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Women’s Secrets

Updated on September 18, 2012

Sitting in front of my computer after surfing HubPages on the Internet, having drank whiskey from a large bottle and wisdom from various small female experts at the same time and in equal measurement, and having reduced the bottle of whiskey to a mere wreck of its former self, I am now full of good resolutions and brave enough to impart wisdom from the point of view of the male.

The impulse of the female of the species to torture the man she loves is well known, but now hold on to something solid boys, because I am about to shock you with the antidote: It is a secret, world-wide female tradition since time immemorial that, as soon as girls are born, their mothers drop their female offspring onto a hard surface head first, in order to ensure uniformity in female behavior. It is a little known fact, but true. And we men should be thankful for that, because otherwise we would be dust beneath their five inch steel stiletto heels.

Women are SPIRITUAL and they FEEEEEEL! They say that they “have to love the spirituality of a man before they can fall in love”. However, when women speak of falling in love with the “spirituality” of a man, you can rest assured that in their case the word “spirituality” is a euphemism in the female mind. Take it from one who knows that the “spirituality” of the male, as assessed by the female of the species, is directly related to the number of multiple orgasms the male is able to provide the female over the long term and the consistency is a crucial factor in the equation. Once you achieve this level of “spirituality” the poor chumps are yours for ever and you shall have to change states every time you want to get rid of one. And even then it will be difficult to get away from them, because they will go on to write on HubPages how you’ve ruined their lives, how cruel you were, though they - the perfect ones - still love you and always ready to forgive you because they are so much more SPIRITUAL and so much more FEEEEEELING than you – the animal - could ever be.

Woman’s intuition is a wonderful thing, but regrettably sometimes they are plain asking for it. There is a poor female chump here on HubPages who feels qualified to give advice and who thinks that an effeminate sounding male who apparently spends more time on his hair than she does and who goes to a black tie event in jeans in order to stand out, is “cool” because he has found an imbecile way to get himself noticed in a crowd of well dressed people and, according to this poor fish, her heart goes all aflutter. Doesn’t this throw a blinding spot light on the fickleness of woman? She may be right of course, as women always are, but doesn’t she realize that her stud has a tiny Willie and is trying to make up for it with hair gel? Does she not realize that she is doomed from the beginning to wonder a short while later how she could have wasted her time with this moron? No, obviously she does not and to say that I laughed when I read her thoughts on this point would be to express the matter ineffectually.

My higher self urges me to discontinue this discourse and talk about the weather, but my lower self insists on harping on it a little longer and, being out of reach of retaliation, I shall try to make a helpful suggestion which she may or may not find useful. I should be failing in my duty were I not to suggest to her that her time might be better occupied were she to hire a sturdy Mexican by the hour to kick her till she felt better.

It is true that all women hate to see a chance to prod the loved one and watch him squirm go to waste, but there are some who feel that though sufficient agony is good for a man - stimulating his mind and keeping him on his toes and his nose shiny and pink - too much is just too much. And believe it or not there are some women who can - and do - understand that conjugal happiness cannot be build on hair gel and that it depends on a number of factors which will lead to a combination of Happiness and Contentment.

And if you want to know the difference between Happiness and Contentment, you have come to the right man: When there is a state of mind by which the mind and body are in accord, without friction, that is Contentment. Happiness is when the woman you love kisses you while you sleep, thinking that you cannot feel it and when she seeks you out in her own sleep, her arms and legs, her whole self, wrapping around you as if she wants to make you a part of herself.

Here endeth the sermon for the day and remember brothers: "For in due season ye shall reap, if ye faint not."

Dimitris Mita

De Greek

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    • nicnac profile image

      nicnac 6 years ago from Ireland

      How to unlock revolutionary writing... get to the bottom of a bottle and log on... controversial im sure but makes for interesting reading! Interesting hub indeed! :)

    • De Greek profile image
      Author

      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      Dave, I am all in favour of raising a smile writing tongue-in-cheek on occasion. I do not always succeed :-))

    • DavePrice profile image

      DavePrice 6 years ago from Sugar Grove, Ill

      I think you should drink and write more often, such truth results with delightful results. Your fans are united in agreement - Martie notwithstanding - such wisdom must be shared, nay thrust upon us. Thrust away my friend.

    • De Greek profile image
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      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      .

      Yes, we cannot really do without the little darlings, Tony :-)))

    • tonymac04 profile image

      Tony McGregor 6 years ago from South Africa

      "There is nothing like a dame" I seem to recall someone singing once a lifetime ago! You have just reinforced that exquisite and deep insight. And then, of course, "Thank heaven for little girls" a very smooth Frenchman used to sing (not sure if that is quite PC these days, but what the heck?!). The sentiment is still valid, 'cos without them what would we do, indeed? And we are all still little boys, really, aren't we? That's why we still drink from bottles, LOL!

      But I dikgress. All I really meant to say was, great Hub, Brother. I really enjoyed it.

      Love and peace

      Tony

    • De Greek profile image
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      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      .

      AutumnLockwood & JohnBarret, always glad to come across fellow Great Thinkers :-)))

    • JohnBarret profile image

      JohnBarret 6 years ago

      Man, I have inspired by your view. You have a brilliant idea of writing and this Hub is production of that idea. You helped me think out of the box.

    • AutumnLockwood profile image

      AutumnLockwood 6 years ago from Northern California

      I must say I agree with your insights. Nice views!

    • De Greek profile image
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      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      I see that our souls are as one on this Katie :-)))))

    • katiem2 profile image

      katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

      I really relate to "Happiness is when the woman you love kisses you while you sleep, thinking that you cannot feel it and when she seeks you out in her own sleep, her arms and legs, her whole self, wrapping around you as if she wants to make you a part of herself" and visa versa, it's a great feeling. This reality and complete ectasy of such experiences leaves me in total awe of my man. There is no need to do anything other than adore him and marvel in all that is HIM! The world would be a better place if more women really learned the amazing joy and pleasure a man has to offer, just shut up and enjoy. Peace and Love :)

    • De Greek profile image
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      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      James, from someone such as you, that is praise indeed! Thanks :-)))

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

      I so enjoyed this, even more than your other masterpieces. This one is a perfect combination of savage wit, keen insights, timeless wisdom, and wordsmithyness. It is wonderfully made! :D

    • De Greek profile image
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      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

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      *** MPG, not only hair gel, but hair gel which is used to shape men's hair in a supposedly casual form. The one taht takes about two hours to achieve :-)))

      .

      Atifhameed, glad you liked it, thanks :-)

    • atifhameed profile image

      atifhameed 6 years ago from Islamabad, Pakistan

      Nice hub, I liked it!! Keep it up!

    • MPG Narratives profile image

      Marie Giunta 6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      You are a brave man DeGreek but also a romantic, which is why you get away with the things you say. lol. Will give this to my hubby to read, I'm sure he will agree with you.

      I love the reference about hair gel, I will laugh every time I see a man with hair gel now. Oh and remember, men are from mars and women don't want to go there.

      PS: The comments are just as much fun to read as this excellent hub, thanks everyone.

    • De Greek profile image
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      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

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      **** Hi Jill. Yes nothing gets past the De Greeks child! ;-)))

      .

      **** I wish I could see your reatio, Nellieanna ;-)))

      .

      **** Hi Moon, yes, we like to provide food for thought ;-)

    • profile image

      Moons 6 years ago

      Something to read about.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      Sure, I'm curious. I'm a normal woman! hehe

    • jill of alltrades profile image

      jill of alltrades 6 years ago from Philippines

      Oh no, so our secrets are out! How did you discover them?

      Seriously though, I love your idea of Contentment and Happiness!

    • De Greek profile image
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      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      Christopher, just place an ad in the classifieds and no doubt one's needs shall be catered to :-)))

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 6 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      Very astute, and keenly observed. But tell me please.

      Where do you find these mexicans that you can hire by the hour. one of them could be very useful.

    • De Greek profile image
      Author

      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      **** Hi Flo. Frankly, only women think that women are not complicated :-)))) - Good to see you again :-)

      .

      **** What a nice thing to say, John :-)

      .

      **** Nighthag, I am really glad that you belong to the section of women who like this. Because there seems to be another one which does not :-) - Many thanks.

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 6 years ago from Australia

      really enjoyed this, I love your sense of humor but oh your romantic side...sigh... "Happiness is when the woman you love kisses you while you sleep, "

      simply beautiful..

    • Shadesbreath profile image

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Nah, you're too funny to forget. Just hard to get reading time mid-semester.

    • FloBe profile image

      FloBe 6 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Well, I perhaps stand alone in saying this: I think men underestimate their abilities to discern what women think or FEEEL (as you put it) They just assume it is much more complicated than it really is! :)

    • De Greek profile image
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      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      **** Hi there IP, nothing wrong with FEEEEEELING but the way women refer to it as a monopoly. Thank you for your good wishes :-)

      .

      **** So, Nellieanna I have you curious eh? I like!!!!!!!!

      .

      **** Hi John, I thought you forgot all about me. Good to see you again :-) - Women are such a mystery and it is such a wonderful adventure trying to work them out. It’s always like taking a watch apart and then putting back together again, but every time you are left over with extra pieces :-)))

    • Shadesbreath profile image

      Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

      Well, we men are a generally retarded lot, so I think it's lucky that any woman will have us. Fortunately, my wife is very tolerant of my failings so long as, as you suggest, she is, erm, happy. As for reckoning the reckoning of the female gender as a whole, I have long ago given up trying. The best a man can do in dealing with them is not to take it personally when they despise him and not to let it get to his head when they fancy him real well.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      Wow, Dimitris! But no - that wasn't the goddess referred to. You see, there's a vast difference between "YOUR goddess" and "A goddess" - lol. I can't wait to see this Elite Hubnugget reference, though. Maybe it will further clarify the difference! ;->

      Hugs.

    • akirchner profile image

      Audrey Kirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

      Dim - That sounds like the way of the world - ah but no disclaimer so I can't be wrong! How about they just market a product called Mr. Stiffy Hair Gel? Of course, they'd need a disclaimer on that one - only works on hair and is not a male enhancement nor a replacement for again your teenie weenie.

      And hey while I'm 'harping' what is wrong with FEEEELING? I would break into song but there's no audio and frankly, I haven't had enough caffeine yet!

      Happy day - you are the salt of the earth with your happy writings.

    • De Greek profile image
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      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      Thank you Pamela. How kind! Kiss you :-)

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 6 years ago from United States

      De Greek, Yes it was fun and I can only say I was my comment was too serious, partially as I had been traveling for a few days and was exhausted arriving home yesterday, then trying to catch up on my reading. You are always most entertaining, which is why I seek out your hubs.

    • De Greek profile image
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      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      **** ladyjane1 Can I quote you please? You have put your finger on it.

      .

      **** IP, I was flying the US once and I was reading a US newspaper on the airplane. I was amused by the story of an alcoholic woman who had miscarried from excessive alcohol drinking and who took Jack Daniels to court for not having a warning on the label that she should not drink to excess while pregnant. The gel users might do the same! ;-)))

      .

      **** Hi Pamela99 – Of course relationships are more complex. This is a bit of fun with a bit of De Greek wisdom thrown in, therefore useless ;-)))

      .

      **** SilentReed when the right one comes along, you will know her and you will marry her. Then you will realize what a bloomer you’ve made and THEN find the right one ;-)))

      .

      **** wilderness the week after next is my turn to write the ‘Elite’ HubNuggets thingummyjig. I am mentioning your name, so keep an eye out for it. As to moving on, there is no need to any more. I have found the one. :-)

      .

      THANK YOU ALL FOR JOINING IN THE FUN!

      .

    • wilderness profile image

      Dan Harmon 6 years ago from Boise, Idaho

      You have astounded me with your insight and knowledge. But, you may want to consider moving on now - those "spiritual" women with the baseball bats are looking for a (De) Greek to "feeeel" with.... :-)

      Thanks - I always enjoy your hubs!

    • SilentReed profile image

      SilentReed 6 years ago from Philippines

      The quintessential woman will always remain elusive and the workings of her mind an enigma.......at least to me :)

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 6 years ago from United States

      DeGreek, This has certainly been an entertaining hub with the variety of comments. I think relationships are a bit more complex and communication is the solid base if you love each other (not that games and sex aren't fun). Having said that, your hub is entertaining as always.

    • akirchner profile image

      Audrey Kirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

      I wonder if the hair gel folks should put this as a disclaimer on the back of their products? Or maybe on the fronts? "This product in no way makes up for your teenie weenie"

      As always, Dim, you are hilarious. Bliss is as you say

      Happiness is when the woman you love kisses you while you sleep, thinking that you cannot feel it and when she seeks you out in her own sleep, her arms and legs, her whole self, wrapping around you as if she wants to make you a part of herself.

      But don't forget the part about I am woman, hear me roar so be careful what you wish for and maybe sleep with one eye open!

      You are a delightfully funny man, Dim. Thanks for the afternoon giggles.

    • ladyjane1 profile image

      ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas

      Nice hub De Greek you seem to be a bit of an expert on women! The only thing I have to add is that I use my husband as a blanket in bed and I wrap myself all around him and he does the same to me. He is the only person whom I have been able to do this with. It use to aggravate me when my exhusband would hug me while I slept it felt confining and irritating. I guess the right person makes all the difference in the world. I am happy and quite content!! Cheers.

    • De Greek profile image
      Author

      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      .

      *** Ken, how nice to see you again. Yes, we are all different, but that is why we should be even more careful in choosing our mate for life. At least in the main things there should be a wedding of souls as well as a physical one. :-)

      .

      *** Nellieanna, I have prepared - and sent in - my 'Elite' HubNugget story for the week after next, in which I refer to YOU as a Goddess. Is that the one you mean? :-))

      .

      *** Dallas, so YOU are the one who wrote this piece! After the hangover, I was wondering where I found it :-)))

      .

      *** Lorie, I am SO glad you agree. Thank you for passing by and you could never pester me with your writing :-)

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      I think you've got this relationship biz figured out, so I'll not pester you with any details.

      Enjoy your 'sleep,' Dimi!

    • dallas93444 profile image

      Dallas W Thompson 6 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

      I feeeeeeeeeeeel you hit the nail on the head! To be contented is blissful ignorance, not knowing when the other wants to make it happen for each other on a daily basis...

      Think I'l try your whiskey... I re-read this and it makes more sense... since I wrote it.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      ;-> Do you translate it for your beautiful goddess?

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 6 years ago

      Hear hear for my friend Green Lotus. I am in total agreement with her sentiments about no two sexes being alike. If one is fortunate to find a mate for life who understands, tolerates, accepts,refuses, loves you for who you are, not what we have.

      Then I will die a contented man, it's not EASY sharing your life with another. They both have to make it happen for each other on a daily basis. Be very fortunate my friend to be kissed and not slugged in your sleep and to have her legs entwined around yours instead of kicking your butt out of bed:0)

      Sounds to me like you live an enchanting life in Sherwood forest I am very happy for you both. Bravo my friend

    • De Greek profile image
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      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      Christopher, first of all cheers and pour another one. Thankfully all my friends here are known for their excellent sense of humour and I have no doubt that they join me here with their comments in a spirit of fun :D

    • Christopher Price profile image

      Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA

      Dimitri my friend,

      This was a bold and ballsy hub. I commend you for your courage...or recklessness.

      As far as the comment that offered the analogy that men and women are like apples and oranges, I suggest adding a mellow Rioja for a refreshing San Gria!

      In bed my lady used to wrap herself around me like a vine around an oak tree, and soon we'd be neglecting sleep. After 25 years together I know she's just trying to warm her ice cold feet!

      One of my favorite quotes says: A woman marries a man hoping she can change him, while a man marries a woman hoping she will never change.

      If you've drained that bottle you'll have to excuse me while I take a pour from mine.

      Cheers.

      CP

    • De Greek profile image
      Author

      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

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      ..... ACSutliff, I have NO doubt that some boys will be dust beneath your heel, but MEN will smile and walk off, with you or someone like you trailing behind begging for attention :-))) - (Just my personal viewpoint on relationships, without any offence meant)

      .

      .... GL of course we are all different. I am speaking from the point of view of men who have the same approach to relationships as I and my approach is not for everyone :-)

      .

      THANK YOU BOTH FOR JOINING IN THE FUN!

      .

    • Green Lotus profile image

      Hillary 6 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      DG all I can say is that I believe no two men and no two women are alike and often they are wildly dissimilar; therefore, I refuse to acknowledge categorizing the sexes. I either like someone or I don't. We all come with our own distinctive psychological baggage and it is that which makes us who we are. Forget the hormones.

    • ACSutliff profile image

      ACSutliff 6 years ago

      Your thoughts on happiness and contentment are most interesting. I've always considered contentment to be below happiness. The ritual of head dropping has become a bit obsolete to my generation, so your boys will be dust beneath my girls' three inch stiletto heels!

    • De Greek profile image
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      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      Hi Steve, glad you liked it and thank you for the kind words :-)

    • SteveoMc profile image

      SteveoMc 6 years ago from Pacific NorthWest

      Once again a delightful take on the weird world. With no hair, I cannot try the hair gel idea. I wish that a little hair gel would make my life better. Of course, contentment as you describe it is poetic. Thanks for the TIC.

    • De Greek profile image
      Author

      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

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      *** Brother Neelesh if she will not come across, perhaps it's time to look for pastures new:-)))

      '

      *** HH, there bad men around as there are bad women. That is why it is important to make proper choices from the beginning carefully avoiding carefully arranged, gelled hair as a first step in the right direction :-)))

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

      How can you poor men bear your cross? How about us with these demon of men?

    • neeleshkulkarni profile image

      neeleshkulkarni 6 years ago from new delhi

      ahaha guess in our case I am the one who kisses her softly on the lips hoping and all that and I am the one that reaches out and hope she feels upto IT.,

      but yes donbt use gel and my willieee--- well I have reallife friends on this very forum hence cannot comment

    • De Greek profile image
      Author

      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

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      *** Hi FP. Actually I am both :-)

      .

      *** Melinda My Love, thank you for your kind words :-)

      .

      *** Friend Nellieanna, your diplomatic comment noted and assimilated :-)))

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      What a contrast with your last hub, which was so sublime!

    • msorensson profile image

      msorensson 6 years ago

      Wow...go ahead and brag about it...lol

      "We have an agreement NEVER to go to bed upset with each other and so our other communication is never affected :-)"

      Yes, if I ever get married again...IF...I would etch that agreement in stone ....

      Oh I am soo happy for both of you, beloved friend.

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 6 years ago

      So, DG, are you content or are you happy? :D

    • De Greek profile image
      Author

      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      *** Violet, you are a Princess and you deserve happiness :-)

      *** Melinda, my wife and I talk about books and politics and ethics and we argue about them passionately some times. That is talking/communicating to me. We ahve an agreement NEVER to go to bed upset with each other and so our other communication is never affected :-)

      *** Lisa and Jack, you seem to be ready for a great party and I wish you well. Have a SPIRITUAL party full of FEEEEEELING with or without the gel :-))

    • lisadpreston profile image

      lisadpreston 6 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

      Well, you should know, jack the writer. Would you hurry up? The big boss will be pleased with our writing skills. Take a cab, but don't forget the whiskey! Or the "other" gel. I don't want any talking either.

    • profile image

      jack_the_writer 6 years ago from Central Ohio

      Lisa must be drinking, too, since she missed De Greek (with a space) and should have written "you're an editor" as a contraction. But I love her either way. And I'm headed to her place with the "other" gel.

    • lisadpreston profile image

      lisadpreston 6 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

      Jack the writer- UHH you're still drunk. You can't even spell DeGreek right and your an editor. And there is a space between hair gel. I didn't notice the hair gel the other night.

    • profile image

      jack_the_writer 6 years ago from Central Ohio

      Dagreek. I think Lisa must have been drinking the other night because I was wearing hairgel when she had multiple o's. Your hub is RIGHT on the mark, by the way, but I can't understand how you are able to write drunk.

    • lisadpreston profile image

      lisadpreston 6 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

      Hey, you write pretty dam good for drinking a bottle of whiskey. You should see what I write after a bottle of whiskey.(Hiccup)Now all I can say is, the only thing I want to feeeeeeeeeeeeeel is those multiple orgasms. Hair gel just doesn't cut it. Great (hiccup) hub! You may want to hit the deny button on this comment. (hiccup)

    • msorensson profile image

      msorensson 6 years ago

      Nooo...akkkhh..lol..it is not negotiating for sex...ha ha ha..you see we are miscommunicating already De Greek. That is what I mean!! You talk as a form of communication on one level..sex is another level of communication.

    • VioletSun profile image

      VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      "And if you want to know the difference between Happiness and Contentment, you have come to the right man: When there is a state of mind by which the mind and body are in accord, without friction, that is Contentment"

      I agree with this. Beautiful! Contentment is more enduring than "happiness" as happiness fluctuates depending on what is going on in our dual world.

      When I ended my last relationship with an older wealthy, emotionally abusive alcoholic, I wanted to be ALONE for the rest of my life, but... I did say in a sort of a prayer, "if I ever meet another mate, then I want him to be spiritual, intelligent and around my age". I met such a man two months later; I fell in love with his spirit, and here we are 8 years later, grateful for our deep friendship. Last evening, he hugged me and expressed appreciation for my being in his life. And yes, I am the type of partner who gives a little kiss while her prince is sleeping. :)

      Always enjoy reading you!

    • De Greek profile image
      Author

      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      *** Martie, this story refers to an actual story I have read online and does not refer to you. I do not know why you thought that it would. But thank you for your hand of friendship even under conditions by which you thought it referred to you ;-)

    • De Greek profile image
      Author

      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      *** cameciob I have too much experience with women to ever believe that I know them :-)))

      You are, of course, correct. This small story is in no way complete. Just a drop in a very big ocean, but one has to make a start :-)

    • De Greek profile image
      Author

      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      *** Hi Melinda, glad you agree with me :-)

      But I cannot agree with you about talking (negotiating) for sex. If I am not compatible with a woman, I just walk off. Period. :-)

    • msorensson profile image

      msorensson 6 years ago

      Oh.. I forgot...and this is for the men who will read this, De Greek, you know this already. Men want more sex. To get more sex, then the men have to talk, talk, talk..lol..

      It is soooo simple...so simple. There will be more sex than any man can handle if only they would talk more to that woman..the woman they want.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 6 years ago from South Africa

      Sir De Greek, I suspect you’ve pinpointed the exact cause of all domestic violence: Women being SPIRITUAL and able to FEEEEEEL!

      But, what men don’t know, and this is a secret: Women are not only spiritual. They are also intelligent and driven by their instinct to raise the children she has bore. All normal women will tolerate a gelled-hair man with a small willy for ages as long as he provides a roof over the head of her children and food in their stomachs.

      I am not sure if you made this shoe for me, because it does not really fit me perfectly. You’ve got some open nails in it. If you had me in mind, you may tag it with my name after you have removed those nails. And what about some polish and silver glitters? I love pretty shoes :))

      I love your opinions, De Greek. It is always good to see any issue through the eyes of a man with logical and practical thoughts. So feel free to respond on my hubs in this manner. I will not feel offended, and if I do, I will complain. I will scream OUCH!

      By the way, I was fortunate - Jo did not use or need any gel.

      A last thought: Considering your definition of happiness it seems to me I am not at all happy, but very-very contented.

      Enjoy your happiness!

    • cameciob profile image

      cameciob 6 years ago

      Yes, De Greek, msorensson is wright, you are being romantic, and isn't this wnat we like about men too?

      I have to say that for me it is always fun to hear what men have to say about women. And how they pretend they know the pure truth when, in fact, they just hope for a divine imput so they know what to do with their women.

      This is a nice try De Greek but it isn't complete. The true nature of females may be so simple that our minds cannot even think of it.

    • msorensson profile image

      msorensson 6 years ago

      Wow...lol...I must say I agree with you wholeheartedly...

      This is what we all seek... a man we can kiss while asleep...not wanting to wake him up...for the poor fellow has worked or played the whole day..lol..

      This is romantic, De Greek..

      "Happiness is when the woman you love kisses you while you sleep, thinking that you cannot feel it and when she seeks you out in her own sleep, her arms and legs, her whole self, wrapping around you as if she wants to make you a part of herself."

    • De Greek profile image
      Author

      De Greek 6 years ago from UK

      *** drbj, are you bucking out now? First you get me to write this and then you say that the female will be upset? You should have told me this before. :-))))

      But not a single comment on my poetic output? You are a bad girl :-)

      *** mwatkins, taking a chance in leaving a comment? You mean you are the one who keeps passing by without leaving a comment? :-)

      And you are right about women advising women about men. The blind leading the blind, I say… :-)

      And I have no idea why they have that ad :-)))

      *** klw1157, when you find that perfect partner, apples and oranges can do very well together and not only for a few minutes.....:-)))

      *** Brother Mentalist acer how is it that you can always put a smile on my face? Thank you for passing by :-)

      *** Gypsy Willow I am glad we agree on the definitions. I made a proposal to you on Lisa Preson’s site and you did not respond :-)

      *** Petra yes, indeed she does this all the time :-)

    • Petra Vlah profile image

      Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

      While you were asleep, your gentle side whispered to you in soft and loving voice: “I would rather have you tell me a beautiful lie than a brutal truth”

    • Gypsy Willow profile image

      Gypsy Willow 6 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

      I like your definitions of Happiness and Contentment, so true. You may have to keep a low profile on hubpages for a while, but as they say, "In vino veritas!" Bottoms up!

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 6 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      Money along with status never hurt,along with a little mind reading,Lol;)

    • klw1157 profile image

      Kevin Washburn 6 years ago from Macon, GA

      Men and women will never really understand each other for they are the perfect example of Black and White, Apples and Oranges, and Mars and Venus. As for the ability to torture us I can't make myself believe that it is so much wanting to as it is wanting us to see things through their eyes which simply is never going to happen. One thing is for certain however, the things you addressed in your last paragraph are what, without question, make everything OK for a few minutes at least and keeps us coming back. Admittedly when it is wrong it can most certainly be torture but when it is right there is nothing else like it in the world. The next best things are a distant second.

      As for the jerk in jeans at a black tie event, apparently his mother never told him that while it is perfectly accepatable for a female to stand out, in fact even expected, it is also expected that a well dressed man should blend in. Anything else is just void of any class!

    • mwatkins profile image

      mwatkins 6 years ago from Portland, Oregon & Vancouver BC

      hello DeGreek, I am taking a chance on leaving you a comment because whatever I say is going to - of course - be "right." ;-) LOL Very well put male point of view. I have learned that the person I am with had better be able to talk to be because as I get older a good conversation that makes us both laugh will be remembered and appreciated far longer than anything else. We do talk two different languages - men and women, that's for sure, but that kiss you describe and the cuddling you elaborated on are the true engineering of a soul mate. One thing I have observed is that when a woman trys to understand a man she asks another woman - THAT IS SO WRONG. If we only spent more time going to the source - or even asking another man instead we may find out that what we thought was - RIGHT - is - WRONG. And, in my humble opinion, I believe that our communication skills, insight and energy spent would be better directed for a more worthwhile conclusion and understanding. Not only of ourselves, but of each other.

      And one more thing - Why did Ads by Google choose to include - "MALE HAIR LOSS" - in your hub? Hmmmm ;-)

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 6 years ago from south Florida

      Beware, Dimi. If that Hub writer of the female kind finds you, she may follow the precept of: "To err is human; to revenge, divine."