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Why the Unhappy Marriages?

Updated on September 29, 2017
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

Escape an unhappy Marriage

Marriages don't always workout as expected

A happily married couple.
A happily married couple. | Source
A married couple with many issues.
A married couple with many issues. | Source
Back faced to him show a problematic marriage.
Back faced to him show a problematic marriage. | Source
A happy marriage in the beginning.
A happy marriage in the beginning. | Source
Problems start and all fades.
Problems start and all fades. | Source

What if you are unhappy in your marriage?

Unhappy Marriages are more that Frustrating.

He started everything in her life and stopped everything in her life.

His first touch, first kiss, and those first moments made her feel what she had never felt before, or had experienced from any other.

He swept her off her feet and taught her the meaning of true love.

Years have gone by and they still love each other. He no longer shows interest in her like he did in the past.

She learned from him and he showed her everything for the first time. The person she once known to her is no longer the same toward her.

He has past the phase that she longs for from him.

  • Most men don't like to be asked such questions:

  • ''Why have we stopped being intimate?''

  • ''Why do we spend less time together?''

Questions that are often ignored, and the woman involved with that man sees everything in her marriage and does not speak about it.

She knows her man will not like the idea of such conversations.

Communication in this marriage is not good enough and that can destroy a good kind of love.

He is not into her needs. A selfish individual to think of life from only his side.

This man gave her a good life also took that good life from her. The only man she had ever loved and still loves. He has become motionless and has a different agenda.

Their lives are different but still in love.

It is all about the want and wants but no giving.

  • Will the couple open up to each other?

I doubt that would happen he is a traditional man and she has to live with him loving him passionately allows her to be this way.

She does not know any other love.

He sees it all only from his side.

  • What is a Marriage?

  • When two people say, ''I do, and till death do us part, what do you expect?''

You would expect the married couple to stay in the marriage and work through their worst moments together.

A marriage is for better and worse and is a commitment to both partners.

They love each and would expect team work.

Sometimes the little aspects of a marriage fade away and no one notices their breakthroughs.

When he turns head away from her to gaze at the television he does not see his acts like she would see it.

To the woman he is ignoring her and to the man he wants to watch television.

He needs to give her the attention and to hold her hands and tell her that he loves her.

She needs his attention and when you fail to pay attention she can become needy.

It allows her to search elsewhere for a friend who will give her that attention. Usually, it is another male friend to fill the gap.

You choose your partner for different reasons but don't act on what you know will keep you together.

Just a lack of interest shows you have taken your love for granted.

Different needs and different thoughts can lead to other paths ahead.

  • What makes you unhappy in a marriage?

The lack of proper communication can destroy a good marriage.

The lack of respect and understanding can open your eyes to a poor relationship in a marriage.

When couples spend less time together they tend to go their own ways.

The often yelling at each other can make a marriage most unhappy.

Financial situations grow and get out of control.

Stressful moments make couples feel pressured into their marriages.

Disagreements can cause many arguments.

The annoying bad habits like smoking, or the excessive drinking, or constant spitting on the ground.

Bad eating habits such as no table manners can make one feel frustrated.

The constant nagging and threats, for example, ’’if you don't do that, I will do something else you don't approve of.''

Nagging is when you won't stop at it. You keep on going at one problem and that can really get to a man’s head.

What she wants he can’t give to her anymore.

You feel rejected and like you have accepted him/her for the wrong reasons.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but yet you still go ahead and try to get back at each other in some way.

You want to get back at him or her for what they have allowed to come between you and him.

Decide what you think is right for you not of what you are going to use to get back at each other.

Your marriage becomes unhappy when you don't meet the needs of a partner.

Trust lost makes you see how unhappy the marriage has become over time.

You feel torn apart in a marriage.

Blaming each other is totally unnecessary.

You treat your partner like dirt and criticize them making the individual feel down about themselves.

Most couples feel broken up and like they don't know their partners anymore.

An unhappy marriage is when couples have to stay together for the kids sake or for other people's sake.

  • If they left each other what would others say about them?

These thoughts force them to stay in loveless marriages.

If you stop talking and find that communication is long gone your marriage is going downhill.

The joy of both people has disappeared making the marriage lifeless.

Being ashamed of your partner can cause an unhappy marriage.

Vulnerability in marriage can show unhappiness in a marriage you won't even see it right away.

Avoiding the problem makes marriages unhappy and effortless.

Sometimes couples don't look at intimacy to solve their problems.

You should not see that way, but if that is the problem then you should really talk about it.

Marriage is about many aspects of life and not only about sex.

Every part of your marriage should be fulfilled if you can meet up with the standards of your partner then go ahead and make each other happy.

If you are not able to meet the standards of your partner make amends and compromise.

  • What should you do if you are in an unhappy marriage?

Leave if you feel unhappy and can't solve the issue.

Avoid regrets and move on.

Don't fear your next move.

Be positive about your plans.

You can love again and never doubt love.

Make you the priority.

Giving it all up can be the hardest for you but remember if you are not happy in the marriage it is not worth your stay.

Avoid feeling guilty.

Don't think of loneliness or that alone feeling instead think about how unhappy you are and that you got to get out of that rut.

  • What makes you think you are unhappily married?

When he tells you the grocery cupboard is empty and in some cases that can make you feel like the maid.

The glass is not clean and he looks at you like, ''why did you not clean it properly.''

The lack of loving makes you feel as an outsider in the marriage.

He wants you to be there and does not know what is missing in your life.

Letting you go will be a mistake, no one to pick up after him and to clean after him.

  • If he mentions,'' it is time you got a job.''

He can't afford you anymore. No time for you and no money to spend on you on any special occasion.

He looks at you as old and changed.

You hate each other’s parents that ought to tell you something about your marriage.

Couples who believe in this line ''With all that you have been through we can go much further,'' are fooling themselves. They find it a way to keep going to avoid fixing their real issues.

Unhappy Marriages

Are you in an Unhappy Marriage?

See results

Marriages and divorces

Writing has allowed me to share my thoughts openly. Thank you for reading my hubs.
Writing has allowed me to share my thoughts openly. Thank you for reading my hubs. | Source

© 2014 Devika Primić

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    • DDE profile image
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      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello Sherry Hewins thank you

    • Sherry Hewins profile image

      Sherry Hewins 3 years ago from Sierra Foothills, CA

      You have given me a lot to think about.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello cecileportilla nice to hear from you thank you for sharing your mind here

    • cecileportilla profile image

      Cecile Portilla 3 years ago from West Orange, New Jersey

      Great Hub DDE. Marriage is a lot of work. There are ways to deal with the bumps in the road, but you are so correct it stating that people who are unhappy should make themselves the priority, avoid regrets and move on.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      vespawoolf thank you for sharing such valuable points.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi epbooks thank you for stopping by take care.

    • epbooks profile image

      Elizabeth Parker 3 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      I think that any relationship- whether spouse or friend- can be difficult, but communication is definitely key and so is not taking each other for granted.

    • vespawoolf profile image

      vespawoolf 3 years ago from Peru, South America

      I have seen many broken marriages in my day. We have a very happy marriage, but that's because we try never to neglect one another for any friend, male or female, and we resolve issues as promptly as we can. This is a good reminder for both happily and unhappily married couples.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi D.A.L. You have shown constant support in my work thank greatly for all votes up.

    • DDE profile image
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      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi MsDora thank you for another interesting and thoughtful comment

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Lady Guinevere thank you, ''For a marriage to work both parties have to be in agreement on one thing and that is what do they want in the marriage and what started the process in the first place.'' A well-pointed out aspect in a marriage.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi ChitrangadaSharan, Very kind of you to come by with such a thoughtful comment. ''It is important to support each other in times of crisis, which makes a strong bond.'' So greatly mentioned. Thank you.

    • D.A.L. profile image

      Dave 3 years ago from Lancashire north west England

      Once again you have dealt with a human emotional issue in your usual no-nonsense way. These complex issues have been dealt with and anyone having such problems would be right to read and take in the advise. Voted up interesting and useful

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Anything at all can cause unhappiness in marriage if there is not a foundation of love and commitment. I lie your question: "What makes you think you are unhappily married?' It suggests that you my not really be.

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 3 years ago from West By God

      Thank you for writing this. I would not have known about myself and my own boundaries had I not gone through a program for Intimacy Anorexia that my husband has. I like to share my growth and findings with others. It does not always work for everyone. For a marriage to work both parties have to be in agreement on one thing and that is what do they want in the marriage and what started the process in the first place.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

      By God's grace, mine is a happy marriage. But a marriage to work, many factors are important, such as communication, patience, mutual respect and understanding.

      I think always demanding and having lots of expectations from each other can ruin a marriage.

      It is important to support each other in times of crisis, which makes a strong bond. Perhaps that sense of obligation, that he/ she stood for me when there was none makes it a life long companionship.

      Thanks for sharing this thought provoking hub!

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello jtrader time and patience works well if one wants to stay.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi FlourishAnway Thank you. It takes two tango.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi MG Singh as you have stated of the countries and of religion so true. In some societies couples are unhappy and stay in a marriage for the wrong reasons. Thank you.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      dailytop10 thank you for stopping by I appreciate your time and efforts. Sometimes by just listening to each others conversations and understanding their needs can make a change in many marriages and in a good way. Being on the same page is another way of solving issues.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Lady Guinevere you are so right! '' We train the people how we want to be treated.'' ''Change the approach an you change the dynamics of yourself and the marriage and ultimately the other.'' So meaningful and worth thinking about for anyone in such situations thank you for the vote up and for sharing such a thoughtful comment.

    • DDE profile image
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      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Ericdierker, some times it is good to listen to each other thank you for commenting.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      hi billybuc thank you always.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Harishprasad thank you for sharing your great mind here and for the votes up and shared your presence at my hubs is always appreciated.

    • jtrader profile image

      jtrader 3 years ago

      As Lady Guinevere pointed out, we train people how we want to be treated. Sometimes that takes many years.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Both partners need to decide if the marriage is really where they want to be.

    • MG Singh profile image

      MG Singh 3 years ago from Singapore

      Nice hub DDE, but its such a complex subject and what most write is applicable to the Christian faith. I wonder how much it is applicable to Muslim world where polygamy is part of religion. Even in rural societies in Africa Asia the concept of mutual respect is just not there. What a wonderful topic. Can anything be universal? Good article though

    • dailytop10 profile image

      dailytop10 3 years ago from Davao City

      Great hub! I'm glad my wife and I are going smoothly. There were a few bumps here and there but we managed to jump on top of them. Wish you all the best and thanks for sharing!

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 3 years ago from West By God

      The key to our marriage was getting him to see and feel the abuse and neglect that he was giving to me. That entailed a lot of self refelection because it is not only one person's problem or fault in a marriage. Both are to blame and the one who is unhappy needs to find ways to cope, which are difficult but must be kept. We train the people how we want to be treated. Yes that sounds like a cliche, but it is very true. To get another to communicate is our responsibility not the other's responsibility, but it takes two to be in a marriage. Some will not communicate anymore and that is a big problem. Change the approach an you change the dynamics of yourself and the marriage and ultimately the other.

      Voted up!

    • Nadine May profile image

      Nadine May 3 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

      Great Hub DDE. Yes communication and respect for each others needs is very important. If one of the partners, or both are codependent, then that will be a problem in the long run. We are in relationships to learn about ourselves. The more hardship in a relationship the more we learn what does not work for us and what does. Voted up.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Communication is key. And independence is also key. The woman in this sounds very codependent and regardless, that is a bad deal. There are times and places for intimate conversation -- In our relationship, I make that time, and that works. Sometimes I wish my wife would set aside time to listen to me, but she does not. So it seems that some people need to be listened to and others not so much.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      For us, communication has been key. When we are open and honest with our feelings, our problems are few. We had to learn this over time, and it involves trusting one another.

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 3 years ago from India

      This is such a complex issue that there is no foolproof way to resolve it. You have analyzed it so clearly and explained everything in a logical way. I find it very interesting, informative and educative and wish couples entangled in marital discord took the required steps, as suggested by you. Devika, you have penetrated deep into the crust of this very complicated issue. Voted up and shared.