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Forgiveness in Relationships
The Root of the Problem
In our lives we are faced with many challenges and in my mind one of the biggest is successful romantic relationships. In this day and age we seemed to be getting pushed more and more to believe that the only way to make a relationship work is sex or the physical aspect of a relationship. I believe the real key to relationships is forgiveness. We all make mistake, some make bigger mistakes such as being unfaithful or deceitful but regardless of the size of the mistake we need to know when and how to forgive as well as when to walk away.
The First Steps in Recovering from Disappointment and Building Trust Again
In our lives we experience a lot of disappointments from romantic partners whether this be cheating or simply just the realization that the other person cannot be who you need them to be. These things can be challenging to deal with and also continue to have a positive attitude towards dating or even close friendships in some cases.
In the case of the simple realization that your partner is not the "one" for you we need to make sure that both parties realize what the problem was. We cannot go on without resolution and closure in our lives. Explaining the reasons why can be hard to do and even more difficult to receive from somebody else. The key is to explain things fully, sit down and talk about it no matter how hard it is. We have to make sure neither party holds a grudge or resentment towards the other.
The more difficult topic is a case of unfaithfulness or deceit. When things like this arise we need to keep a heart of compassion. I know, this is a lot easier said than done but regardless of the difficulty it is imperative that we don't make things worse than they already are.
First of all we need to determine if this fault, this mistake, is something we can forgive. If you feel as though your love is strong enough and that your partner can truly change and is willing to work to build back the trust you once had then stay, work through it, and let it go. Don't continually bring it up or hold it over his or her head. Move on and start a new chapter in your lives together.
Rules are imperative in this process; Sit down and discuss a list of guidelines and rules that need to be followed in order to bring trust back into the relationship. Rules like no text messaging people of the opposite gender (obviously there will be some exceptions), full disclosure of everything; when I say this I mean if you want to look at his or her Facebook page then it shouldn't be a problem.
After a period of time, to be determined by you, these rules can become more lax and then the trust can begin to return as he or she proves what they are truly willing to do to be with you.
Forgiveness isn't an easy process and it takes months and even years to get back what you once had but if you can work through it I truly believe that what you will have is greater than anything you've had before.
Sometimes all people need is a second chance, another shot to make things right in the relationship and learn from their mistakes. A chance that they may have never been given before,a chance to be better.