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Women: Feminist VS Traditional Lifestyle Choices

Updated on July 26, 2013

Gender traitor!

Not long ago a female writer posted discussion topic in an online forum on what she termed “gender traitors”. Essentially her position is there are (women) who do not believe that women should have equal rights to men. These women are strong proponents that the main roles and goals of women are to be housewives and mothers. They further believe women should be subordinate to men and clearly do not believe in a woman’s reproductive freedom with regard to contraceptive and choice.

She went onto say, “Such women want to turn back the clock so to speak. Well, most thinking women view such women as gender traitors. Why would any woman in her right thinking mind be against overall equality for women, especially in terms of reproductive rights?”

Below are four reasons why these women feel this way.

Religious beliefs

Religions (most of them) treat women as secondary compared to men. One biblical example is Ephesians 5:23. "For the husband is the (head) of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church....." Religion is very "gender role" specific. These women do not think of themselves as being "traitors" but rather as following the dictates of God and (embracing) their role of "helpmate". Naturally no devout Christian sees abortion as a choice and they are against premarital sex.

Unfair competition

Many of these women believe "progressive women" are to blame for why it's so difficult for them to either (get a man or hold onto one). It's a real challenge for them to keep a man interested in them while abstaining from sex when there are so many "other women" willing to jump into bed with men in a heartbeat. These women believe if more women held out sexually in a traditional sense there would be more marriage proposals and less infidelity. They see women who want to be "sexually equal" to men as being the destroyer of romantic traditions and courtship.

Lack of respect

Progressive women make stay at home moms feel (insecure) about their own choices. The more business savvy successful women there are the more unfulfilled a housewife or stay at home mom feels as society downplays her role. Sometimes you see articles written that state how much a "stay at home mom's salary (would) or should be" compared to what other women do on their jobs. Quite a few of these women will try and use "reverse guilt" on progressive women. "I chose to stay home with my children because it was more important for me to be there (for them) than pursue a career." "There is nothing more rewarding than (being there) for your kids including money." "I could never leave my children in daycare or with some stranger!" or "Motherhood is a (full-time) job." In other words the women that try to "have it all" are seen to be selfish. When they come home they're too tired to cook for and "please" their man. In their eyes this is one of the reasons why there has been an increase in divorces.

Lastly some of these women always (wanted to be taken care of). Historically college was a place women went to in order to meet men from well to do families or men that were likely to become successful in hopes of marrying them. Women who had to (work for themselves and pay bills) were "pitied" because they were thought to have lacked beauty or social connections to attract a "well to do" man! In other words they (had) to work because they could not find a man to take care of them!
Some of these "traditional" women resent "progressive" women because now (men expect them) to work in addition to doing their "wifely" duties! They now feel "pressured" to work outside of the home and afterwards come home to cook, clean up, do laundry, and take care of the kids.

Equality is impossible without individual freedom

Ultimately there is no such thing as "gender traitors". Life is a personal journey. Women will never have true equality until both groups of women respect and accept the choices of one another. Today members of both groups still to choose to blame each other for holding them back from doing what (they) want instead of looking in the mirror and taking responsibility for their own happiness! One woman's life choices should not affect another woman's life choices.

One man's opinion!

Are women who want "traditional" relationships and marriages traitors?

See results


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    • dashingscorpio profile imageAUTHOR


      3 years ago

      Farawaytree, Thanks for stopping by to read my hub and leave a comment. Respecting and accepting the individual's rights to live their life how they see fit is probably a better path to equality.

      Life is a (personal) journey!:)

    • Farawaytree profile image

      Michelle Zunter 

      3 years ago from California

      Great hub! Women sabotaging other women is really counterproductive.

    • dashingscorpio profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago

      Fiona Jean Mckay , Thanks for your comment.

      I believe life is a (personal) journey. Everyone has the right to live life on their own terms. Individuality should be celebrated and not beaten down into conformity simply to further a (segment) of that group's causes.

    • Fiona Jean Mckay profile image


      4 years ago from South Africa

      I think that those women can do whatever they want - and leave me to be allowed to choose my own way of life. For goodness sake, when I started working, I didn't earn as much as my make counterparts for doing the SAME job! (This was 20 years ago.)

      Even as little as a decade ago, I was not allowed to join the internal audit team - why? Because I was married and would probably want to have kids!

      To those women mentioned above, Do whatever you want but don't try to speak for me as well.

    • dashingscorpio profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      savvydating, Your comment makes a whole lot of sense to me! It's sad to see the divisiveness that sometimes rears it's ugly head when not all women or men for that matter want/believe in living a specific way. A "stay at home dad" is just as likely to be looked down upon by members of (his) gender.

    • savvydating profile image


      5 years ago

      For me, it is useful to accept that we are all complicated, and that women are made up of many faces and a variety of values. For example, I might be pegged as a traditionalist by some, but in fact, I have worked all of my adult life (and even before), yet have still managed to raise a happy and very balanced son. Thus, most men describe me as being very independent. On the other hand, I love it when a man pulls out my chair or opens the door for me, but I'm equally comfortable in having him whip up dinner, while I throw the trash. In other words, male and female roles are intertwined, at times.

      What I'm saying is that a woman can be a feminist who also has some traditional values, and still be at peace with not fitting into a "type." At least, that's what I do, and it works for me.

      Interesting hub!

    • dashingscorpio profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      Peeples, Thanks for stopping by and posting your comment. It's important for people to remember "Life is a personal journey". None of are under any obligation to be "loyal" to our gender!

      In a "free society" having options and individuality should be celebrated and not ridiculed by those that (choose) to live their lives differently from what we may have chosen for ourselves. To each his or her own! :-)

    • peeples profile image


      5 years ago from South Carolina

      I think there are gender traits, and that's okay. There are things a man is better at than most women and things more women are better at than men. Why we insisted on being in a world where we pretend those barriers don't exist is beyond me. However that doesn't mean if someone goes against the majority that makes them a gender traitor, it just makes them, well, them.

      With that said, I am the mom who will openly tell anyone that I work from home for one reason only. It is wrong to volunteer your children off to strangers to raise if you have an option not to. As a mother I am not quite sure how it isn't selfish if I just said "you know what, even though I am capable of choosing the option of working from home and taking care of my family I am not going to and someone else can raise that kid I gave birth to and take care of that man I married".

      In life sometimes there are not options, however if given the option we should take care of what we made, our children. Just this work at home mama's old fashion opinion!

    • dashingscorpio profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      FreeSpiritDiva, Thanks so much for taking the time to read my hub and post your comment. Everyone should be allowed to follow their own heart's desire. Life after all is a personal journey. :-)

    • FreeSpiritDiva profile image


      5 years ago from Colorado Springs

      Very well written Hub and I whole heartedly agree with your essay, and your comments, above. I believe that there is room in this world for "traditional" and "non-traditional" gender roles and there are people out there who are seeking either/or, so finding your own way (traditional or non-traditionally) is important (do it for you, not the person you project you may meet).

    • dashingscorpio profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      DDE , I agree both groups of women are too concerned about men's reactions and what they think of them. They feel each group's behavior with men is hurting all women. This leaves no room for just being an individual.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Sometimes the focus is on men and on their reactions and the focus on women is hardly you have created an interesting outlook on Women: Feminist VS Traditional Lifestyle Choices

    • dashingscorpio profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      Melvyne Mongati , Thanks for taking the time to read my hub and post a comment. Hopefully this "internal" battle among women will come to an end one day.

    • Melvyne Mongati profile image


      5 years ago from Madang

      I agree. There should be gender based equality because women are capaple of doing anything just as the men


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