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How to apologize to your spouse?

Updated on February 22, 2014

‘The things two people do to each other they remember. If they stay together, it's not because they forget; it's because they forgive.’ - Demi Moore

Do you fight with your spouse? It would be a lie if you say that you do not have any arguments in your married life. Having arguments and fights are part and parcel of most marriages. There are occasions when you or your spouse get heated up and utter words with the intention of venting your anger and frustration.But when you cool down you feel remorseful for having said such hurting words to your spouse.

What do you do after your anger has disappeared?

You should apologize to your spouse to make him\her feel that your anger was unintentional and momentary. The way you apologize should make your spouse understand how sorry you are for what you had said.

What is the best way to apologize?

A perfect apology!

Do you explain the reason for your anger and ask forgiveness? If you do so, you are near about perfect in making your spouse understand and feel that you are really sorry for the insensitive words you have uttered. Your apology is very convincing and very truthful!

Superficial apology!

Or, do you just say ‘I am sorry’ without explaining why you fought with your spouse? Your spouse is not at all convinced when there is no explanation from you for your outburst. He\she feels that your regret is superficial and that you are not truly apologetic. His\her anger does not completely go away by your shallow apology as it is not credible and realistic!

Callous behavior

But do you make the mistake of thinking that you do not have to apologize and go about your work without saying a word of explanation? Do you think you can interact with your spouse without any words of regret? Your spouse never forgets the bitter words you uttered and harbors resentment against you if you do so. A bad way to end your argument!

Your relationship with your spouse can flourish only when his\her emotions are well cared for. It is indeed sad when you pay attention to the materialistic needs of your family without concentrating on the emotional aspect of it. Uncared and battered feelings can shrivel your marriage to nothingness.

What do you do when you have misunderstanding with your colleagues? You immediately apologize as you do not want any added tension at your work place. You are very calculative and adjusting to your colleagues even if you do not like them. You know that if you do not adjust with them, the atmosphere at your work place would be scalding and hostile.

But why are you so callous with your spouse? What makes you think that you can say whatever you like and feel that you do not owe an apology to him\her? Why are you are you more than ready to vent your pent up frustration on your spouse without thinking of the hurt you inflict?

Do know why do you do that? You take your spouse for granted! Do not ever make that mistake! Your married life is happy only when you have good relationship with your spouse.

How can your marriage be happy when you do not make your spouse feel your love by being sorry for what you have done?

Are you wondering how to make your spouse understand that you are truly sorry?

He\she can feel it only when you accept your faults and emphatically convince him\her that you would not repeat the mistakes and promise not utter such hurtful words any time in the future.

Do you know that one of the effective trick to a happy marriage is to apologize for the wrong done? When you feel contrite and openly accept that you were in the wrong, your spouse finds it easy to forget the bitterness he\she felt. It is not beneath your prestige to apologize to your spouse and say that you would never repeat the mistake again.

Superficial apology instills anger in your spouse instead of making him\her feel convinced that you really mean it. You are not apologizing to any third party are you? You are saying sorry to the person you love and so do not hold back words and be apologetic in the real sense of the word.

Marriage relationship needs emotional convincing to make you to feel close to one another. If you overlook such minor facts as not important it assumes a dangerous proportion to rock the foundation of your marriage.

© 2014 mathira


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    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Another great hub by you mathira.

      Voted up for sure.


    • mathira profile image

      mathira 4 years ago from chennai

      Thank you billy. You seem to have the knack of making your relationship work.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I have become good at apologizing through constant practice. LOL

      Good information as always my friend.