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Why Do We Need to Get Hurt to Change?
Why we need to get hurt
I was surprised when my child asked me, "Is it necessary to hurt?" My answer is yes. Hurting is growing emotionally. Like a seed, your feelings need to dry up and break apart in order to grow a new shoot. The shoot grows inch by inch through time. Nurturing it everyday allows the roots to develop. Its stem will grow taller and stronger too. In time, like the seed, your feelings and emotions will soon mature.
The adage "my way or the highway" usually gets you to the road of nowhere. Your old ways doesn't necessarily mean it is correct. Your strategy in life before could be effective, but people also evolve as the years goes by. From time to time, everybody needs a reality check. Does the constantly changing world affect your life? As my mother states, "to help with your emotional maturity, keep company with the wise and you will become wise!" Wisdom will the withstand the test of time.
Along the path, you will meet many self-proclaimed teachers - family members, friends, strangers, spouse, partner, professor, politicians, clerics, colleagues, books, movies, on-line friends, and many, many more. Be careful who to follow. Don't be misled by all sorts of advises.
Though each person has its unique situation, there are 7 common reasons why you have to change:
- You change because the old situation doesn't matter so much anymore.
- You change because you found your better self.
- You change because you are ready to do so.
- You change because you want succeed.
- You change because you learned.
- You change because you have developed patience.
- You change because you now understand.
In the process of hurting, nurture yourself without giving up your dignity and self-respect. Be ready by the time you look back, you will be proud of how you handled the situation. Don't be afraid to ask for advise and help from a trusted person. There is no age limit to learning, because learning is a continuing process. Most important of all, you are protecting yourself and doing your best to rise above the situation.
Choose to be your better self
You are hurt by someone whom you consider important. They say, chances are the person who has hurt you feels the same way too. The constant pain you feel "numbs" your emotions. This numbness helps you grow and open many of your emotional doors - understanding, anger, acceptance, regret, relief and wisdom. Let it be an opportunity to pave the way to find your truer self.
In the crossroads, step back and take time to assess your situation. Drastic decisions usually become a bigger mistake in the end. When you are hurt the deepest, your mind is dark and clouded the most. Before acting on your hurt feelings, figure out first the best recourse. Claim the freedom to choose your better self! Sometimes you just need to get hurt in order to change for good.
Learning to grow up emotionally is a process. Stay on the right track and be a person who will inspire somebody today.
Disclaimer: I am not a personal therapist. I am only sharing personal experiences.
Copyright © 2012 The Girls. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without permission prohibited.
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