- Gender and Relationships
You Probably Have Poor Social Skills And Here's How To Stop
With advances in technology furthermore eliminating the need to make face to face contact with actual human beings, our society is losing all basic social skills that separate us from primal animals and robots. Actually, Siri probably has better social skills than some of the people I deal with on a daily basis. It’s amazing how painfully difficult it is sometimes just to have a simple, normal conversation with another person now. Everyone seems to be caught in their own matters to care about the courtesy of others. If you are doing any of the following things than you social skills need some fine tuning.
Take Your Face Out Of Your Phone
Everywhere I go now: The mall, the movies, concerts, funerals, people think that what's on their newsfeed is more important than the world around them. People are more obsessed with seeing an experience through a screen rather with their own eyes and it absolutely sickens me.
I recently went to a Garth Brooks concert. I paid a good amount of money to get seats just a few rows from the stage and it was worth it. He put on probably of the best shows I have ever seen. Besides one picture, I never had my phone out during the show because i wanted to experience it in that moment, but I couldn't say that about the person next to me. From start to finish I saw this woman with her cell phone out, either record videos, taking picture and even looking at her social media feeds. How do pay all this money for once in the lifetime experience and not want to see it with your own eyes?
You need the enjoy events at that moment through your own perspective, not through a tiny screen.
When you see a person constantly looking at their devices it's a sign of a detachment from reality and poor social skills. Schedule your time on the phone to when you wake up, middle of day lunch break, and before you go to bed.
Look People In The Eye
I can't count the number of times I have had a conversation with someone and I see them starring in another direction, or even looking down at their phone. Its just downright disrespectful. Maybe they’re actually listening, but it doesn't feel like it. When you are having a conversation, it is best to look them in the eye and acknowledge that you are listening to them. A seem head nod will do. If you make a person feel like you have their attention you’ll any chance of gaining their respect and generosity.
Shut Up and Listen
I’m sure you have some good stories, solid advice and some great insight, but that shouldn't matter. People do not take the time to listen anymore. You will not learn all the things you don’t listen to. The people you’re talking to might have some good advice for a problem you have going on. Allowing other people to talk could help them and they’ll associate you as a person. I’m not saying take the Teller approach, insight on the conversion is important, and don't interrupt when they are speaking.
Keeping a door open for someone, holding an elevator, saying “excuse me” and “thank you,” being a courteous gentleman or lady seems to be dying trait. I still these attributes with older people, but the younger generation don't seems to have any sense of politeness or manners.
My parents always taught me to hold open doors, let people in before yourself and respond with “please” “thank you” and “you’re welcome” with a smile. I just don't see this anymore. Every expects to have things done for them not out of politeness, but out of necessity and it irritates many when someone doesn't use simple manners. Everyone should practice these basic habits, especially when meeting with important people, a job, a promotion, a prominent opportunity could be riding on it.
Say The Person's Name Repeatedly
ave you ever been talking to someone and they refer to you as “buddy” or “dude” “bro” or nothing at all? They probably forgot your name. Doesn't it make you feel bad about yourself that someone thinks you’re completely insignificant that they can't remember your name? A lot of people have trouble remembering people’s names. They meet someone new and soon as the conversation is over they’re like “Damn, what was their name again?”
First i’ll give you some advice on how you can remember someone’s name: When you are introduced to someone, after you learn their name say: “Nice to meet you (name).” Then at the end of the conversation say “Nice meeting you (name)” and make sure you look at the person when saying these. Repeating their name and looking at their help you associate the two and store into your long term memory.
Now if you still forgot their name, a little trick I’ve used, and you’ll need a friend for this is to have a code word or phrase set up with the friend and when you see someone who’s name you forgot, say the code and that friend will either introduce themselves ask for their name or if they already know them also, than they will say their name when they see them.
It is important that you know someone’s name and make sure they know you know it. It establishes a personal relationship with the person and they’ll be inclined to want to converse in the future.