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10 Reasons Why People Don't Like You

Updated on May 28, 2015
sholland10 profile image

Susan is the last of eight children, has raised two productive members of society, and has spent 25 years teaching high school kids.

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As I was checking my Twitter account, I looked to the left and saw one of the trending topics was #WhyPeopleDontLikeYou. I laughed because I thought, “What a trend!”

Then I started thinking about it. There are some people with certain characteristics who clash with others. Since this is my hub, I will be writing it from my perspective. I know, I am not being very considerate. Maybe that is why people don’t like me. No, wait, everyone loves me… or do they?

Oh, all right. I will try to be fair. I will try to be considerate of others and what they would not like. Of course, each of us has different ideas of what we like and don’t like, but whatever… I will even start with myself.

They get it from me... I think they are adorable...
They get it from me... I think they are adorable... | Source

Are you a funny person?

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1. Annoyingly Funny

There are some people who are annoying when they try to be funny. I, on the other hand, along with my children, am funny. We sometimes go too far, though, especially when my very serious husband is around. I guess this could be construed as annoying... Sometimes we are able to get him to laugh at our antics: great jokes, funny faces, body contortions, dancing around him very closely as if we were about to offer him for a sacrifice – we don’t touch him. Most of the time he just sits with a stoic face. I’m just not sure why he doesn't find us funny.


It is when you THINK you are funny and are taking it too far that you might lose your audience. Unlike my husband, who is a captive lifer, some people will just walk out on you when you have taken it too far. You have to know when to pull back the reigns and stop when you see people forcing laughter then stealing away into the shadows to escape you. I have never lost an audience. If you have, cool your heels because you are annoying.

Example of a Negative Response to "How are you?"

Here is an example of a conversation I have run into with students (parents, teachers, pay attention so you can help train this outta our youngsters).


Me: How are you?

Student: It sucks. I have to work today.

Me: Did you apply for that job?

Student: Yeah.

Me: Are you making money?

Student: Yeah.

Me: Isn’t that what you wanted? A job and money?

Student: Well, yeah, but…

Me: (Putting hand up) No. Feel lucky you have a job and suck it up and quit complaining as if it were a bad thing that you have to go to work and make money.

(End of conversation and the student never complains about work in front of me. The student is much more positive when I ask “How are you?”.)

2. You Are Negative when Asked “How are you?”

I believe as polite adults all of us have asked, “How are you?” Sometimes twenty or more times a day. Most of the time, we do not expect a response, but sometimes we get one. If it is a positive response, people love that unless you are telling a long winded story to lead up to it.


It is when you come back with a negative story about everyday life that people don’t like. People really don’t care if you are tired, have to work, have a cramp in your foot, or have had a fight with your significant other who you will be holding hands with by the end of the day.


When someone asks on the fly, "How are you?" give an "I'm fine," or "I'm good." All of us have problems and issues, but most should be kept to ourselves because the hard truth is people don't give two hoots about your present but not constant problem or issue. Put on a cheery face and stop putting out that negative vibe because it will follow and label you.

Are you unintentionally negative?

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Don't even try it!  (I didn't raise them to be that way.  They get it from their dad.)
Don't even try it! (I didn't raise them to be that way. They get it from their dad.) | Source

Are you approachable?

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3. You Seem Unapproachable

I know my profile picture has this big smile, but I have one of those faces that is hard when I am not smiling. As a teacher, I have to be very conscious of my facial expressions because kids are so sensitive and believe the world revolves around them. They will leave saying, “She hates me.” Good grief. I know this about myself so I work on it because I don’t want people thinking I am having bitchy thoughts when I am not. As a matter of fact, I might be nearly comatose without a thought in my head, and someone will say, “Is something wrong?” I hate that.


Now, my husband thrives on being unapproachable. He is a great guy, but he is not nearly as funny as his wife and kids and is very serious. He truly does not care whether people like him or not. He assures me that most men feel this way – he oozes self-confidence and I wanna smack him for it. He not only has a stern, serious look, but he has a look of “I’ll rip your head off and $#!+ down your throat” look, too. Plus, he is really tall and broad and could actually do that. He is like the stereotypical big biker dude who looks mean but is the best guy in the world and would give you the shirt off his back to help you. He does not mean to look that way. It is just the way it is.

Since I am a teacher, I can’t be scaring kids off and am constantly on guard. As for my husband, I am sure this unapproachable look has helped him in his military career as a leader and in his present job. This look keeps the irrelevant, menial stuff out of his office. If you have a real problem, he'll deal with it. If you are whining about there not being enough toilet paper in the bathroom, he'll tell you to get the hell out and find the toilet paper. I have actually had people tell me they were afraid of him. Some people don’t like him because they are afraid to approach him. He doesn't care; whereas, it bothers me to be misunderstood.

If you have a harsh look about you and do not even realize it, you may have people "thinking" you are an unapproachable cur. True or not, it may be why people don't like you.

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Do you make excuses?

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4. You Make Excuses

Ah, the ever present excuse. Kind of like giving a negative narrative to “How are you?” people do not want to hear your excuses.

For example:

“Why are you late?”

“Well, I was driving this morning, and uh, a deer jumped out in front of me. I slammed on the breaks and skid into the ditch. A farmer came by, but he had his pregnant wife with him and he couldn’t help me because just as he got out to put the chain on my fender, she went into labor, and they had to leave. I mean, they had to leave right then because she was screaming and yelling, ‘You did this to me. This is your fault.’ I couldn’t believe it…”

Interrupting. “Why didn’t you use your cell phone to call someone?”

“Oh yeah, I was in such shock after going off the road that I forgot about my cell phone and when I picked it up, I saw it was dead. I forgot to charge it last night…”


STOP! ENOUGH! Just say, “I overslept.” If you don’t oversleep every day, you are not going to be a problem but if you have a long, rambling excuse, a red flag is going to go up. Bosses don’t like it. Friends don’t like it. People, in general, don’t like it. Just state the facts. Even if it is a fault on your part, you are going to be respected for your honesty.

I fall back on my teaching experience. I have heard ALL kinds of excuses about missing assignments. I respect a kid for saying, “I don’t have it,“ or “I left it at home,” or even “I didn’t do it.” I can ask why the student left it or didn’t do it. If it is reasonable, I am willing to listen and even work with the kid because I know what I am working with. When I am given an excuse, I feel like I am hearing an extravagant lie and I shut down.

If you think you are getting by on excuses with the people in your life, WISE UP! They are on to you, and you are not being respected because they can't trust you. You may find that some people drop out of your life.

If you are negative, don't be surprised if you are ignored.
If you are negative, don't be surprised if you are ignored. | Source

Are you a negative person?

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5. You Are Negative About Everything and Everyone

People want to be happy. People want to be content. People want to have fun. When you are having a discussion with someone and you only see the negative in the subject, you are a wet blanket on their happiness, contentment, fun, etc. You are the rain on their parade.


As stated above, there are annoyingly funny people, but the answer to that is not being the opposite, which is being the negative person. Snap out of it! Get rid of that black cloud that constantly hangs over your head. You will be more productive and people will want to be around you if you put on a happy face, even during hard times. Your life is what you make it, and every day is a blessing. Embrace it so others will embrace you. Otherwise, don't whine about not having any friends - self-evaluate now!

If you see eyes glazing over, stop talking.
If you see eyes glazing over, stop talking. | Source

Do you talk without taking a breath?

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6. You Talk Nonstop Without Transitions

We have all experienced people who will not shut up and allow others to talk. If you talk nonstop without transitions or even a breath between topics, you are going to wear people out. They may be polite and tune you out by nodding every now and then as you drone on, or they may get fed up and stop calling you or avoid being around you.

When you talk and talk and talk, you are being inconsiderate of what others may add to the conversation. Also, you may be talking about things that others do not care about.

Stop it. Put a sock in it, for the love of all that is good in this world! Please! Take a breath, and let others respond or even change the subject. You don’t have to “entertain” people with the minutia of your life. Learn to listen and observe others. You may be the friendliest person but if you don’t know when to shut up, you are going to lose people in your life.

Source

Are you a drama queen?

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7. You Are a Drama Queen

Is there ALWAYS some kind of drama in your life?

Does chaos and havoc lie in your wake because you stirred things up?

Well, you might enjoy being the center of attention for a while. You might even gain some sympathy, but people catch on when you are a repeat offender.


Being a drama queen is a relationship killer – any kind of relationship.

If you are running around with people who are enabling you, then you are going to be drudged down in all the muck someday. It will be a real eye opener and a cause for you to feel some real drama by yourself when you are left alone.

The saying, “No one likes a drama queen” is true. Cut it out! Cut! Cut! Cut!

The world owes you nothing...
The world owes you nothing... | Source

Do you carry a chip on your shoulder?

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8. You Carry a Chip on Your Shoulder

Okay, I talked about having an unapproachable presence with the way you look or carry yourself, and I even admit that I have to watch myself for that “look.”

If you are looking unapproachable and you have a terrible, nasty attitude to go along with it, you probably have a chip on your shoulder. Knock it off… No, seriously, knock the chip off your shoulder.


The world owes you nothing, and you have to live in it. If you want to live in misery, fine, keep to yourself and stew in your own juices.

If you want to enjoy life, stop blaming things on what has happened in your past and move forward. Again, self-evaluate and realize we are responsible for our own lives and happiness. If you become a more mature, likeable person, your quality of life is going to explode exponentially.

Do you try to "one-up" others' stories or experiences?

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9. You Are a "One Upper"

You are at a party. Everyone is talking and you walk up to a group and they stop talking. Why? Because every time a story is told, you have to top it with something bigger, better or worse, or even condescending to the one who was telling the original story. People don’t like to share their moment of fame. Let them have it. Wait a bit, and if you see an opening to tell your story, tell it.

It is not impressive to outshine everyone who shares something with you, especially in a group of people. It shows how selfish you are and how you cannot listen to others long enough to give understanding. Competition is good, but constant “one upping” is against the rules and will leave you alone with your “better story.”

Yes, I am ALL THAT.  It's okay if you noticed, too.
Yes, I am ALL THAT. It's okay if you noticed, too. | Source

Do you think YOU are ALL THAT?

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10. You Are the Center of the Universe

You have the brains. You have the hair. You have the style. You have the body. You also have the “better-than-everyone-else” air about you. In high school you might have peaked and had everyone falling for it, but then you hit the real world. Your arrogance turns people off. Your self-centeredness and love of self are not respected.


PULL YOUR HEAD OUT! People think you are a pompous ass! You are no longer the prom king or queen. You have to prove yourself on many different levels beyond the surface. Unless you are another Brad Pitt, who, by the way, had to humble himself to many demeaning jobs while he worked his way to stardom, get over yourself because you have to exist in this world and it is NOT at your feet.

Judge Judy - My Hero!
Judge Judy - My Hero! | Source

Just Fix It

I am sure I have hit a chord with some. Keep in mind I am listing some of my own faults I know I need to work on. Some people may not care about being liked. Some people want to be liked but don’t understand why they are not. We should always self-evaluate if we want to be successful. Being irritating, unapproachable, conceited, and/or unlikable may be getting in your way to success.

If you know people who have unlikable characteristics that fit those described above, figure out a way to let them know – you are helping them. I have a dream of being Judge Judy for a day just so I can say what I think.

Maybe we should all read Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. Old material that still holds true today.

Dale Carnegie Has the Answers

© 2013 Susan Holland

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    • sholland10 profile image
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      Susan Holland 2 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Yeah, being negative is not good for us or those around us. Complaining doesn't fix things. I tell my students if they know how to make a situation better to let me know and I will help. I have said the same thing to adults, too.

      Thanks so much for dropping by! :-)

    • Relationshipc profile image

      Kari 2 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      I think a lot of negative people don't even understand how bad they are. They think that it is normal to be negative, because that seems to be how most people relate...by complaining. People definitely do the best they can with the awareness they have.

    • sholland10 profile image
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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Thanks, Treasures! I think we all know someone who has at least one of these characteristics. I have a few I need to work on to an extent. I am glad you liked it.

      Thanks for dropping by and your votes! :-)

    • Treasuresofheaven profile image

      Sima Ballinger 4 years ago from Michigan

      Fantastic Hub! You hit the nail on the head. Great job. Vote Up and useful.

    • sholland10 profile image
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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      @KT - I have the same problem or blessing, whichever way you want to look at it. I speak my mind, too. Those who love me accept it; those who don't walk away. That's okay, though. There are things about them that annoy me, too. We have to be ourselves. :-)

      @Leslie - I feel for my husband sometimes, but we can either grow old and act our age or just be as young as we want. He chooses the first and I choose the latter - a match made in heaven... LOL We both knew what we were signing up for, so no pity from me. LOL Oh man, as a teacher there are days I want to throw compassion and political correctness out the window. Judge Judy is my hero. I love Simon, too. :-)

      @Paula - you hit the nail on the head about smart a$$es. Oh, the burden we carry for those who can't speak up. That's okay, we'll do it for them with a twist and a laugh! ;-)

    • sholland10 profile image
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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Hi All! So sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. I has been a busy time!

      @Katheryne - You are so right about attitude helping our dispositions. I struggle with that one myself. :-)

      @TruthForNow - I think being unapproachable at times. My problem is I have one of those faces that sends that unapproachable vibe without meaning to do so. I guess I could smile ALL the time, but then I would feel silly. Oh well, take me or leave me. :-)

      @Kathleen, I get so frustrated with Negative Nellies. Sometimes they don't like me because I point out how things can always be worse, and as Katheryn said, attitude can change our outlook on life.

      @Rose - I know the sweetest people who are unintentionally annoying. It is almost like they are trying too hard. Gotta love them for trying, though - or that is how I feel. So glad you like the hub. :-)

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Gosh....how I hate to tell you this......My sister and I were called EACH OTHER'S name, continually...all our lives.....her name was Patty!! LOL...so weren't far off, with "Patsy!!"

      You're so right. Everyone does love a smart a$$...and you know WHY, of course, right? The smart a$$ takes the pressure off the cowards and shrinking violets, who wouldn't speak up, with a mouth full of _ _ _ _.

      They can say what they want about perfection like us, Susan.....when they're in a jam......guess who they call??

    • sholland10 profile image
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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Mark, there are several people with these characteristics. Gotta love them, though, or not. LOL

      UberGeek, I agree... How do ya think I came up with the ideas. I drew from my own experience. LOL Don't worry about it. Just be yourself. :-)

    • sholland10 profile image
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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Patsy... I mean Paula... You can call me Sharon anytime. I am not even sure why you read this hub. EVERYONE loves you because who doesn't love a smart a$$? I absolutely love you because I think we are kindred spirits, and if anyone doesn't like us - well, you know what they can do (kiss our...). We don't have an obnoxious, unlikable bone or fiber in our bodies. Anyone can see that!!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Les....of course I DO! humpf!

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      Lol..judge judy - i love her! Perhaps Simon Cowell for a day as well? This was a hilarious AND informative write, and all i can say is: YOUR POOR HUSBAND! LOL! haha..

      Clearly, his sense of humor is much greater than you give him cred for, cause HEY - he puts up with YOU! (lol..just sayin', and YOU said it first, me thinks!)

      i am sharing this and i am laughing at Paula's comment! lol (HEY, PAULA - YOU LOOK MAH-VELOUS!)

      smiling (but looking bitchy...sigh)

    • KT Banks profile image

      KT Banks 4 years ago from Texas

      It has always seemed like I'm one of those people that you either love, or you hate. I've never been sure why that is, except I know I speak my mind too much. This info. is very helpful ! Voted Up and more.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Susan....pay no attention to the fact that I addressed you as "Sharon," above......I'm just so into myself, I can't think about anything else!

      (even pretending to be this sort of a$$hole, is making me nauseous! LMAO!!) and there are people REALLY like this!....LOL

    • rose-the planner profile image

      rose-the planner 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      I found this article very entertaining but more than anything I found it very insightful. I totally get your points and completely agree with them. Honestly, there are some people out there that no matter how much they try, are simply annoying to most people that meet them. It is unfortunate because they could be the nicest individuals in the world but there is just that certain something about them that people find annoying. Great article! Thank you for sharing. (Voted Up) -Rose

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      Kathleen Kerswig 4 years ago

      Great Hub - voted up! I know people who are the Negative Nellies about EVERYTHING! It can be so frustrating at times. I loved the list you created and your descriptions. Great job. Thanks for sharing.

    • truthfornow profile image

      truthfornow 4 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      This was a fun article to read. Yes, I like to be unapproachable. But, I can fake it and get everyone to love me lol. For myself, I tend to stay away from people that only talk about themselves and never ask me how I am doing.

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 4 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      I voted this up and across, and am going to share it.

      This is great! It's a pretty thorough list of qualities that can be a turn-off to many people. I like the poll you had on the side of each of these.

      I see glimpses of myself in these, although not in an extreme way. I could say "yes" to some of these qualities at times, but not usually enough to be consistent. Some things I have noticed about myself, and worked on improving, because I don't like to be annoying to others.

      A few qualities I have struggled with in the past, when my life was going downhill. Things were hard at the time, but I managed to turn my attitude (and my reaction to life itself) around, and become a more positive person. Even when life isn't ideal, an attitude change can really be helpful to make you feel happier and more content with life.

      Thanks for sharing this with us. I really enjoyed it, and find it helpful. Sometimes we don't notice traits about ourselves until the topic is brought up, so it is good to think about them, and change the negative.

      Have a wonderful weekend!

      ~ Kathryn

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Sharon.....Nonsense! Preposterous! Someone NOT LIKE ME?? All of my answers to your VERY interesting questions, resulted in 100% assurance that I am LOVED, worshiped & adored....DESPITE anything you may hear to the contrary. "Envy," you know. Of course everyone wants to be ME...The Queen, Rock Star, Diva, etal.....Yes, it's hard, Susan, but someone has to be the "IT-GIRL." Fan mail is time-consuming, but not as bad as autograph-signing.....I'm sure you could never relate.....but you're not alone.....

      I could go on and on and on but that's enough about ME! Tell me, what wonderful things do YOU have to say about me?

      Oops...so sorry....I have to leave you. I'm being fitted for a new bullet-proof vest. Ta ta dahling!!!.............EXCELLENT HUB! ..UP+++

    • UberGeekGirl profile image

      Michelle Harlow 4 years ago from Calgary

      You remind me I have quite a bit about myself I can work on :)

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      Great article Susan, I know people with one or more of these traits. It seems to be so very common in today's society!

      Mark

    • sholland10 profile image
      Author

      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Thanks, Teaches! I am not sure some people are aware of their character flaws that cause people not to like them. I also know what I need to work on. My kids and I have a great time. We are sometimes TOO MUCH!! LOL We try to keep it in home. ;-)

      Thanks for dropping by! :-)

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      Great points on getting people to like you. Saw some that I may need to work on myself! Great shots of your family making the hub hit the mark.

    • sholland10 profile image
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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Thanks, everyone. It seems we all have pet peeves and faults we need to work on and great habits we need to continue. Trying to stay away from the negative so it doesn't pull you down is probably going to help the most as far as mental and physical health. I am so glad you have dropped by, voted, and/or shared. :-)

    • sholland10 profile image
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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Hi Conservative Lady! I have the same problem. When someone asks me what is wrong while I am just sitting and minding my own business, it really kind of irritates me. It is almost like saying, "Hey, you look like crap today," and I want to respond, "Nothing is wrong. Is there a reason you look like crap today, too?" (with a cheesy smile). Thankfully, I don't have too many cranky days when that is what pops out of my mouth. LOL

      Thanks for dropping by!!

    • James-wolve profile image

      Tijani Achamlal 4 years ago from Morocco

      This one is really common. You can't be a good match for everyone. We naturally get along better with some types of people and are drawn towards them, while others don't really do it for us, for whatever reason. It could be that we don't have the traits a person is looking for in a buddy. It could also be that we have a trait they want, but not the right 'level' of it.Maybe we do something that's off putting to other people.It could be anything really.too needy. too aloof. too caustic. too nice. too talkative. too quiet. too shy. too domineering. too out of touch. too hip in a smug way. too boring. too crazy. too weird. too badly dressed.We stand too close to people when we talk to them. Who knows?

      I voted up

    • Cyndi10 profile image

      Cynthia B Turner 4 years ago from Georgia

      Whew! I'm out of breath just reading all the pitfalls we can stumble into on our way to NOT being liked! That makes trying to be liked very hard work.

      I learned long ago that people will find a reason to not like someone just because...And I found the opposite is true, you will be liked just because...Still the world is filled with some obnoxious people and they often fall into one of your brilliantly described categories. The ones I steer clear of are the negative and those with the chip on the shoulder. Nothing can ruin a day like being around those types for a few minutes.

      Great hub! Voted up.

    • PaoloJpm profile image

      John Paolo B.Magdaluyo 4 years ago from Philippine

      Great hub! this are truly the reasons! haha, anyway, Its not like they don't like me because of my joking staff (one of top joker in the class) but some who tries to make fun of themselves was really annoying. Especially, those who tries so much hard. Definitely, its not in their nature that natural humor (the way I do things) but only to SOME.

    • livingsta profile image

      livingsta 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      A very useful and interesting article. Enjoyed reading every part of it along with the polls to the right :)

      Thank you for sharing this. Votes up and sharing!

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      Michelle Cesare 4 years ago from New York

      Out of the ten I hold a chip on my shoulder (not all the time but half the time yes) and I'm like your husband. I don't care if someone likes me or not. I use to care but life experience has helped me not give a shit anymore. Good Hub.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 4 years ago from Singapore

      So true!! Sharing!

    • Conservative Lady profile image

      Sheila 4 years ago from Surprise Arizona - formerly resided in Washington State

      Wow talk about hitting the nail on the head - great hub! I am often asked "Is everything okay" when I am just thinking about something that I need to take care of and not necessarily beaming from ear to ear. I've thought about purchasing some small fishing hooks and attaching them to the corners of my mouth and then stringing them around the back of my head to hold my mouth in a permanent smile....

    • sholland10 profile image
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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Alocsin, "sadly" I have some of these traits, too. I inspired myself. LOL Wow, wasn't that annoying?? I'm working on it... My own self-help hub. ;-)

      Thanks for dropping by!!

    • sholland10 profile image
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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Hmmm... Frog, are you my husband secretly hubbing! Hey, if so, this is my gig!! (NPI - LOL) Your words sound very familiar, and you are so kind to just say, "get out of my face." LOL

      Thanks for dropping by! :-)

    • sholland10 profile image
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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Thanks RC! Yes, I cringed while writing it because I know I fit the bill on some of those at times. Hopefully, we do not fall into our faults making them consistent habits. All of us should constantly try to improve, especially me! :-)

      Thanks for dropping by!

    • sholland10 profile image
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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Hi Martie, I do believe we do get into relationships that go sour, and it bleeds over to people who remind of that person. Sounds like you were raised on the Golden Rule just like I was. It can be tough, though. ;-)

      Thanks for the linking! :-)

    • alocsin profile image

      alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Sadly, I have some of these traits but like how you offer advice to counter them. I also like how you relate some of these issues to yourself. Voting this Up and Interesting.

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 4 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Susan - Marvelous Hub full of insight. When I got to the end though I felt the same way. Which way is that? I never concern myself with whether anyone likes me or not. I just have to be me and you have to accept that or get out of my face :)

      The Frog

    • randomcreative profile image

      Rose Clearfield 4 years ago from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

      You made so many great points here. Very well presented! I know that we all laugh at certain points and cringe at others because we know that we are guilty of a few things. There's always room for improvement. Nicely done.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 4 years ago from South Africa

      Hi sholland, I think it was a good thing for me to give you an opportunity to write such a lovely comment about your hubby. For 10 years I felt the same about my ex - who was, according to your description, the same kind of personality.

      But something went wrong, and ever since then I was not able to see him in a positive light. This is exactly what I was trying to say with 'Liking someone or not has too much to do with chemicals and personal issues.' If someone hurt us, or managed to make us unhappy, a mere thought about them encourages the release of negative chemicals. That is why we are not even able to like someone who reminds us of someone who had made us unhappy. And that poor someone might be the most adorable person, but interpreted in a negative light by the person with issues.

      Liking or disliking others is such a complicated 'condition'. Therefor I try to stick to the rule of love: We can love our fellowman (by not doing to them what we don't want them to do to us), without necessarily liking them.

      Thanks for allowing the discussion. I am now linking this hub of yours to my hub titled, "What to do when people don't like you."

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Hi Eddy! Thanks so much for dropping by and your kind words. Thank you for the votes!! I hope you enjoy your day, too. :-)

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Hi Tina, I am so glad you enjoyed it. I know what you mean: I, of course, possess NONE of these traits either... Oh my, I think my husband just fell outta his chair. :-D

      Thanks for dropping by, voting, and sharing!! :-)

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      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      What a great share;wonderfully created ; well informed and voted up. Enjoy your day.

      Eddy.

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      Tina Truelove 4 years ago

      I love this, Sholland10! I laughed all the way through your hub because with every characteristic, I thought of someone else. Of course, I don't possess any of those traits! Haha. Your funny comments about each point kept me pulled into the article the entire time and your Amazon items and polls were nicely placed. This is a very well written hub! I look forward to reading more from you.

      Oh yes, voted up and sharing too!

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Hi PS! I so get your story about being called out for being annoyingly funny. Outta the mouths of babes. LOL Yep, been there, done that - try at all cost to avoid it now (unless it is my husband who I love to aggravate ;-)). I hope the article does help others and is not too offensive. :-)

      Thanks so much for dropping by!! I love that you send me Angels!! THANK YOU!! :-)

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Hi Martie, I am glad you found the hub interesting and relevant. You are right, people are going to like us or not. There may or may not be anything we can do about it. I just don't think we should be a pain in the butt to be around. LOL

      Now, I must get something straight. My husband is not hard to like for me. I love him and I like him. He is unapproachable to those who don't know him, which he doesn't care and I respect that. Those who do know him respect him and like him - I am not talking about people who might have worked for him. He was never one to fraternize with those he was in charge of (military), but most good bosses don't and he was well-respected by all. Nope, he isn't everybody's buddy, but he is my guy and I think he is SWELL! :-) I didn't mean to leave the impression that he is hard for those he loves to like him.

      Thanks so much for dropping by, for voting and the sharing!! :-)

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      Patricia Scott 4 years ago from sunny Florida

      Yeppie, there are certainly those that we do not wish to spend our time with. Of course, I am NOT one of those :) I hope.

      I know some who possess those traits you have listed and they don't know that they are the reason that others shy away from them. As I read it, I nodded going, "Oh, yes, I know this person."

      Somewhere in there is the person that when you see them coming you wish the earth would open up....or that you could evaporate because, while they are very lovely individuals you can NEVER ever ask them "How are you?" because they will tell you exactly how they are...in minute detail..from the time they were born!!!

      I was guilty of the 'annonyingly funny' until my nephew pointed out how it was annoying and to quit. I remember the exact date, June 3, 1979. It was my parent's 50th wedding anniversary. Before going to the party my daughter and I were singing a Kenny Rogers song.....with the words...."Ruby, don't take your love to town." We sang it over and over cackling harder and harder with each round. Finally my precious nephew kindly told us to knock it off...that it was funny once, twice and then after that just NOT.

      So thank goodness, long ago I was cured.

      there is merit in this article because maybe it will help some to take a look at their actions and maybe, just maybe decide they need to adjust a little.

      have a lovely day

      Angels are on the way to you ps

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Okay, Lela, so you're tellin' me it isn't funny?? Fine! Man, you gave me one I forgot - the "smell bad" angle. I could have yelled, "YOU STINK!" I am really glad you like people online with all these qualities. That means you like me!! Don't ask me how my day is because I have a story for you! Now I am just in a pissy mood and it is the WORLD'S fault, not mine. I am the apple in "everyone's" eye... (stop choking!)... ;-)

      LMAO! Thanks for dropping by!!

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      Martie Coetser 4 years ago from South Africa

      I am certainly guilty of some of these and i honestly try not to be. Yet I have learned to rather be my true self, because the people who don't like me will never like me, even when I stop irritating them. Liking someone or not has too much to do with chemicals and personal issues. Your hubby reminds me of my ex..... Hard to like, but love is blind any strong until it dies.

      Sholland, this is a very interesting topic very well covered by you. I am going to link it to my relevant hubs as soon as I am on my PC again. This is one of those issues that will always amaze and amuse me - the fact that people with shortcomings are liked by some and disliked by others. I have learned to rather be the best of myself among people who likes me than trying to please those who don't like me.

      10 Reasons why people don't like you voted up, interesting and well-explained :)

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      Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

      Ok, I really thought this was supposed to be FUNNY! but it turns out that you are totally serious. Seriously? People don't like me because I am rude, crude and probably smell bad. And, trust me, the feeling is mutual.

      I like people online just fine, though, and especially the ones with all of these great qualities.

      But there are probably 20 reasons that I'm not very likeable. I think Number 5 is the one that describes me the most. I really need to get a grip on that one.

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Kelly, you are my favorite sister AH!! I love you, MAN! HOTD, huh? I am just hoping not to get banned. Thanks for sharing and tell D I said we are damned funny girls and he best not forget it! ;-)

      Thanks for the votes and shares! MWAH! Was that too dramatic? WTH...

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      Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Damn it. I already read Dale's book, I'm still an AH! Haha

      Susan this is brilliant! It is really HOTD worthy. I was even glued to the polls...read every word laughing the entire time. Voting, sharing, G+, he'll I'm going to read it to my husband:)

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Thanks so much, Carter! I appreciate your votes and shares! :-)

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Stephanie, you are exceptionally funny and have the BEST stories. Don't you ever tell yourself otherwise!! :-D Go ahead and copy the hub, place it in some mailboxes, or better yet, knock on doors, drop it and RUN!! You can even leave my name on it. I don't care!!

      Thanks for the votes and shares and laughs! :-)

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Thanks, Bob! You're okay, too. ;-) You and my husband would be good friends. Your words mirror his. That's a compliment... not that you care... :-) I am so glad you dropped by and made me smile (and wiped that hard look off my face).

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Thanks, Sheri! I have people I won't ask, too. 1) They're just too negative for me, and 2) I don't care unless it is a REAL issue. :-)

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Hi Suzette! I feel the same way, most times. I am at that age that there are too many other things to worry about. I'm glad you got a chuckle... I do like to make people laugh. :-)

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      Mary 4 years ago from Cronulla NSW

      Great article my friend..helpful for many I'm sure..VUUI shared & tweeted..good job!!

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      Stephanie Henkel 4 years ago from USA

      You nailed it! How many people have more than one of these unlikeable qualities? I think I know too many of them! They probably don't like me, either. I don't know why not when I'm exceedingly funny and have better stories than they do ... oh, wait...

      Loved the article and wish I could slip into a few mailboxes with some items circled in red! Voted up and shared!

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      diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico

      I very rarely like anyone and don't really care what they think of me. Of course, life eventually gets you this way when you realize how many shits there are out there and when you recall all the times you have been shit on!

      You're OK!

      Bob

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      Sheri Dusseault 4 years ago from Chemainus. BC, Canada

      That was a good one. I have several aquaintances that I make a point to NEVER ask how they are, because they will tell me...in all their gloomy horrid detail. You have quite the sense of humor!

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      Suzette Walker 4 years ago from Taos, NM

      What a great hub and it made me chuckle. I know someone like everyone of your examples. lol. I just hope people like me, but at this age, honestly, if they don't I don't get bent out of shape about it. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. I just hope my strengths out weight the weakness in my personality. Voted up!

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Hi DuffsMom! I know, dang it!! It was like looking in the mirror when I wrote some of the words. I HATE when that happens! LOL

      I am glad you found it fun! Thanks so much for dropping by!

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      P. Thorpe Christiansen 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest, USA

      A very fun article but also full many truths! Enjoyed this and doggone it all found myself in a couple of the descriptions. Great job.

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Thanks, Carol! I am glad you enjoyed it. :-) I know we all have our faults, but we need to work on them if we identify them. You shouldn't feel bad when you are "doing" and others are not.

      Thanks for voting and sharing! :-)

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      carol stanley 4 years ago from Arizona

      I really enjoyed reading this and find people with these habits that still have people clamoring after them. I like to think I am a good listener, approachable and optimistic. I have to hold back telling people what I do as they will feel badly that they do very little. Well written, good photos and voting up and sharing.

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Oh, you bet, Bill!! LOL Actually, those are old pics. We are constantly taking silly pictures. Shhh... they don't know I used them. LOL

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I assume those were your kids helping with the pictures. Great job...they looked like they enjoyed the different poses. Love the ten items and I know people who fit in each of them. Good thing you and I are perfect, huh, Susan? LOL

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      Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Thanks, FitnessPro! I thought about posting my own picture for the unapproachable look, but I was afraid I would scare off readers. LOL And, I know, how do you interrupt someone who talks constantly? I guess it is no more rude than them not knowing when or how to be quiet. ;-)

      Thanks for dropping by!! :-)

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      Dana Gore 4 years ago

      Great post. I can relate to #3. Like you, I have to intentionally smile or I am confused as being unapproachable, even though it isn't intentional. #6 is another good point. Sometimes you never know when it's appropriate to "interrupt" to either answer a question or simply add something to the conversation.

      Thanks for writing!