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Why do good people end up with bad ones?

Updated on August 10, 2015

“What on earth is the matter with the world?"

I’ve seen on many occasions and at times (without being vain) have lived it too – a good hearted, kind or just generally “nice” individual ends up with their exact opposite. They end up in a relationship with someone who treats them badly, cheats on them, is abusive towards them or generally does in no way treat them the way they should be treated.

I find myself looking at the situation or the individuals and thinking “what on earth is the matter with the world?"

Is it true that opposites attract?

In an ideal world everything would be even; The good would be with the good and the bad with the bad.
Why couldn’t the cheaters end up together and mess each other about, lie to each other and make idiots out of each other, while the good people commit to each other and live happily ever after?
Is it really the case that opposites attract? Is that why so many “bad” people end up with “good” ones? Or is it nature balancing out the scales?
Maybe too much good or bad in one place would cause a catastrophic event and for these reasons each relationship has to be somewhere in the middle.
Yes, sometimes the scales tip to a little more bad or a little more good in a relationship when the bad and good is added up and averaged out, but generally there is more or less of a balance compared to if two bad or two good people were together.


Is it just a coincidence?

Maybe I’m looking into this too deeply and maybe it’s just a coincidence. Maybe it’s due to individuality and differences but from observing numerous relationships I’ve noticed that one person always treats the other at least a little better than what they’re being treated. Sometimes it’s the obvious case of: In every relationship one person always loves more.

Would you consider yourself the one who loves MORE or LESS in your current relationship?

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Double Standards in Relationships

Are double standards ever okay? Why is it okay for one person in a relationship to be allowed a certain behaviour or action but the other not? Are relationships not supposed to be a two way street? Or is it all part of the one person "loving more"?

It may seem to make little sense but in all actuality there are numerous couples where one person will talk down to the other, interrupt the other, belittle or 'shush' them or in some way or another humiliate them in public, but if the other were to ever do anything close to that, it would be a total deal breaker.
Similarly one person may be allowed to associate with, socialise with or even flirt with members of the opposite sex while the other is barred from it completely.

Why is this? Why is it that one person can be so afraid of loosing the other that they will tolerate so much from them? Is it love at its most extreme or is it a case of weighing out the odds and eventually one day in the future this person will realise that "enough is enough", call it quits and walk away forever? Could that be the reason why according to US Statistics, the average marriage which ends in divorce is after as many as 8 years?

But is it fair at all?

I look at relationships and I see how people treat each other. It literally infuriates me when I see one person going above and beyond for the other while the other is either disrespectful, rude, inconsiderate or completely ungrateful for anything the other does. Sometimes they treat the other badly, sometimes they proceed in flirting with other people or taking the other for granted. Regardless, I look at the situation and I think “What on earth is wrong with you? If I were with your partner I would worship the ground they walked on! Good partners are becoming harder and harder to find - you do not deserve what you have!”

Maybe the saying reigns true – Good Guys / Girls Finish Last.

Why Good Girls Like Bad Boys


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      3 years ago

      Each of us gets to (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      If someone is having one bad relationship after another it's probably time for them to re-examine their "mate selection criteria".

      The only thing in common with all of their bad relationships is (them).

      For example some women go through a "bad boy" phase.

      "We adore those who ignore us and ignore those who adore us."

      I've often said you can stick such a woman in a room with five men and have four of them down on their knees extending their heart out towards her while the 5th guy sits in a corner sipping a cocktail acting as if she does not exist.

      That will be the guy she wants to get to know!

      He's seen as a mystery or a challenge. She'll have to earn his attention, win his heart, and if other women are into him she relishes the competition because it must mean he is worth more than the others.

      "Nice guys" have always been attracted to the cheerleader or "Hot looking" women and "nice girls" have always been attracted to the confident strappingly handsome guys. The belief is if they can "get someone" that everyone wants it means they must be "special" too.

      Lots of "nice guys" complain about "hot looking" women who go after jerks and lots of "nice women" are regulated to giving dating advice to men who they want to date!

      My guess is many people put their best mate potential people in "The Friend Zone". Everyone knows a guy or girl who is "sweet", "honest", "caring", "trustworthy" and so on who they would never want to date or marry! He or she doesn't make their heart skip a beat. They don't feel like there is any "chemistry" or sexual arousal whenever they are together.

      At some point many of eventually let go of the "bad boy/girl" phase after experiencing several heartaches and disappointments. We finally "settle" for someone who "looks good on paper" over the kind of person we're naturally attracted to because we realize it's what is best for us.

      "If you want something different (you) have to do something different."

      Some people on the other hand never learn or refuse to change their mate selection criteria. They'd rather complain about the "type" they keep pursuing or allowing into their life while not taking any responsibility for saying "yes" to them. The love the "blame game"!

      Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!


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