- Gender and Relationships
Why Men Cheat on Good Women
Is That Hottie Balancing on Your Heart Strings???
Let's be a Fly on the Wall of his Thoughts for a Moment...
Here Are the Top Five Reasons (Confirmed by Men) Explaining Why Men Cheat
1) He Isn’t That Crazy About You.
This is the top reason because it can be the most painful reason that we don’t like to talk about. If you are confident about yourself and you know you are a great catch...it's painful when someone you like doesn't like you in return or treat you like you deserve. Even if he should be crazy over you he may not be ready for a serious relationship with anyone so it may not matter how great you are. It may not be anything personal so don’t take it to heart and quickly move on. The more awesome you are the more afraid these type of men often become. They may even do and/or say things to sabotage what you two have or could have, including cheating. Not all men cheat, the ones who do give the good ones a bad name. Consider looking for a different type of man or letting a different type of man find you this time. You will never have to chase or play games with a man who is truly into you.
2) You Allow It – by Sticking Around You Are Pretty Much Begging Your Man to Continue Cheating.
If you are in a committed relationship of any type and you stay with him or keep going back to him when you know he is cheating or has mentioned he might cheat you are enabling him to keep doing what he’s doing. Leaving for a while or breaking up for a while is not a punishment for a man like this. In the end he will think “well, I can start cheating again, she’s just going to keep coming back to me even if she breaks up with me for a while”. Men like this don’t learn their lesson, this is a huge reason why men cheat or continue cheating. They have a "cycle" and cheating is part of that cycle among other habits that are likely not what you are looking for. Respect yourself and your children’s future by saying goodbye for good, you don’t want them to learn and follow by example that this is acceptable treatment and a healthy relationship.
3) You Have Kids Together and He is Cheating
He doesn't think you have time or energy for him anymore. The girl he meets while at work is looking good, doesn't have children, and appears to have plenty of energy to please him...or already did. If you have children together you have three obstacles likely working against you. The first obstacle is the fact that he doesn’t respect and care about you and your children enough not to cheat – no matter what he “says”, he just doesn’t – maybe he isn’t capable or less than good role models in his past. The second obstacle is the fact that you have kids together and he may not want to lose time with them, or spend money on attorneys to end the relationship or marriage. Every good Mother wants what is best for their children and fears the worst, many Fathers fear the worst when children are involved too. The third obstacle is that you can’t make it on your own if you did have full custody of the kids and it scares you to attempt it financially and start all over on your own. Men know all of this and they use it to their advantage. Get yourself in a position to be able to move on and fight for custody of your kids, or be ready to give up shared custody if he is a good Father. Move in with family who is supportive if you have to...attorneys are expensive. Your kids will grow up with a much better example of what is acceptable and what is not in a marriage and/or committed relationship.
4) Your Cheating Man is the Breadwinner...he thinks he can do whatever he wants because you depend too much on him.
This is a big one that keeps a lot of women from leaving when men cheat. He makes a ton of money or a lot more money than you, therefore you are tied to him financially. You could lose custody of your children or have to spend a lot of money you won’t or don’t have to fight for custody. This type of leaving takes a lot of financial planning, family support, and the ability to save money without him knowing it. If you believe he is cheating start a financial and family support plan to map your way out. You will eventually be back on your feet and your kids will learn that they shouldn’t treat a woman like that (if a boy) or allow a man to treat them that way (if a girl). That might be their Father but you are their Mother and they want you to be happy too and they need a good example to follow. You are the only good example left to follow if he is cheating. Keeping things civil and out of court is best for the kids...try to both agree on that early on and get it signed and in writing.
5) He Isn’t Getting Enough From You.
Maybe you have no time or energy for sex anymore, this is a big reason why men cheat. By the way this is a “reason” why men cheat – not an excuse so this does not make it okay. Men NEED “physical” sex-we need “emotional” sex before the physical sex. Therefore, if they aren’t giving us the love, intimacy, devotion, and attention we need first emotionally in order to have a sex drive then we don’t necessarily want to jump in the sack with them. They don’t need all of that stuff, they just need the physical act of sex, that’s enough for them. Many men also appreciate the intimacy and would rather have sex with someone they love but they just aren’t that picky if they can’t get it from you. If she’s slightly attractive and will put out…she’ll do as a substitute. Regardless, don’t put up with it, you deserve a real man.