ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Why does love fade over time?

Updated on August 6, 2015

Simon and Garfunkle's tribute to fading love

April come she will

Many love stories tell tales of the brilliance of love and the pain of its decline.  One has to wonder how we would have so many stories if it weren't for heartbreak.  The high and euphoria of early love make everything seem so promissing.  Despite this, people go through many relatiosnhips and many breakups over and over again.  It is rare to find someone whose first attempt at lifelong love was their final, successful attempt at lifelong love.  Simon and Garfunkle immortalized this in their song "April Come She Will".  Why then do we continue to be so hopeful time and time again when so often love fades?  Also, why does love fade when it can seem so promissing?

Love potion number 9

When one first falls in love there is a tremendous high.  Some liken this euphoria to the high of drugs.  In many ways, these people are correct.    When we first fall in love our bodies release chemicals such as PEA (phenylethylalamine).  The effects of this chemical last between 6 months - 5 years.  This chemical can supplant genuine affection and cooperation, but, once the body has become accustomed to it, the relationship will die if strong bonds have not not been forged.  Before this time, adrenaline and endorphins reign.  This is why new lovers can thrive on little sleep and are bursting with energy.  This is also why some people flit from relationship to relationship.  They are endorphin junkies.  They are constantly seeking the next surge of chemicals from the next partner.

We are only what our situations hand us

When we first fall in love we only see parts of our partners.  We are not with them on a day to day basis.  The realities of changing cat boxes and grumpiness from life's every stressors have not kicked in.  The longer a couple is together the more the partners learn about each other.  In time the mundane realities of life and the frustrating challenges will begin to show.  It is when you can see your partner and know what really bugs you about them that you are beginning to know what you might see in the future.  A couple does well to examine the flaws and the realities and decide logically if these problems will be a pebble in the shoe.  When you can accept that love does not conquer everything you are on your way to understanding your partner well enough to have an inkling about what the future may bring.  If you analyze your realationship and the "yeah butts" are giving you serious pause, you need to consider a pause in the relationship.

Thinking it over

When one begins to be truthful with themselves in a relationship they will be able to make decisions with a clear mind. This is important as the choices made in a relationship can affect the couple, the individuals, families, and children. If things seem wrong, they likely are. Don't get married just because the wedding was planned when the realities began to hit. Divorces are painful. Mutual, peaceful divorces are rare. Breakups can also be very destructive, especially in a long standing relationship or one with children involved.

On the other hand, just because love is changing doesn't mean that the relationship is doomed. The euphoria will fade and when it does, there may be a wonderful partnership that has forged. Don't take the loss of chemistry as a sign of doomsday.  Equally important, don't take the chemistry of sexual interactions for love. Above all of that, know that you can heal and use your past wisdom to love again if you keep your heart open.  Not all euphoria ends in heartbreak.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      buddhaanalysis 

      4 years ago

      I believe that there is no diff. bet human and animals. It's just biological attraction but human isn't ready to understand it.

    • Lwelch profile imageAUTHOR

      Lena Welch 

      9 years ago from USA

      Maia - thanks for your comment. This Hub was a total whim to answer a question. I hope that it was a fun as well as philosophical read.

    • profile image

      maia 

      9 years ago

      The euphoria will fade and when it does, there may be a wonderful partnership that has forged.

      --- i think so. i agree.

    • sheenarobins profile image

      sheenarobins 

      9 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      very nice hub. Thanks for the enlightenment. ;)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)