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Why did she break up with me? Reasons why your girlfriend broke up with you

Updated on June 16, 2012

"Why did she break up with me?" "Why did she dump me despite my love for her?" "I can't understand what I did wrong in my relationship" If these questions are bothering you till no end, this post will help you find your elusive answers. Sometimes relationships fall apart because of little things that take a toll over time. So if you are a boyfriend with a broken heart, read on and find the reason why your girlfriend broke up with you.

Were you a fun guy to hang out with?
Were you a fun guy to hang out with? | Source

1) Are you fun to hang out with?

Just like you expect your girlfriend to be a fun girl to hang out with, she expects you to be a fun guy to hang out with too. Were you willing to try out the new things that she was suggesting? Did you carry a smile on your face and did things that brought a smile on hers? Did you carry a fun personality as opposed to a serious and boring one? During your relationship, did you consciously attempt to do fun things with your girlfriend?

What thoughts come to your mind when you ask yourselves these questions? If you think that you have been a dull and boring boyfriend, you may have very well ruined your chances with the girl you've always wanted to be with. Rather than regret, take it as a lesson that you've learnt from your past relationship and be a fun guy to hang out with.

2) Were you too possessive about your girlfriend?

Did you expect your girlfriend to call you every day and night? Did you expect her to call you and give you continuous updates about where she went and who she went out with? Did you stop her from going out with her guy friends? Did you feel jealous every time she spoke to a male friend? Did you interfere too much in your girlfriend's life? Did you have a list of do's and don'ts that you expected her to adhere to?

If you did any of these things obsessively, your overtly possessive nature may have been the reason why she broke up with you. It is perfectly normal for partners to be possessive about each other. In fact, a total lack of possessiveness may be a bad sign. However just like everything else in life, moderation is the key when it comes to being possessive about your girlfriend.

3) Did you stand up for her?

Girlfriends expect their boyfriends to stand up for them, whether it is during a discussion or a heated argument with someone else. Similarly, boyfriends should expect their girlfriends to do the same. To elaborate further, if your girlfriend gets into a silly argument with someone else, you would probably be looking at diplomatically supporting her even if she is wrong. Once within the confines of your car or home, you can explain to her that she was wrong. But in public, your support means the world to her.

Have you been doing this? Have you shown your willingness to support your girlfriend and stand by her when she needs you? If you haven't, it may have put her off from continuing her relationship with you. It is only human to expect our close ones to support us and stand by our side when things go wrong. And if you think that you didn't do the same, it could have been the reason why your girlfriend broke up with you.

Even verbal abuse can have a devastating effect on not only your relationship but also the person on the receiving end.
Even verbal abuse can have a devastating effect on not only your relationship but also the person on the receiving end. | Source

4) Did you verbally or physically abuse her?

Verbal or physical abuse can take a toll on a relationship over time, just like how termites slowly eat up a block of wood. The repercussion of even the slightest verbal abuse may not be immediate, but in the long run it can have a snowball effect. Same goes for physical abuse, whether it is a slight push on the shoulder or something more serious. If you find yourself guilty of either, your girlfriend may have dumped you because of that.

The ironic thing about verbal and physical abuse is that most of the times, the abuser does not even realize the amount of emotional and physical turmoil he/she is putting the victim through. What may seem minuscule in the eye of the abuser may in fact be clawing in to the victim's heart, mind and soul.

5) Do you display the slightest of chivalry?

Did you think that chivalry is a thing of the past? Not at all. The 21st century woman expects her guy to be chivalrous in some ways. Chivalry is also one of the things that high school girls look for in a guy's behavior, although they may not explicitly term it so. While a girlfriend does not expect her boyfriend to open doors and pull up chairs for her all the time, she will definitely expect her guy to show some courtesy once in a while.

After all, just like it is every guy's dream to have a girlfriend comparable to a Victoria's Secret model, a girl too would love it if her guy displayed a gentleman's manners once in a while. While you are not expected to be the knight in shining armor all the time, a lack of show of special affection for your lady love may have been the reason why your girlfriend broke up with you.

6) Have you been a clingy and needy boyfriend?

A clingy partner can make even the most stable of relationships a frustrating ordeal. If you were pestering your girlfriend to hang out with you all the time and tagged along with her everywhere she went, you may have come across as too clingy.

While you may have not realized it, your compulsive urge to be around her all the time may have come across as overtly needy behavior. Just like boyfriends demand "Give us some space", girlfriends need their alone time too. So think about it, were you annoyingly omnipresent in every moment of your girlfriend's life?

Were you not the type of guy she expected you to be?
Were you not the type of guy she expected you to be? | Source

7) Were you the type of boyfriend she was expecting?

To err is human, they say. We all make mistakes at judging people. Sometimes the facade that many of us put up to impress others may disappear once we reach a certain level of familiarity and comfort with them. The same could have happened to you when you started dating your girlfriend immediately. She may have started going out with you only to later realize that you were just not the type of boyfriend she was expecting to have.

The fact that your girlfriend may have envisaged a different type of person as her partner could have been the reason why she broke up with you. And if that is really the case, there is nothing to feel bad about. Just move on, hoping that the next person you meet turns out to be the damsel you have always been waiting for!

8) Did you and your girlfriend share similar interests and personality traits?

Sometimes it is just the lack of common interests that drives two people apart. Every relationship starts with a honeymoon period when romantic dates are followed by naughty times inside and outside the bedroom. Once that phase has gone by, a relationship may not survive if the interests and overall personality of the guy and the girl are poles apart.

You and your girlfriend may have given it your best shot to adjust to each others' likes and dislikes but sometimes the difference in overall personality is just too much to narrow down to a common point. So before asking yourself the question "Why did my girlfriend break up with me?", ask yourself "Did I have anything in common with my girlfriend at all?"

9) Were you a dominating boyfriend?

It is generally okay to have a slightly dominating personality. However some people cross the line and become overtly dominating in relationships. They literally expect to have a leash over each and every element of their partners' behavior. And the worst part is that people who have been too dominating may not even realize that their almost oppressive behavior is causing the relationship to break apart. Because from their perspective, they are actually helping their partners to be better persons.

Did you unknowingly become a dominating boyfriend? Did you tell your girlfriend things like what to do, what to say, how to speak, what to wear, what not to wear, how to behave and some such? Did you assume that you were helping her by asking her to live the way you wanted her to live? While you may have meant it in a good way, demanding things like these again and again could have made you look like a person who wants his partner to be submissive to all his whims and fancies. This overtly controlling nature could have been the reason why your girlfriend broke up with you, as that would have been the only way for her to stop being taken for granted all the time.


10) Did you ask for too many sexual favors?

Did you expect your girlfriend to become a porn star in bed? Did you impose unnecessarily pressure of performance or expectation in bed? Did you demand sex even when your girlfriend wasn't in the mood? Did you expect her to satisfy you every time you had the urge to get laid?

These are some of the questions that you may want to ask yourself to determine if your excessive sexual advances may have been the reason why your girlfriend dumped you. Girls love physical intimacy no less than guys, but there is a way to it. If you have been unapologetically demanding in the bedroom all the time, your girlfriend may have had enough of it.

Note: This post is specifically about possible reasons why a girlfriend may have dumped her boyfriend. In no way is it gender biased or sexist. The same points can relate to either partner.


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    • Grim Master profile image

      Grim Master 5 years ago from Below the Earth

      Good article. Emotional commitment is a must for a relationship.

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 5 years ago

      Great hub! I wanted to add that sometimes people just grow apart.

    • Angela Brummer profile image

      Angela Brummer 5 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

      This is really good information! Is there an all of these above for some dudes? I will share!

    • Ajay Mathews profile image

      Ajay Mathews 5 years ago

      i really liked your hub. It is true !! helpful ..!! keep up the good work