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Why I chose to Wait until Marriage

Updated on March 12, 2018

Three percent of the US population currently wait until marriage before having sex. We are definitely the minority and not the majority.

Despite their behaviors, 90% of adolescents "agree that most young people have sex before they are really ready." The average age of first sexual intercourse in the United States is around 18 for males and around 17 for females, and this has been rising in recent years.

To just start off I want to be as honest and transparent as I can, I did have sex with one other woman before I met my wife. I Was involved in sexual activity, until a had an encounter with Christ that changed my life. I then committed myself in 2013 to celibacy until I found the right partner.

2 Years later I met my beautiful wife, and 1 year later we were married. I have been happily married for the last 2 years.

Was it easy? Not at all. Was it worth it? Absolutely! So why did I choose to wait until Marriage?

The first reason was because of my faith in Christ and obedience to the word of God.

In today's society most Churches look identical to the world. Meaning professing Christians are still having regular sex outside of marital covenant which is directly opposing the word of God, that teaches us to Flee youthful Lust. That encourages us to avoid fornication, and sexual immorality of all sorts.

Christians today are compromising Gods word to satisfy the desires of the flesh. When I was 18 before I was truly saved I had my own moral standard. I would only have sex with a woman if I was in love.

Needless to say that is what a lot of Christians are doing today, they think as long as they are in love they can engage in sexual encounters but that is not doctrinally correct.

So the first reason I choose to wait until marriage was to honor God and be obedient to God's word.

Secondly I had respect for my wife's body.

Today most men have no respect for women. Hip hop music has programed the urban community specifically to degrade women, to use women, and to abuse them.

We have been conditioned to treat Women like dogs, and use them for our own personal lust. Main stream Hip Hop has taught us that women are men's tools of pleasure.

Also we saw this in Play Boy magazine, and its objectification of women. Hue Hefner was praised when he died, though his career was built on objectifying women's bodies.

This released sexism in America and changed the way men view women. Also when pornography began to expand, and the internet became infiltrated with the filth of pornography, women were burned in men's minds as instruments for our most filthy desires.

I chose to respect my wife's body in spite of the culture around me. I chose to swim up stream. I chose to be different. I did not hold my wife's hand until our wedding day. I chose honor her for the beautiful woman of God she was.

I chose to wait because we as Men have Male privilege in this country and we can either use that privilege to further oppress women or lift them up, and honor them. I made a choice to respect my lovely wife.

The third reason I chose to wait is to get to know my wife's mind before I knew her body.

How many times have you went out with a man, and the night ended in your apartment or his. And your trying to communicate and get to know him better and the only thing he wants to do is " Hump", excuse my French.

Eventually you succumb to the pressure and have sex, and you never hear from him again.

I chose to get to know my with mentally, emotionally, and spiritually before I did physically. Before my wife and I got married we had genuinely become best friends, because we talked all the time.

We would spend hours on the phone together, talking about everything under the moon. We were able to learn each other much more intimately then we would have had we engaged in sexual activity with one another.

Lastly I chose to wait as an example to my future Children.

When I married my wife she had a five year old son. I waited for him and for all of my future children. My wife is currently 9 weeks pregnant and I'm hoping for a girl. I can't wait for the day I am able to explain to my daughter the importance of waiting and be able to say, " your mom and I waited until we were married".

I waited as a testimony to my children that its possible, and will more then likely lead to a much more organic relationship between you and your spouse. I waited because I want my daughter to wait.

I want my son to find a woman that respect's his body, and I want my daughter to find a Man that respect the entirety of who she is.

If I waited simply for my own self righteousness just to say I did it, I would have toppled over and had sex in the heat of the moment. But because I was thinking about other people God gave me strength to meet my goal.

I encourage you to wait as well, and I hope this article encourages you. I'm only 26 years old, and I have been married for two incredible years. I want you to know that in this sex driven generation, it is possible to wait.


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    • ArtCultureJesus profile imageAUTHOR

      Stefen Beasley 

      8 months ago from Glendale

      Wow thanks for taking the time firstly to read the article and secondly thanks for leaving a comment. I'm glad I could add some substance to your day if anything at all. You are so right though, we have to be willing to have uncomfortable conversation with our children or the teachers will, or there peers.

      We have to be able to engage our kids with the reality of sex, and gender difference, and what love looks like, and when it's appropriate to have sex.

      I know my pops never took the time so the internet taught me, and fast girls in my school, but I would have been spared by diligent parents willing to put fourth that effort.

      I mean at the end of the day its not easy. Good parents have to labor for there children, because those folk making the world worse are not taking a day off, so how can we.

      Again thanks for the comment you really got my mind thinking, I love to talk about things that really matter in life.

    • no body profile image

      Robert E Smith 

      8 months ago from Rochester, New York

      I could write a book as commentary for your article. There is so much truth in the things you say. It is impossible for kids to be spared the sexual side of everything so that they can have what used to be a "normal" "innocent" childhood. I can remember knowing people in my youth that had grown up like that and in communities like that. But even in my time, in the '60s, it was becoming nearly impossible to have a child unexposed to premature sexual material if the child looked for it. All it took was one kid talking about the excitement that he experienced and away the boys were swept. I would say a pair of Godly parents could raise children that were appropriately informed and still spiritually obedient to wait for marriage. The parents of that child would have to be diligent, vigilant and intuitive of the child's growth and maturing. It meant a relationship where sex was a subject spoken of in context with honesty. It meant that neither could the parent be too shy or the children are able to escape those type of learning situations that speak of changes to the body and other of the hundreds of uncomfortable topics which arise. Dad's needed to be able to talk about periods and moms about erections. It was not easy but it was possible. In this time of declining morals, it is impossible in the literal sense to keep these things in perspective for them. The children are "learning" from the schools themselves all manner of accepted sexual debauchery. Parents can't be with them all the time and the only way for the children to keep sexually innocent is for them to be strong enough to hedge in their curiosity and for them to be given away by their parents to deal with these feelings and constant information bombardment. I remember my own parents turning my questions away and saying the schools should have a book or something to give me the answers I so much needed to hear. I became first curious, and then as I began to mature I really needed those answers about how to handle all of this, this excitement and sense of danger I felt. Looking back I could see that had my parents just answered my questions honestly I could have been spared so much pain and avoided so much sin for which there are always consequences. Thank you for the powerful and short article that is so thought provoking. Bob.


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