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Why Women Are Commitment-Phobia Challenged?

Updated on February 17, 2010

Will You Love Me Forever?

Men have long standing records regarding problems with commitment. But, women are now rising within the ranks of commitment-phobia. Within the United States today, there are approximately 47 single women. Among these 47 million single women, 22 million are between the ages of 24 and 44.

For years, fingers have been pointed at men for their fear of commitment. But, the women of today are avoiding commitment just as often, if not more, than single men in today'society.

So, what's the reason for non-commitment, ladies? Commitment takes a lot of work and dedication. Devoting oneself, totally, to another human involves many personal choices and changes. Commitment involves complete attention (sexual and mental) and being faithful through thick and thin. When relationships are new, dedication and devotion does not seem to be a big deal. You're in love!

But, as time goes by, personalities, illness, or responsibilities can get in the way. Personal strife and hardships happen within every relationship, but can cause it to crack and crumble. Many times it's the tiny things that create the biggest hurdles.

Relationships have fallen apart for innumerable things. Seemingly simple things, such as, squeezing a toothpaste tube in the middle, forgetting to put the toilet seat down, to snoring have caused relationships to fall apart. Other issues, such as, infidelity, flirting, or undependable actions can trigger distrust and destroy a once loving and happy relationship. Money, excessive drinking, abuse, even innocent babies can shatter a once strong foundation.

Whatever the reasons, fear of divorce, financial independence, personal freedom, or delayed motherhood, women in today's world no longer feel the urgency, or necessity, to settle down. Today's woman is self-assured, resourceful, and educated, and many do not feel the need to be tied to one man, or restricted by relationship requirements or pressures.

Why women are shying away from commitment does not come with easy answers. There are as many reasons as single women. Some reasons are justifiable, while others seem trivial. But, commitment-phobia is real, and some signs that indicate commitment-phobic are:

You have a list of requirements expected from an ideal mate.

Your relationships are short-lived.

The lives of your married friends seem boring and mundane.

You get involved with 'unavailable' men.

You back out of plans at the last minute, and avoid rescheduling.

You've had numerous traumatic relationships.

You choose career goals over relationships.

You become bored or irritated, and rarely consider the other person's feelings.

The grass seems greener on the other side of the fence.

If you can't be center-stage at all times, you feel rejected.

You easily get jealous or argumentative.

You need to receive, but find it hard to give or compromise.

It's all about 'you!'  Your problems, successes, and needs are the most important.


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    • ivori profile imageAUTHOR

      Barbara Eisenberg 

      8 years ago from Titusville

      Thanks for your comment, CM!

    • carolina muscle profile image

      carolina muscle 

      8 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      Yes, I'm afraid this is a strong trend in society today. As a male, I can say the same reasons you gave for women apply to men pretty much, too. Very interesting post, Ivori!


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