ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Why Not Choose Love?

Updated on May 4, 2017
The Polyamory Flag
The Polyamory Flag

So it seems you’re undergoing the same journey I went on the last couple of years. You're in a relationship, you love your partner, but you’re also falling for someone else. I bet you’re feeling confused or maybe even a little disgusted at yourself? Well I'm here to say you don't have to be.

See, the reason you're feeling like this is because society says you have to.

A Brief History

In ancient Briton and most of Europe, polyamorous relationships were normal and well accepted in society. In the UK, bigamy (the act of a man having multiple marriages with or without the knowledge of the involved parties) was outlawed in 1604 and has remained an offence right through until today. To examine a little of the history behind this, it was outlawed because it was seen many men took this as an opportunity, as divorce followed by remarriage was illegal. As such many men took advantage of a legal loophole, and married a second time without divorcing. The original intent of disallowing divorce followed by remarriage was of course a construct by the church to keep things within their moral guidelines. Remember, this was a time when the church was very much in control of people's lives and society as a whole. Had men been able to divorce then remarry, this situation would never have arisen.

As we know, things that were made law, tend to stay law unless there is mass public outcry. Sadly, the church's teachings of one man one woman have stuck with us, even in a time where the church's influence wanes and society becomes much more accepting. Fast forward to today, and look at our modern day society. You can get married and divorced practically same day. Wedding ceremonies are affairs of social standing and displays of wealth. You can even attend a drive through wedding. Things have most definitely changed. But that's because the majority wanted in. Polyamorous people are not a majority in UK society, and likely never will be. The only societies which embrace polyamorous relationships are Islamic societies, and unfortunately Western Culture rejects anything of Islamic origin as foreign and wrong (with obvious liberal exceptions). Thankfully, though it is not legal for polyamorous groups to marry, we are at least allowed to exist and don't face mass outcry in public.

Looking to the Future

So the reason we think it's wrong, is because society has told us too for hundreds of years. It takes a lot of time to undo that kind of damage and change even our own opinions. Had someone told me when I was younger that I'd be in a relationship with two amazing guys, I'd have laughed them away and never have thought more of it. I only ever sought one partner, the one who I would live my life with. Three years into my relationship with the one, as a total shock to myself, I found the one again. The man who gives me butterflies every time I look at him, the one who I can't stop thinking about, and the man I intend on spending my life with. Imagine my confusion, in love with two people at the same time.

Now, I was very lucky in that my current partner felt the same way about this new guy as I did, and he liked both of us very much. I won't lie, this is a bit of a goldilocks situation, but this article isn't about explaining how to find and start a polyamorous relationship as that is complicated and differs in every situation. What I'm trying to help you with is to understand that if you’ve encountered this situation, you don't have to listen to society or what you've been preprogrammed to do.

You Control Yourself

You only have to do what you want to do, because you are what matters. Love is love, is a phrase that is batted around often these days. You see it on t-shirts, in songs and on billboards. That's because it's true. Why does it matter if it's between a man and woman, or man and man, or even man and man and man? If you are capable of loving more than one person, congratulations. You shouldn't feel guilty or be punished. This is the start of something incredible. Sure, you open yourself to the risk of being doubly hurt, but you can also experience more happiness than you will in your entire life.

If you take away one thing from reading today, let it be this: always be true to yourself. Don't reject a part of who you are because a brainwashed society tells you it's wrong. You make yourself happy, and if anyone says otherwise, pity them as they are restricted not by the boundaries of their hearts and minds, but invisible boundaries set by people who died many generations ago.

Do you feel romantic feelings or love towards multiple people?

See results
You're not alone
You're not alone

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)