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Why do some Single Women have Affairs with Married Men

Updated on May 7, 2013
Anamika S profile image

Anamika S. Jain has been a social media consultant for six years. She has written more than 200 articles on relationships and dating.

Why some women are attracted to married men?

There are several Women who fall for married men. Bollywood have several examples of the beautiful actresses like Hema Malini, Jayaprada and Sridevi falling for married men and even getting married to them. What is that prompts women to go behind men like that? Is it the shortage of eligible single men or is there any other reason behind the attraction? Even though such affairs could get a women ‘the other women’ or ‘home breaker’ tag it does not stop from pursuing married men.

Given below are some reasons why a Women may prefer married men for love, marriage or sex.

Reasons why some Women prefer Married Men
Reasons why some Women prefer Married Men

10 reasons why may Women prefer married men

Given are 10 reasons why some Women prefer married men for love, marriage or sex.

1) He is a Challenge: Getting a married man signifies a triumph of one woman over another woman. What makes him the ultimate catch to her could be his experience, confidence and authority. He's a trophy catch. To have him, is about making the impossible. Many women like to grab what belongs to another woman. Jealousy or revenge can be some reasons why women go for already married men.

2) A Married Man has all the answers: Many women feel that a married man compared to a bachelor can meet her emotional or material needs in a better manner and have the answers to all her problems as he is more experienced in handling it.

3) Forbidden Fruit: The society is not very supportive of women who grab another woman’s man. A hooked and booked man is like a forbidden temptation which makes him irresistibly attractive to a woman. For many the food on someone else's plate always looks and tastes better than what they are having. It is the normal human tendency to crave for what you can't have. For some women having a married man at their beck and call increases self esteem.

4) No Strings: A Married Man is an ideal candidate for Women who are Career oriented and do not wish to get married but want sex. When you pick someone clearly unavailable, you never have to struggle with real commitment and its risks and vulnerabilities.

5) Married Men are good at Bed: Many women feel that married men with a lot of sexual experience are a better catch than a bachelor who may be inexperienced. For some a married man is someone with whom they can indulge in their fantasies and who could provide a great time.

6) Wild attraction: Some married men are irresistible and full of charm and love playing games. Many women find it difficult to resist the vibes send by such men.

7) Can’t find Eligible Single Men: Eligible single men are becoming scarce. One may be picking married men in order to beat the competition.

8) It may be Love: Love can happen to anyone. As the popular saying goes ‘love is blind’. And when someone is in love the fact that the object of love is already married is not going to matter much.

9) Mate Copying: Many women tend to believe that if another woman is either after a man or with a man, there must be something he possesses that's worthy of pursuit.

10) Addicted to Sex or Paid for: Some women just want it with whoever is providing it. They don’t care if the man is hooked, booked or unavailable for commitment.

This is a special request hub. I think I have covered almost everything. If I have left anything out feel free to add it through your comments.


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  • Levertis Steele profile image

    Levertis Steele 

    7 years ago from Southern Clime

    "they have 2 kids and he loves them all, but he sees his wife as a friend and mother and yes he admits he loves her for that."

    Poor Louisa, you are fooled! This man is using you and keeping his wife, too. You have fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. If he marries you, which I doubt, would you believe that he'll change his cheating ways? Please do not answer this question because I do not want to feel shame for you.

    Don't you know that these married men secretly call you "whore," and if they become angry at you, they will blast it to your face? He is aware that you would cheat on him because you are already comitting adultry with him, a married man. Living proof, girl! Wake up. He does not trust or love you. He is enjoying a freebie. You are fooled, and you both are cheaters not to be trusted. You are cheating his wife of her time with her husband, and he is enjoying every moment of your ignorance. He is having his cake and eating it, too, and you make it possible. What loyalty!

  • profile image


    8 years ago

    Trust me, break it off now! It will hurt like hell but it can hurt like hell now or it can hurt like hell later, either way it is going to hurt! Might as well break it off now before you waste anymore time on this married man. He may send you flowers, candy, call you baby, tell you he loves you, makes future plans with you, plans trips with you, talks about moving in with you, goes apartment shopping for you, opens a separate bank account, etc. All these things my MM did, by the way. A lot of people will tell you he lied to you, some of them do, but some of them get caught up in the moment, like you do. They aren't just lying to you, they are lying to themselves. They are living the fantasy, as you are, and you are eating it up. But that doesn't make it RIGHT! ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS and until he is already moved out with divorce papers in his hands, don't believe him! Don't waste your time ladies, if he hasn't left her by now, he won't leave her. And if you go tell his wife that he has been messing around, she doesn't always kick him out and that can backfire. I say TELL HER! His wife deserves to know, and then far away. Make smart decisions and be strong will get through it, I promise. It hurts now but you will get over it. Just learn from it and never ever date a married man again...EVER! Only 3% of men end up leaving their wife for the other woman. Trust me if he hasn't done it by now, he ain't doing it. You have a better chance of winning the lottery. Check out a 12 step program for love/romance/relationship addicts. Google it. If you are with a married man, you are most likely an love addict. I know you probably feel like a fool right now but, you have to go through the storm before you see the rainbow and trust me ladies, BE STRONG, LET GO, MOVE ON...there is a rainbow!

  • profile image


    8 years ago

    BECAUSE, Men KEEP pretending they're single!

    They keep giving out their phone numbers that you didn't ask for (or even want), and encourage contact; they pretend they're interested in you (versus looking for cheap sex). Maybe they're to0 cheap to pay a hooker. They should lavish this FOCUS on their wives!

  • profile image

    lerato nko, 

    8 years ago

    One thing that most people don't rrealize is that, these mm they are the ones who makes a lot promises to these single ladies. i have a brother who is married to wonderful womaen, they got three kids, at the same he also has a girlfriend who is ceo in one of big companies. she also has two kids of her own. when this other women try to break up with my brother three yrs ago, my try to kill himself and his three kids. when the pyschologist try ask why he did try to kill himself for another women, he said to them to him she is not another women she is his life. then his wife decided to file a divorce, he was very happy, he even improved his performance even at work. my brother is a director and his wife is matron in one of the private hosptals in the country. so tell me can still say that this women needs my brother support as you can they are all highly educated as you can see. they don't need each other money in fact this other women she is the one who driving most expensive cars, her children are schooling in over offices.

  • profile image

    indian chic 

    8 years ago

    These women have no scruples, morals or values. what challenge is there in taking something that belongs to someone else. Some day when you are in an argument he will let you know how cheap you were when you continued to pursue him. He will never respect you. Your relationship with a married man started on shaky and will end the same. You will always be known as the pathetic homebreaker that you are.

  • profile image

    so very true 

    8 years ago

    it seems a lot of these single women are out to destroy, the men that are married and have families today. why is that? but then again, many men will cheat on their wife anyway.

  • profile image

    larry of davao philippines 

    8 years ago

    Why this things happened?rigth love at the wrong time?maybe because of something you long fo,that you wife cannot give?somehow,it could be...right?because base on my own experienced me and my wife have problem until now still struggling we couldn't find the equation on how to resolve the problem.

  • profile image


    8 years ago

    I am in love with a guy that is married and has two kids...and o we even work together should I still go for him...

  • profile image


    8 years ago

    After a certain age the world seems to consist of : gay men, taken men and I can see why women are attracted to married guys.

    Married men with kids might also be attractive because they've done the "marriage and kids thing" as some of us career oriented/older females don't want that for ourselves, and don't want the pressure/hassle from a guy who does...

    I also think society was not meant to be so strictly long-term-monogomous as we have made it to be, but with more options to choose from (short term monogamy, long term monogamy, bisexuality, one man with several wives, one woman with several men etc. Since when did love and attraction ever play by the rules?

  • profile image

    Trista Tierra 

    8 years ago

    To Chris: You must be so darn proud of yourself. Make sure that you get tested for any diseases before infecting that poor wife and wrecking the lives of her and their kids any further.

  • profile image


    9 years ago

    I cannot find a women like you describe, it seems like one is non existant to me. Writings regarding such theory says men's nature is wanting variety -the sex and there is no "love bond", and that they are not sexualy satisfied with their wife. This is so true. Each women is a different feel. A woman wants the commitment and love connection. A man wants a stable, union, family for purpose and a sound base, but needs the sexually satisfaction. If my wife gave me head, I would be fully satisfied -she thinks its disgusting. I love it. She sure enjoyed me going down on her, but I dont anymore. Oh she gets off, but only her way. The only time she is real horny is when we have been away from one another for a while. I want to enjoy life before Im too old to. Women want us to understand them, their moods, interest, it's a women thing, they are "made that way". But to accept the way men are made....."no way" hes a cheater !

  • profile image


    9 years ago

    I guess we have lots more stuff to worry on this earth rather than rack our brains .

    All we women should put on some shoes to get to think real worries of this world and see how we can collaborate to help the needy and downtrodden..

  • profile image

    9 years ago

    If you have kids, don't cheat. It makes them angry/sad/confused. It made me develop a deep, dark hatred for women. It's been hard to trust anyone, especially females. Homewreckers, hell has a special place saved for you.

  • profile image

    james ngui 

    9 years ago

    Boredom is the curse of most human relationships. The sheer propensity for infidelity, spurred on by the heart-throbbing thrill and sweet danger of tasting the forbidden fruit, eventually prevails over matrimonial loyalty and the solemn vow to love and cherish each other until death do us apart. So tragic; like the saying goes, "marry in haste, repent at leisure". Some have steak at home and yet still want to sneak out to look for burger...until the novelty wears off.

  • profile image


    9 years ago

    Hi Anamika,

    Well I love a man, who is married and has children. When I fell in love with him I did not know that he was married and when I discovered I tried to move away from him, but I guess I did not try hard enough. I happened to meet him when he was in a very vulnerable stage of his life, we still meet and talk to catch up on our lives. I would like to say that romantic relationships need not mean ONLY sex, yes it a vital part of it but to base the entire relationship on sex would be doing injustice to the whole concept of falling in love. For loving someone is to care, trust, confide, support and respect and both of us do that with each other.

  • profile image


    9 years ago

    Ladies there are lot's of good single men out there, just think about this....your going out with a married man that means he's a CHEATER and I bet that's not one of the qualities you are looking for in a man haha! What happens when he's all done with you? If your going to date someone who is married just make sure that their better half is already their EX huh!

  • profile image

    just me 

    9 years ago

    bad bad apple's...women that having sex with married man are sick in the head and have very low selfesteem!!!

  • ravenlt04 profile image


    9 years ago from Atlanta, GA


  • profile image

    Linton Gonzaga 

    9 years ago

    So, who losses in the end?

  • profile image


    9 years ago

    Can I also add that women simply fall in love with the married man in just the same way that they would if the man was single. I often see comments around the web that the Other Woman is loose etc, but from my own experience of seeing a MM and it's very much an emotional relationship, not a sexual secretive thrill - that's the bit we don't like being accused of having. And yes, his wife found out - and what bugs her the most is that is emotional relationship we have - something he never experienced with her on the same level when they married at the early age of 25. I never chased him, I warned him off a few times, but our interests and chats became so close we just simply fell in love with each other's personalities. I don't know what the future holds for us, they have 2 kids and he loves them all, but he sees his wife as a friend and mother and yes he admits he loves her for that. I haven't given him an ultimatum - what's the point, it's his life. His wife still looks for clues and obviously doesn't trust him, and he suffers with guilt that he can't devote more time to me. I've also been in a past relationship and been the victim, so I know how she feels sadly - it might eat her up like it did with me - he broke his vows and I can tell she'll never trust him. I can only get on with my life and treasure my time with him - I'm not a baby-maker or dream about white fluffy weddings, I enjoy working and friends, so it suits me. Great hub!

  • profile image


    9 years ago

    Sad but true this does happen in our life!

  • MercuryNewsOnline profile image


    9 years ago from Toronto, Canada

    Well, what can I say? This is an interesting piece of writing. You practically covered the bright and shadowy part of this topic. Great hub Anamika!

  • stacies29 profile image


    10 years ago from Washington DC

    So true, thanx. I have had my fiance's baby mother treat me awful because she is not in her own relationship and they did not work out. I Always wanted to know what this was all about in her head. Helped greatly!!

  • profile image


    10 years ago

    Women dont sleep with married men, married men sleep with other women!

  • dashingscorpio profile image


    10 years ago from Chicago

    Great Hub! You covered it all!

  • profile image


    10 years ago

    Mind Blowing. Excellent Points. I just started and finished in one go. Very Very tempting hub.

  • privateye2500 profile image


    11 years ago from Canada, USA, London

    ...where is Bollywood and how do I get there? :}


  • ripplemaker profile image

    Michelle Simtoco 

    11 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

    Some of my women friends claimed that married men are sweeter. It's really a complicated thing to be attracted to a married man. :)

  • profile image

    Babaji M P 

    11 years ago

    Excellent hub. I have been your reader for a long time but was not able to comment as i was not a member. Your articles are really very good. Do write another article why women are not attracted towards me. Am i not attractive? Ha.. just a joke.

    Keep writing. I have joined your fan club :)

  • My Facebook profile image

    My Facebook 

    11 years ago from London, United Kingdom

    Like they say, best things are taken, I think the women that go for married or men already committed is because they feel that is the man that will keep them happy.

    Secondly sometimes women go for the men that have a lot money, at which point it doesn't matter if he is taken or single.

    Lastly and most importantly, I think a lot of women fall for a man or get into a relationship without realising that he is taken. Sometimes obviously because the man has decided to play the game and lie, which results in the woman falling in love with man. By the time she finds out, it is too late.

  • Lgali profile image


    11 years ago

    another excellent hub. I think it is lust not love

  • Anamika S profile imageAUTHOR

    Anamika S Jain 

    11 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

    1beutifulmind : You have got a point there.

    pjdscott : Yes, I have seen several such case too

    Thanks hp, Taram, pjdscott, 1beutifulmind for the visit.

  • pjdscott profile image


    11 years ago from Durham, UK

    An engaging (no pun intended!) article - I have never thought of it from the lady's point of view. As you say, and I totally agree, I think the challenge is an important motivation for some women.

  • profile image


    11 years ago

    I agree with 1beautifulmind.

  • 1beutifulmind profile image


    11 years ago

    I believe that until we as women and men began to communicate effectively without judging in our marriages and relationships we will always be at risk for infedelity. Our spouses should be our best friends there should not be a limit as to what we can share or experience with one another.Until this happens we will always have "outsiders" available to be that "ear" risking our marriages placing us in a vunerable position.

  • profile image


    11 years ago

    well its more a lust rather than love!!!!

  • Anamika S profile imageAUTHOR

    Anamika S Jain 

    11 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

    You may be right. Thanks for the visit quicksand.

  • quicksand profile image


    11 years ago

    The homebreaker is reckless. Raising social status and economic position is usually the target. Ideally every woman needs three men in her life - simultaneously!!!

    The first is a carpet - social status

    Number two - bulging pockets

    The third - An excellent plumber!!! :)

  • Anamika S profile imageAUTHOR

    Anamika S Jain 

    11 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

    Yes, the forbidden fruit is an attraction factor. Thanks for the comment.

  • bingskee profile image


    11 years ago from Quezon City, Philippines

    the fact that it is forbidden gets these women interested.

  • Anamika S profile imageAUTHOR

    Anamika S Jain 

    11 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

    Philipo : Sin or whatever I do not in anyway support 'the other women' or the home breaker women.

    John Chancellor: You have got a point there. Thanks for the visit.

    dohn121 : Thanks for the appreciation.

    emohealer : Who am i to judge anyone? This is just a special request hub.

    Once again, Thanks for the Comments.

  • emohealer profile image

    Sioux Ramos 

    11 years ago from South Carolina

    Very good job of answering the question. Without the emotion or judgement, just the reasons. Excellent hub, Thanks!

  • dohn121 profile image


    11 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

    Another stand up job, Anamika. You definitely did a wonderful and poignant job of breaking down the psychosis of women who are attracted to men which makes me curious;)

    Many women that I have an attraction are married and it absolutely is frustrating to me. I won't see their wedding rings until 20 minutes into the conversation in some cases!

    Thanks again.

  • John Chancellor profile image

    John Chancellor 

    11 years ago from Tennessee

    I think you did a very good job of covering the points. I would disagree a bit with point #7 - can't find eligible single men. I would expand the point by saying they are not willing to work at finding eligible single men.

    Finding a suitable relationship partner is hard work. And a lot of men and women are simply not willing to do the work necessary to find a suitable partner. So they rationalize the situation and then allow themselves to expand the field of potential partners to married.

    The other reason that was not directly covered is the inability to see the reality of dating a married person. A woman (or a man) can easily fool themselves into attributing stellar qualities to the married partner.

    Often women will be attracted to a married man of a higher social economic status. The woman believes this is the ticket to raise her economic position - that he will eventually leave his wife and marry her. That she will gain economically. Happens sometimes but there are many, many more horror stories where the woman is left heartbroken.

  • Philipo profile image


    11 years ago from Nigeria

    Anamika - I actually wanted to add something but I discovered that this hub is very comprehensive. You have said it all. But there is really no acceptable reason why a woman would go for another woman's husband. It is a sin. Point blank.

  • Anamika S profile imageAUTHOR

    Anamika S Jain 

    11 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

    Thanks for your visit and valuable inputs.

  • profile image


    11 years ago

    Yet another excellent blog.

    Lest your overseas readers have a notion because of reference to celebrity marriages, that bigamy/polygamy is practiced in India, please allow me to clarify.

    Personal laws of different religious communities have not been interfered with by the government. Muslims follow their personal law and can have up to four wives. Christians follow their own law and practice monogamy. Hindu Code Bill was passed in 1950 making bigamy among Hindus illegal.

    A big lacuna in the Act has not been plugged yet. Suo-moto action cannot be initiated for bigamy. The first wife has to file a written complaint against the husband. In the instances mentioned here, the first wives have chosen not to complain against their law-breaking husbands for whatever reasons. A funny situation developed when Dharmendar while filing his nomination papers for election to the Parliament mentioned only his first wife's name.

    There have been instances when people have converted to Islam for the second marriage. Recently Supreme Court has ruled that such conversions are illegal. Detailed guidelines for implementation of this ruling have not been spelled out.


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