Online Dating: Your Profile Pic is Creeping Me Out!

Hey there, fellas! Are you using an online dating service and getting nowhere? Are you wondering why the chicks just aren't responding to you? Maybe it is your profile pic. Are you asking yourself, "Well, how do I know if it's my profile pic? It looks good to me." Well, that is why I am here. I can help you so you go from creepy to cute in no time!

Profile photos are EXTREMELY important. Yes, I know, we all care about what's on the inside. Blah, blah, blah. I am not a shallow person, but I still like to have an idea who is talking to me. So please, use a photo in your profile. If you don't have a great camera, that's OK. Walmart sells disposable cameras for about $5; they'll even develop the film for you. So go out there and take some nice photos.

Of course, the photo itself is really important too. The ladies aren't going to respond to you if they think you look like a serial killer. Here are some examples of profile pics gone wrong:

Why does your online pic look like a mugshot? If you don't know what I am talking about, you might be guilty of this offense. Please take a second look at your profile pic. Is it a close up? Do you have a vacant stare? Did you forget to shave for a while or are you wearing a wife beater? Dude, I hate to tell you this, but your pic looks like a mugshot. Please keep in mind, women don't want to date you if they don't think they will survive the date.

I know, you can brench press a million pounds or something. Good for you. Leave a little to the imagination and wear a shirt. You look conceited. For all I know, maybe you are, but at least try to hide that fact for a little while. Shesh.

OK, maybe you don't have 6 pack abs. Maybe you are just sitting around shirtless for no reason. All the more reason to put that shirt back on! If you have man boobs, please stop grossing women out.

You are sitting at your computer, minding your own business, and decide it would be fun to take a webcam pic. That is nice. Everyone likes webcams. Don't use that as your profile pic. Nothing says "sad" more than some dude sitting in front of his computer in his parents' basement posting lonely photos online. 

Have some friends take some photos of you.  I am sure they would enjoy it.  Have fun with your online dating profile.  The experience isn't supposed to be glum!

Yes, we've all seen it. Yes, most of us have been guilty of taking part in this. Back in the day when Myspace was the biggest thing going, we all had one. Everyone stood in front of their mirror, posed, and snapped that photo while trying to look cool. It was clever at the time. Some of those photos are still cute... sort of.

For now, we are living in 2011. It is time to get away from that photo and post something new as a profile pic. When you post a photo like that now, women think one of two things: 1) oh, this is an old photo - he must look really old now! or 2) why is he still taking lame photos like this? Ewww! So just stop! Or at least, stop showing them to the public!

I am sure you were really hot in 1982. Thanks for posting a photo from back then. The 80s were awesome, but please, let's keep it real now. You are not fooling anyone.

I know I am not the youngest chick on the block, but I am also not the oldest. If I say I want to date a guy between the ages of 25 - 40 I mean it! Don't try to fool anyone with your old photo. It's not cool, gramps, so get a life! When I want a sugar daddy, I will mention that in my profile.

They say that breaking up is hard to do, but it's time to do it, pal.  Don't use a picture of you with your ex-girlfriend as your profile pic.  Are you kidding me?  Nothing says "I don't know how to pick up the pieces and move on" more than that.  Let me be perfectly honest with you - I don't care if you are just friends or not, I don't want to see how great you look with some other woman.  It is just weird.  If I am browsing photos and all I see is a picture of you with some other woman, I am not even going to stop to read the caption.  So delete that photo now!

I hope I have been able to help some of you out there. I know what you are thinking, "But there are so many terrible photos of women online too!" Of course, I know that must be true. My friend, that is not the page for me to write. By all means, I would love to read a man's version of this. Seriously, I need all the help I can get.