Why We Need Friends

Do we really need friends? The Beatles sang, "I get by with a little help from my friends." And CS Lewis says, "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art...it has no survival value;..."

However, we must also take note, that CS Lewis clarifies his first words by saying at the end of the quote that, friendship "...is one of those things that give value to survival."

So we need friends not because our life depends on them but because our quality of life improves with them around. Do you agree with this?

As Stephen Richards says: "When we make friends then we change from being animals to being human." Isn't that beautiful? That's real quality isn't it?

"A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the view. " This quote comes from Wilma Askinas, a grandmother author.

Elbert Hubbard says almost the same thing in his quote, "A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same."

While Jim Morrison says it in a slightly different way, "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself."

So, if we put the three quotes together then we can say, ... a friend is someone who knows us thoroughly, warts and all, yet still loves us and and gives us space to be our own self.

Wow! That is so heartwarming!

Friends make us feel good just by being there. We know we can always count on them to share with us not only our happy occasions but more so our sad ones. They are always around when we need them.

However, if they cannot be with us, they are always with us in spirit as what L.M. Montgomery said in this quote below.

Richard Bach, the author of "Jonathan Livingstone Seagull", has an even enigmatic way of describing this special connection between friends in this quote..."can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?"

Friends have a positive effect on us. This is shown by the way several authors describe or compare friends to.

From an unknown author... "Friends are like rainbows. They brighten your life after you've gone through a storm. "

Rainbows always seem magical to me. So this would imply that friends can also be magical.

Another unknown author says that, "friends uplift the soul."

We all love receiving presents, don't we? Well, Robert Louis Stevenson says, "a friend is a present you give to yourself."

Still another unknown author said... "Friends are flowers in the garden of life."

Flowers are always so beautiful no matter what angle we look at them. So, no matter what angle we look at our friends, they will always be beautiful to us if we agree that "friends are flowers".

With all these beautiful things being said about friends, don't you just feel like calling your friend or hugging him/her?

As I write this, I just felt like writing to my friends too! And I am definitely going to do that as soon as I post this.

When I asked some people to give me names of famous friends, both real and fictional, David and Jonathan of the Bible came on top of the list. Frodo and Sam of the "Lord of the Rings" came in second and Calvin and Hobbes came in third.

However, I just had a small sample group, so this ranking does not really count much. I am sure that this ranking and the names will also differ based on the age group and even the educational background of the group. So I will not put much weight on this.

When I used Google to search for famous friends, I came up with so many different lists that depended mainly on the interest of the person making the list. So just to make it easier for me to sort out through the lists, I decided to make categories. I listed at least four or five sets of names in each category. So here goes....

Famous Friends in the Bible

· David and Jonathan

· Ruth and Naomi

· Jesus and Peter

· Paul and Barnabas

Famous Friends in Literature

· Harry, Hermione and Ron

· Sherlock Holmes and Watson

· Frodo and Sam

· Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn

Famous Friends in Cartoons

· Calvin and Hobbes

· Batman and Robin

· Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble

· Peter Pan and Tinkerbell

· Woody and Buzz (Toy Story)

Famous Friends in Movies/TV

· Starsky and Hutch (Starsky and Hutch)

· Hans Solo and Chewbacca (Star Wars)

· Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha (Sex and the City)

· Blanche, Dorothy, Rose and Sofia (Golden Girls)

Famous Friends in Music/Sports/Business

· Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel (Bridge Over Troubled Water)

· Paul McCartney and John Lennon (most of the Beatles songs)

· Martina Navratilova and Chris Evert (tennis)

· Oprah and Gale King (business partners)

If you can think of other categories and come up with at least four sets of names, then please share them here.

Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., a psychologist, writes 15 reasons on why we need friends in Psychology Today.

Essentially, she says that we grow with our friends and they help shape our lives. She coined the term "friendfluence" to describe how friends influence us. Here are the 15 reasons she mentioned. I would suggest though that you read the original article for a detailed explanation.

1. "Friendfluence affects you in more ways than you realize.
2. Friends can give you vital life skills
3. Childhood friendships start your learning process
4. Teen friendships shape your later romantic bonds
5. Friends can help you define your priorities
6. Having friends can help you get more friends
7. Close friends support you through thick and thin
8. Friends can make you miserable too
9. You’re less lonely when you have friends
10. Your online friends can steer your thoughts and behaviors
11. Friends matter to you, regardless of gender
12. Couple friendships can help your own relationship
13. Friends can give you a reality check
14. Banding together with friends can help you effect social change
15. Being a friend helps your friends"

There are many other reasons why we need friends and some of the most common ones are:

• to share things with - our joys, sorrows, dreams, fears, mistakes, strengths, weaknesses, - anything and everything

When we share with friends, our joys are usually multiplied and our sorrows are divided; our fears become manageable and mistakes become bearable.

According to a Chinese Proverb,

...even water drunk together is sweet enough.

This is so true. Haven't we enjoyed countless cups of coffee or plates of sandwiches with friends?

...the same shared story and joke told over and over still elicits the same laughter.

I still remember a college friend with whom I shared the same stories and jokes dozens of times. Every time we retell the stories, we would still laugh out loud the same way as if we heard them for the first time.

• balance

Friends help us see the other side of any equation. They provide balance to our views and opinions that can sometimes be skewed.

For example, in the Lennon and McCartney tandem, John Lennon has this to say about their friendship and partnership,

"He (Paul McCartney) provided a lightness, an optimism, while I would always go for the sadness, the dischords, the bluesy notes".

• · unconditional support

Unconditional support coupled with sacrifice is exemplified by the friendship between Frodo and Sam in the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy. We are so familiar with all the hardships they went through.

These are just some reasons why we need friends. I'm sure we can add some more to this list. Suffice it to say that the world is really much better because of friends.

With true friends...we may even disagree about certain things, but we respect each others opinion.

With true friends... we can be silly and make mistakes, but we do not judge each other.

That's what friends are for! That's what true friendship is!