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causes of misunderstanding and quarrelling in Marriage and how to solve them

Updated on August 16, 2011

Generally a misunderstanding can be termed as a situation when a person fails to understand or get what the other is saying. Quarrelling on the other hand involves when two or more people fail to agree or differ on certain issue.

Misunderstandings and quarrellings are most of the times common in our relationships be it in marriages or come we stay together relationships and as such separation and divorces are skyrocketing. Relationships fail to last beyond the honeymoon period and you will find the man and the woman are mostly after one another’s necks trying to outdo one another. In other words marriages and relationships are turning to be a sort of short term commitments instead of being long term commitments that are meant to give rise to families.

Major causes of marital misunderstanding and quarrelling

· Husband or wife infidelity- this is the major cause of misunderstandings in relationships and marriages. It occurs when one partner believes that the other engages in an extramarital relationship with another party. It could be a claim that one partner believes to exist but has no substantial evidence to proof it, it could be a reality and a thing that truly exists but for sure it can turn out to be a relationship spoiler and breaker if not handled carefully.

· One partner feeling unloved and uncared for- this happens when either the man or the woman is of the believe that he/she isn’t loved or cared for the way they wanted to be. Marriage is based on the fundamental of loving and caring for one another at all times whatever the prevailing situation is but what happens if that doesn’t materialize as required? It will surely lead to the feeling of not being part of the relationship and hence break up, separation or divorce.

· Interference from other people who cause friction among them- this is also a major cause of misunderstanding and quarrelling in relationships and marriages. It usually occurs as a result of interference from other people who may be having the intention of causing misunderstanding and friction between them. These kind of people can be termed as marriage intruders who get satisfaction when partners in a relationship disagree.


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· The man not providing financially for his family- it’s the responsibility of the man to provide for his family financially all the times but what do you think will happen if he fails to carry out this mandate? Quarrelling and misunderstanding will occur of course.

· Role conflict- in a relationship each partner has certain roles that he/she is meant to undertake for the good of them but what do you think will happen should a role conflict or a situation when one partner tries to assume the role of the other occurs? E.g what if the man is supposed to assume the role of baby-sitting babies when the woman is around and is okey? Do you think he will always be happy with undertaking that role? I seriously doubt.

To keep a relationship intact and prevent it from collapsing the above challenges among many others I haven’t mentioned here should be addressed sufficiently. The two partners in the relationship should convince themselves that they have no reason whatsoever to always quarrel and misunderstand one another for petty things. Dialogue should be given a chance to sort out whatever misunderstandings and quarrels that may arise between them. Openness and sincerity should also exist between them thereby eliminating acts of backstabbing, insincerity, mistrust and all other things that may not result in a healthy relationship.

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    • profile image

      David 3 years ago

      I appreciate your kind and greeuons advice a lot!. I have been trying it hardly and did not get those amazing results!. It is nice to see that you got my comment in a good way!God bless you!VA:F [1.9.10_1130]please wait VA:F [1.9.10_1130](from 0 votes)

    • profile image

      Nook 3 years ago

      Always reenfshirg to hear a rational answer.

    • HattieMattieMae profile image

      HattieMattieMae 6 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

      right on the dot, with all your points! :)

    • Godiva-Inc profile image

      Godiva-Inc 6 years ago from Johannesburg, South Africa

      I'd love an in-depth explanation of my so-called boyfriend's behaviour... I didn't answer the phone when he called a couple of weeks ago, he hasn't really spoken to me since - that's an extreme reaction, isn't it? i wonder what's going on, missing a call isn't that bad is it?

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