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A man's advice for women part 1

Updated on October 1, 2013

Men to avoid

Men to avoid

After many years of marriage I find myself divorced. I going to be the first to admit I really do not know how to evaluate a woman but I am a man and I do understand men. I have met a number of women my age who have really no idea how to evaluate a man, I want to thank them for giving me the inspiration for this hub. When my girls were growing up I would from time to time bring up the topic of men. I daddy was not always going to be the most important man in their lives nor should I be. The most important person in your life is who you marry therefore I always told them to choose wisely. I saw the quality of young men my sisters dated and compared them with the quality of men my daughters dated and I was frankly impressed. I do want to say that most of my sisters did marry very fine men, however some dates that were simply not the best choices. I never saw any of my girls with anything but the nicest of young men. I have to ask why?

I believe it started out with the way I treated my girls, as a woman your father treated you as he did it is what it is and there is nothing you can do at this point. What I can share with you is the importance of finding a good man and the men to avoid.

So what kind of men should a woman avoid?

I would love to hear your guesses at this point.

Momma’s boy

I am sure this is no surprise to anyone reading this hub. A momma’s boy can have some advantages. He is used to treasuring his mother a woman and will likely treat you the same. The problem is these men tend to be low wage earners but more importantly do you as a woman want to spend your life playing second to your mother in law?

So how can you spot a momma’s boy? This one is pretty easy. A momma’s boy will talk about his momma early and often. He will often do it with passion. Most men will tell you their mom made good jam. A momma’s boy will put passion behind it. “I loved it when my mom made jam! She would bake the best bread and I would be so happy.” A momma’s boy will bring up his mom often. If you have any doubt about what I am talking about watch a story on Elvis Presley’s life. When having a dinner date this type of man will mention how great of cook his momma is.

Frat boy

The second type which I think a few people will disagree with me on is the frat boy. Let me define a frat boy. A frat boy is a man who likes to join clubs and lives his life around them. The important statement here is that he makes the club the center of his life. It does not have to be a college frat it may be a street gang, a political party, and a gun or car club, Frat boys come in two types. The first is a follower. This type of man joins the fraternity for a number of reasons but feels comfortable with a group consensus. This type of man can have some positive assets but don’t expect him to be strong when the going gets tough. Some of the red flags for a man of this type show up in some typical instances. Assume the two of you went out on a date to a movie and the movie was terrible. You might say I did not like the movie. His response would not be that he liked the movie or disliked the movie. His statement would be the critics loved this movie or his brother liked it. (better yet if he say's his mom liked it you have a two for one boy here) If you want a man who can lead around by the nose then this is the guy for you. This kind of man has some benefits. He can be a very good family man. The characteristics that make him a loyal member of a club may make him a loyal member of the family.

There are two types of frat boys the first and most common is the follower the second is the leader. The leader frat boy is the type of guy who seems to enjoy a sense of power. Since many of the frat boys are good followers the leader finds a home in the club or fraternity.. If you are the type of woman who needs a man to run many of the aspects of your life then he may be an acceptable mate.

The Blamer

In my book this is the second most undesirable type of man I warned my daughters about. This man is easy to identify because he will dwell on problems such as traffic being bad, he did not get his raise or even his mother did not shovel the snow so he was late. The blamer will often even smile while he is complaining. When you see a guy smiling when he complains run don;t walk. The blamer can be very good at problem solving but he will seldom look at his faults and will very often blame you. The blamer tends to be a poor wage earner and often lose their job due to attitude.

The man who thinks for others

The man who thinks for others is the worst type of man a woman can ever get involved with. They are very easy to spot and I told my daughters if you see a man like this don’t walk run! It has been my experience that most wife abusers exhibit these characteristics. Comments that should send you running are: “He thinks I am his slave” "I don't know how you could act like that" “You will like this if you try it!” “You think that your are too good for me!” I will give you the answer to that right here regardless of who you are and the answer is yes you are too good for this guy. Some comments you may ignore would be where a man uses a well used saying such as “My kids think I am made out of money”.

You will know really fast if you have found one of these guys because he will try to make you feel guilty for not giving him his way. Many times he will ask for your opinion and do just the opposite or belittle for it. This guy is often makes comments about how other think and will soon be trying to tell you what to think. The man who thinks for others is very bad news and I would advise any woman to steer clear of a man who displays such tendencies. Ladies there are too many men in the world to settle for this kind of man.

All of the types I describe can be handsome good wage earners and even seem like fun in the beginning. They can be church goers, and seem like outstanding citizens. Don't be fooled.

I would love to see a woman write such a hub on women! Any takers ladies? Let me know I will even link it on my blog and this hub.

The man you marry is the most important decision you will ever make. Shouldn’t you make a wise decision?


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    • Daddy Paul profile imageAUTHOR

      Daddy Paul 

      6 years ago from Michigan


      Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince. A guy who orders for you will surely think for you. Consider it a blessing.

    • yoginijoy profile image


      6 years ago from Mid-Atlantic, USA

      One time I dated a guy who ordered for me in a restaurant! Yikes! Sadly, I continued to date him for a while. Later in the relationship I was invited out to dinner with his parents. AND HIS FATHER ORDERED FOR ME! Can you believe that? What kind of men are those? Not only did he order for me, but he ordered kidneys! I did not eat. I gave the father my meal and soon thereafter broke up with his son. What a family! Definitely in the "thinking and ordering" for others group. I have to say now I am happily married to a normal human being!

    • Mellonyy profile image


      6 years ago

      Good explanation for 'frat boy', I have a transient relationship with that kind.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I thoroughly enjoyed your article! Tell me, please, what type of man are you?

    • Daddy Paul profile imageAUTHOR

      Daddy Paul 

      6 years ago from Michigan

      I hope you do. It will be great reading!

    • writerjoy profile image


      6 years ago from Kenya

      Very interesting hub! Maybe one day I'll write one about the ladies :-)

    • Dolores Monet profile image

      Dolores Monet 

      6 years ago from East Coast, United States

      It can be tough to judge a man for a young woman. Often they get carried away with his looks, and don't see the person beyond. I had to laugh at 'my kids think that I'm made of money.' A lot of people, both men and woman say this because it is often true, haha. But girls should listen to their fathers who most often want what is best for their daughters. Daddy might seem mean, but he is trying to protect his girl.


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