my with mentally, emotionally, and spiritually before I did physically. Before my wife and I got married we had genuinely become best friends, because we talked all the time.
We would spend hours on the phone together, talking about everything under the moon. We were able to learn each other much more intimately then we would have had we engaged in sexual activity with one another.
Lastly I chose to wait as an example to my future Children.
When I married my wife she had a five year old son. I waited for him and for all of my future children. My wife is currently 9 weeks pregnant and I'm hoping for a girl. I can't wait for the day I am able to explain to my daughter the importance of waiting and be able to say, " your mom and I waited until we were married".
I waited as a testimony to my children that its possible, and will more then likely lead to a much more organic relationship between you and your spouse. I waited because I want my daughter to wait.
I want my son to find a woman that respect's his body, and I want my daughter to find a Man that respect the entirety of who she is.
If I waited simply for my own self righteousness just to say I did it, I would have toppled over and had sex in the heat of the moment. But because I was thinking about other people God gave me strength to meet my goal.
I encourage you to wait as well, and I hope this article encourages you. I'm only 26 years old, and I have been married for two incredible years. I want you to know that in this sex driven generation, it is possible to wait.