A tale of 2 boats: relation-ship versus compagnon-ship
I wonder why we still speak of relationships in old and stringent terms.
I wonder why we still speak of relationships in old and stringent terms. On one hand we fear to evolve. On the other hand, we change into... evolvement!
One of the things we do in life is go and look for a unique and exclusive relationship with any other. Depending on our desires, a woman or a man. We can "relate" to.
Most of the time, we are looking for a sense of tendernesss, security, ... And of course sexual fulfillment.
One of the things we do in life is go and look for a unique and exclusive relationship with any other.
While there exists a whole range of industries that support a certain romantic ideal; Most of the time our relationships don't go as easy as portrayed in movies and such.
In our ever so fast changing society, we often get confused and anxious within our relationships.
We want to love. Give love. Receive love...
We most of the time don't get it: But all the conditioning around us, alienates us from ourselves!
In all this, we rarely understand how we are conditioned and programmed into certain "normal" behavior when it comes to relationships.
Life itself is already confusing enough. Next to that, being in an intimate relationship seems to, at times, exponentially confuse us.
Or, exponentially enlarge, our already strong inner confusion!
We most of the time don't get it: But all the conditioning around us, alienates us from ourselves!
We act to the best of our understanding, in trying to attract a "suitable" partner
Not truly understanding our deeper spiritual nature, nor our more materialistic and animalistic side, we act to the best of our understanding, in trying to attract a "suitable" partner. From whom we think he or she will solve all of our issues.
Unaware of our own inner diversity we tend to project to our partners.
Unaware of our own inner diversity we tend to project to our partners. Which is in itself not so much a problem.
Be it, that we usually project all sorts of hidden or unacknowledged sides of ourselves onto the ones we consider our intimate relationship partners.
This mainly is the result of living a not so highly conscious life.
So as a result, all kinds of "unwanted" situations pop up within our relationships.
The "other" doesn't seem to get us. Doesn't seem to understand us. And in the end, doesn't seem to care about us.
While, in actuality, we look in the mirror at a distorted image of ourselves.
Without really knowing it, we carry a lot of expectations about how our ideal partner should be...
Our real partner of flesh and blood, of course, isn't able to cope with the whole of our checklist of desires and necessary features...
Surprisingly, we seldom are honest to ourselves. Nor to our partner(s).
Surprisingly, we seldom are honest to ourselves. Nor to our partner(s).
As a result we often end up feeling betrayed, in one way of another. Be it justified, or not.
We also have to understand how we still live upto ages old rules. Ever so often, driven by primal desires.
We also have to understand how we still live upto ages old rules. Ever so often, driven by primal sexual desires.
Sexual drives, we most of the time have learned to suppress and at least ignore into oblivion.
So, all and all, we seem to carry the burden of all generations who preceded us.
So, all and all, we seem to carry the burden of all generations who preceded us. Where so many times, we don't seem to be able to see a way out, out of the emotional and relational deadlock.
Is there no way towards any sort of liberation?
"Is there no way towards any sort of liberation?", we wonder.
In a way, implying and expecting liberation has to come from the outside.
The possible solution will be to change our views and concepts how we look at "relating in intimate ways".
The possible solution will be to change our views and concepts how we look at "relating in intimate ways".
In our ever so changing world, feeling the old paradigms concerning intimacy don't hold up any longer, we will come up with solutions.
First of all we will go look for solving most of our inner conflicts.
First of all we will go look for solving most of our inner conflicts.
Not so much by feeding the need for projection onto others.
More likely we will become more conscious. More conscious in understanding who we ourselves, and all so called "others" are.
Next to that we will change our focus more towards what I call "companionship".
Next to that we will change our focus more towards what I call "companionship".
Meaning, we will change our expectations where it comes down to in what "the other" has to deliver. To us. To the relationship. Now evolving towards a "companionship".
Caring, taking care of, understanding, honesty, and honest and deep communication will be the features of this new way of relating to.
So, all this to say, we probably are about to take a big step for mankind.
So, all this to say, we probably are about to take a big step for mankind.
To become kind and caring mankind. (Men and women!)
You all are hereby invited to join, the new consciousness. The new paradigm. The paradigm of "companionship!"
Oh, by the way: This article is not meant to be "complete" in any way. For that I would need to write a book.It is merely meant as a teaser to make my readers start thinking about this topic.
Which doesn't mean I am not inviting you to discuss and add your own views in the comments...
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Namaste!
Antoine
© 2019 Antoine Van Hove
