Understanding Men - Decoding men and debunking some myths about them

Contrary to the popular belief that men are insensitive, they don’t listen, jerk, self centered or you name it bad attitudes, they are not like that at all only if you understand where they are coming from.

Men are not from Mars afterall

Yes, I had three failed relationships so far but come to think of it I couldn’t blame them why it failed and not blaming myself too. Maybe it is not yet time or we are not really meant for each other. Sometimes you cant understand why a relationship failed in the first place and you can only fully analyze the failed relationship after awhile when you have moved on and then you promised yourself you will do better next time. Sad to say, you should pick up the lesson and moving on is a must thing to do. The question is, how can we understand our men better? We can only understand them if we know what is really happening and what are their thoughts on some important misconceptions about them.

This article is in defense of men so that we may understand them better. Oftentimes we have many misconceptions about men and it is to our best interest that we may understand them so that we may have a good loving and lasting relationship with them.

1. Myth number 1 ---- Men don’t know how to listen and communicate

My answer: Men do talk and if they like to talk, they talk a lot. You just have the right timing and approach

If you want to discuss something with a man, wait when he is not tired and is ready to talk. They are scared of the word “we need to talk”. It is not that they are scared of the women but then I think they are scared that they didn’t come up with the expectation and they screwed up on something and they need to explain to you. Yes they are afraid when you say that, because it means you are going to vent against them, and if they talk, they are scared they can be wrong or you might take the word against them, and they will have to dwell with history and their past mistakes will be brought up so sometimes they just pretend not to listen to women’s complain and unending litany. But once you changed your approach to them they are indeed a talking machine if they feel comfortable talking to you because you are not questioning or pressuring them at all.

Do men listen at all? Well it depends on your approach, sometimes men just pretend not to listen but they do listen. One time with my ex boyfriend, I was talking to him about a movie while he is watching a sports (bad timing). (Don’t ever talk to a man when they are watching sports). I told him that I want to watch a certain movie, after talking how nice the movie would be, I stop because all I thought is that he is listening, but when I ask, can we watch the movie? He turned to me with a blank look as if I came from another planet, so I just continue what I am doing. Little did I know that when the game he was watching is already finished, he went to rent the movie with my favorite chips in tow. How sweet, and a little kiss on the cheek will do the trick for them.

2. Myth number 2--- Men are unemotional, insensitive, uncaring and never romantic

My answer: Men can be sensitive, caring and romantic individual

Why are they scared of saying I love you? I say that men are the most romantic ones, only if they made up their mind and heart that you are the one for them otherwise they may still want to play the field and are not ready to commit. When men are in love and is financially ready, you don’t need to wait for them to ask you for a deeper commitment, it will just come from them. They just do it--- Nike. What about other men who have hard up saying I love you, well they show their love to you in other ways and sometimes you need to tell them first because men doesn’t want to blurt it, but they can feel it. And who said that men cannot be romantic? I have a past boyfriend who managed to write a 27 pages love letter notes for me, if that is not love I don’t know what you call it They are also romantic, most men would just love cuddling and watching television together during dates. It may be true that at times they just want to have sex, but mature men doesn’t do that, they want more quality time together in the best romantic ways. Men sometimes have a hard time buying a card that is why they are being tagged as unromantic, the truth is that they don’t know what to buy or what is the appropriate card to give, as usual they don’t want to fail you, and that is not bad, it just shows they care and is sensitive to your feelings.

3. Myth number 3 ---- Men are scared of commitment

Why are they scared of committing and getting married?

My answer: Men are not scared of commitment, they are just scared that they cant provide for you and they will become failure if they cant sustain your needs specially financially as well as emotional needs.

Men are still seen as the primary provider so if they are not yet secured financially themselves they cant commit yet. You see, men want to always "man up", protect the woman they love with money and love. If the other one is lacking they might not commit yet.

Men doesn’t want to commit at times not because they are not in love with you, but the thing is sometimes the timing is bad like they are still paying some debts, and they have no stable income etc. Sometimes they love you but they have other priorities too, like jobs, career and studying.

I hope this article contribute to the understanding of the men in our lives.