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Being the middle female child between an older sister and a younger brother
When I read an article written by someone who felt like a loser to their siblings I laughed..loudly. I am EXACTLY a middle female with an older sister and younger brother. But I'm no loser. Far from it. Yeah, I've heard the "middle child" stuff but its all a bunch of hogwash to me. Matter of fact, I'm the middle child who is most dependable, most successful, most relied upon by the other two, and the most likely to CONTINUE to make something of myself. Even my relatives know that if you want something from this "family", better check with the middle one.
Check this out....I'm single, NEVER MARRIED, no children and I'm "50"! I'll be 51 on July 13th. Can you IMAGINE the "loser" comments I've gotten from that tag? First thing people ask me is, "why didn't you get married?" Or, "you never married? What's wrong with you?" On top of that, I'm smart, attractive and I can cook (culinary college and catering).
Here's the problem with the "loser" mentality:
- Any tags, titles or fears you have ARE ULTIMATELY generated by you! You allow them to happen. You listen to them. You keep people around you who feed these whispering notions in your ears. You read books, magazines or listen to the TV blasting these types of statements and when you do, you swallow them up as affirmations.
Here's my suggested solution to your problem:
- Eistein once said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge." Start BELIEVING in yourself even if you "cook" it up in your imagination. Then begin to back "the new you" up with knowledge - start becoming an expert at something other than "whining and waiting."
I'm closing with two examples:
- I told people I was a event planner when I had NO experience. At the same time, I found special event trade magazines that published "how to" articles. Duh! I cut those articles out, cataloged them in a file cabinet then started telling people I knew how to plan a golf tourney, wedding, convention or family reunion. When I convinced somebody to hire me, I simply went back to my article files for the steps. BAM! I was an event planner. (My trick: trade magazines were EXPENSIVE - but offered free subscriptions if you qualified. I made up a company name, made myself president and got free subscriptions!)
- Next time somebody says something, ANYTHING about your life, decisions, motives, etc. Here's what you say, "what's it to you?" With a smile of course but in a stern tone of voice. Almost like you are ready to pick a fight if they don't answer back right. Then, don't wait for the answer, move on - turn around, leave them. After a while, they'll stop.. or you'll learn how to fight for yourself......
.....like me. :-)