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Why Do We Need to Get Hurt to Change?

Updated on April 21, 2013

Why we need to get hurt

I was surprised when my child asked me, "Is it necessary to hurt?" My answer is yes. Hurting is growing emotionally. Like a seed, your feelings need to dry up and break apart in order to grow a new shoot. The shoot grows inch by inch through time. Nurturing it everyday allows the roots to develop. Its stem will grow taller and stronger too. In time, like the seed, your feelings and emotions will soon mature.

The adage "my way or the highway" usually gets you to the road of nowhere. Your old ways doesn't necessarily mean it is correct. Your strategy in life before could be effective, but people also evolve as the years goes by. From time to time, everybody needs a reality check. Does the constantly changing world affect your life? As my mother states, "to help with your emotional maturity, keep company with the wise and you will become wise!" Wisdom will the withstand the test of time.

Along the path, you will meet many self-proclaimed teachers - family members, friends, strangers, spouse, partner, professor, politicians, clerics, colleagues, books, movies, on-line friends, and many, many more. Be careful who to follow. Don't be misled by all sorts of advises.

Though each person has its unique situation, there are 7 common reasons why you have to change:

- You change because the old situation doesn't matter so much anymore.

- You change because you found your better self.

- You change because you are ready to do so.

- You change because you want succeed.

- You change because you learned.

- You change because you have developed patience.

- You change because you now understand.

In the process of hurting, nurture yourself without giving up your dignity and self-respect. Be ready by the time you look back, you will be proud of how you handled the situation. Don't be afraid to ask for advise and help from a trusted person. There is no age limit to learning, because learning is a continuing process. Most important of all, you are protecting yourself and doing your best to rise above the situation.

Choose to be your better self

You are hurt by someone whom you consider important. They say, chances are the person who has hurt you feels the same way too. The constant pain you feel "numbs" your emotions. This numbness helps you grow and open many of your emotional doors - understanding, anger, acceptance, regret, relief and wisdom. Let it be an opportunity to pave the way to find your truer self.

In the crossroads, step back and take time to assess your situation. Drastic decisions usually become a bigger mistake in the end. When you are hurt the deepest, your mind is dark and clouded the most. Before acting on your hurt feelings, figure out first the best recourse. Claim the freedom to choose your better self! Sometimes you just need to get hurt in order to change for good.

Learning to grow up emotionally is a process. Stay on the right track and be a person who will inspire somebody today.

Disclaimer: I am not a personal therapist. I am only sharing personal experiences.

Copyright © 2012 The Girls. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without permission prohibited.



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    • the girls profile imageAUTHOR

      Theresa Ventu 

      9 years ago from Los Angeles, California

      Thank you denise.w.anderson for stopping by! I appreciate your comment. Your personal view on strength and courage to change the world is remarking. :-)

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      9 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      That is an interesting commentary on life, the fact that we have to be hurt before we change. I remember hearing the quote, "He who is content has everything." Not being a content person myself, I quickly shot back, "He who is not content changes the world!" Pain gives us the motivation to do something different. Thanks for the reminder!

    • the girls profile imageAUTHOR

      Theresa Ventu 

      9 years ago from Los Angeles, California

      Thank you for stopping by Lord de Cross! Your comment brings a nice laugh, again :-)

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 

      9 years ago from New York

      I agree with the rest. Our human condition is always evolving, and unfortunately we will make mistakes and get the blame from "Life." So true! Now I have to go and turn off that frying pan with oil; I might have to call 911 otherwise. "Yes! What's your emergency?"

    • the girls profile imageAUTHOR

      Theresa Ventu 

      9 years ago from Los Angeles, California

      Thank you sammimills for sharing your thoughts and voting up on my hub. I appreciate it :-)

    • sammimills profile image


      9 years ago from California, USA

      I like your hub! Voted this UP. It's true, overcoming pain could make us a better person. More mature and wise.

    • the girls profile imageAUTHOR

      Theresa Ventu 

      9 years ago from Los Angeles, California

      I agree MsLofton. It takes courage to face our purpose. Thank you for stopping by :-)

    • MsLofton profile image


      9 years ago from IL

      I love this because it is so true! Most definitely we need to get hurt in order to change, our pain is our purpose.


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