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Why it's Okay to not Be "That" Girl

Updated on September 6, 2015

Intro...

Let's face it. Not all of us are blessed with the extra gene that makes you irresistible to the opposite gender. Most girls like me do fine. I mean it's not like we've accepted that our fate is to become lonely old women with 30 cats. We're not really drop-dead gorgeous but we're no Hunchback of Notre-Dames either. And, most of the time, we're perfectly content falling somewhere in between. We're comfortable here. We have one or two guys every now and then that seem genuinely interested and that's good enough for us. The problem arises when we fall head over heels for him. You know exactly who I'm talking about-tall, with kind eyes and a heart-melting smile. Yea,him. And you hang out with him and you guys always seem to have a great time and you're convinced you have a remotely solid chance with him until you realize that you're just a filler. A friend-zoned casualty of love. Because he's into her.-That girl. The one who somehow wakes up every morning with sunshine pouring out of her mouth instead of morning breath and always looks more gorgeous than Kim Kardashian even when she's not wearing any makeup. The girl that always know the exact right thing to say and when to say it. That girl that can literally get away with murder just by batting her unnaturally long eyelashes.-that girl. And for the first time, you realize how utterly unfair life can be. It hits you that no matter how hard you try, you will never be...her. And for a split second you think, maybe it's not so great being just,you.

Now What?

The worst case scenario, that girl is not just the one who stole the guy you were planning to have 2 kids and a dog with. But she's also one of your closest friends. And, after a while, you begin to see a pattern of the guys you like gravitating toward her. After some time, you even become scared to introduce them to her. It's sad,but true. So what are you going to do? You can't very well ask her to stop being so..her. And you also can't continue to sit idly by while your heart gets crushed over and over again. The solution? nothing. You're going to want to change yourself. I mean,after all,she makes it look so easy. Why shouldn't it work for you too? You think you'll just dress a little sexier, wear a little more makeup, look up some flirting tips and voila! Then you'll be just as that girl as the actual that girl. So you try. And try. And try again. But none of it works. The nail polish, the cliche chick flicks, the fake giggles-none of it works! If anything, you're worse off than before because you're still not her and now, you're not even you. Which is why you should take it from someone who's been there-don't do it to yourself. It's nothing but a huge waste of time and energy and it will only leave you with a big bucket of disappointment.

The Plot Twist!

I'm sure by now, a lot of you are thinking," Well thanks a lot. Not I'm still in my horrible situation PLUS I'm depressed because there's apparently no solution." That is not what I said. I said to do nothing. However, it's not for the reason that you think. I don't recommend doing nothing as a sign of surrender. I recommend doing nothing because you have absolutely no good reason to change who you are. "Um, yea I do. We just discussed my predicament of always getting bypassed because of ,well..her."This may be true, but if there's one thing I've learned it's that you are you for a reason. The LAST thing this world needs (other than nuclear warfare) is a bunch of insecure girls desperately trying to be someone else. One thing it took me waaayyy too long to grasp is that just because someone else is beautiful does not mean that you aren't. Sure, you may feel like you're not getting as much attention. That may even be true. But you will. Why would you want to be with a guy that's shallow enough to ditch a good thing just because the packaging on another one is a bit shinier? Trust me, the one that truly deserves you will allow nothing, and I mean NOTHING, to deter him from the persistent pursuit of your affections. YOU are beautiful. YOU are smart. YOU are worth it. And her? don't worry about her. She has her own problems. Imagine how exhausting it must be to always be perfect and witty and wonderful.-I have no problem accepting that that's not my lot in life. And you should too. I know it's hurts now, but trust me. One day you will look back on these times and laugh while you squeeze the hand of the man who fought for YOU-normal,ordinary, girl-next-door, absolutely irreplaceable...you.

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